Category Archives: Religious freedom

Book Series – Chapters III and IV – DOES DIVORCE DISSOLVE MARRIAGE?

REVEREND MlLTON T.WELLS  (1901-1975)

EASTERN BIBLE  INSTITUTE

GREEN LANE,  PENNSYLVANIA

1957 – (Public Domain)

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FB profile 7xtjwNote by Standerinfamilycourt:    Rev. Wells was an Assemblies of God Pastor and served as President of the Eastern Bible Institute in Pennsylvania,  now known as the University of Valley Forge.

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have called his scholarly work, with its rigorous application of all the principles of hermeneutics to the scriptural texts on marriage “faithful”.

The author uses the term “Five-Word-School”  for those who reject Christ’s teaching, centered around Luke 16:18 and other scripture, that the marriage covenant is dissolved only by the physical death of one of the spouses; those who instead prefer to center their view around Matthew 19:9 according to the Erasmean / Lutheran / Calvinist rendering, in such a way as to contrive a “biblical exception” (except-it-be-for-fornication) to justify remarriage after civil divorce.  

 

CHAPTER III  –  THE POSITION OF THE FIVE WORD SCHOOL

 

A.   The Five Word School Builds a Doctrine of Divorce on One Text

 A  group of believers today as in the past, insist that the Scriptures teach the right of an “innocent party” to put away his adulterous spouse and marry another even though that mate is still living.  This group admittedly build their doctrine on one  isolated text, namely, Matt. 19:9 (A. V.)  and more specifically on five words (as in the Authorized Version) of the text.  Certainly it is fair and approp­riate that they be called the FIVE WORD School of Divorce, for without this text, and particularly its exceptive clause of  five words as stated in the Authorized Version,   they would have no support for their doctrine.

Rather than first collating all the divorce texts and then making an objective study of each before deducing a doctrine from their general tenor, the FIVE WORD School proceeds on the assumption that Matt.19:9(A.V.) alone provides the answer to the problem of the right of an innocent party to divorce an adul­terous mate and marry another while the first mate is still living.

Instead of bringing this text into the light of all the texts bearing on the sub­ject, they bring all the texts bearing on the subject into the light of their biased interpretation of Matt. 19:9 and insist on interpreting all other divorce texts strictly in its illumination. It is amazing that they presume to interpret the MANY texts in the light of the ONE text and not the ONE in the light of the MANY,  which has been the method of the Church of Christ over the centuries. Certainly this same group of evangelicals do not follow this method of interpreta­tion in other areas of Christian doctrine. They would be among the first to re­pudiate and decry teachers of cults who follow the principle which they them­selves pursue in arriving at their doctrine of divorce.

The reasoning of the FIVE WORD School is very much like the reasoning of ad­vocates of evolution. The latter start with the premise that evolution is true, and therefore conclude that the facts of biology, geology, and paleontology must support the doctrine of evolution. The FIVE WORD School starts with the premise that its distinctive interpretation of the one isolated text, Matt.19:9(A.V.), is conclusively proven and therefore, all other divorce texts of the Bible must fol­low the same interpretation, namely,  that all innocent parties have the right to marry another upon divorcing their adulterous spouses.  To a legally trained mind, this kind of reasoning is like a lawyer’s brief drawn to support his pre-determined conclusion.   Indeed they reason in a circle, for they use the conclusion to prove the premise.

Charles F. Kettering of the General Motors Corporation once said, “I have a friend who gave me a definition for logic.  He says logic is an organized pro­cedure for going wrong with confidence and certainty.”  This statement con­tains more truth than humor.  How careful, therefore,  must any teacher be in developing a statement of doctrine.  Certainly he must eschew the method of building a doctrine on an a priori postulate, or the teacher himself may bede­ceived by his own presumed logic. The greater peril will be that multitudes may follow the self-deceived teacher to their temporal and eternal sorrow.  The danger will be especially grave for those who follow an erroneous doctrine of divorce, for such may lead them to commit the sin of adultery, which precludes entrance into the kingdom of God  (I Cor.6:9,I0).

If the FIVE WORD School’s exegesis of Matt. 19:9,  standing by itself, were seemingly correct, it would still be unsound to interpret all other divorce texts strictly in its isolated light when the preponderance of Scripture states a position which sharply modifies what appears superficially to be the meaning of Matt. 19:9 (A. V. ). John Owen once said. “Error under the notion of truth takes firm root in the carnal mind.”  May God sanctify our minds that they may be kept free from error.

How scripturally poor must be a doctrinal school which insists on resting its case on ONE principal text when there is a preponderance of texts presenting the doctrine in a totally different light. It cannot claim that it has two texts upon which to rest its case because Matt.5:32 does not specifically declare that one has either the right to divorce an adulterous mate or to marry another when such a one has been put away. This point will be discussed more fully under the treatment of Matt.5:32.

Some members of the FIVE WORD School unwittingly admit the scriptural weakness of their position by accepting and appealing to some or all of the false assumptions which follow, and many more which will be discussed at some length in the Appendix under the heading A CHARGE TO THE JURY OF READERS.  There are twenty-one points under this section in which the writer has presented the major objections of the FIVE WORD School to the position of the Conservative School and has there given an answer to them.

 

B. Five Erroneous Postulates of the FIVE WORD School are Stated

The doctrine of divorce of the FIVE WORD School appears to be based chief­ly on five major erroneous postulates relating totext (Matt. 19:9, A.V.).  They follow:

I. The assumption that because the Pharisees understood the word divorce in Matt.19:9 to mean what it meant in Deut.24:1-4, namely, to dissolve a mar­riage, therefore Matt. 19:9 obviously teaches that an innocent party may dissolve his marriage for adultery and marry another.

2.   The assumption that the exceptive clause of Matt. 19:9 (A. V.) must modify the clause, ”and marrieth another,”  which immediately follows it, thus permitting an innocent spouse to dissolve his marriage and marry another.

3. The assumption that the Greek text which supports Matt.19:9 (A.V.) has been proven beyond any possible doubt to be the finally approved text, despite the fact that no true textual scholar would presume to make such an assertion and de­spite the fact that many outstanding Greek scholars have believed the variant reading, which is in complete accord with the context of the text in question, to be the more accurate one.

4.  The assumption that one principal divorce text Matt. 19:9(A.V.) must scripturally settle the right of an innocent party to divorce an adulterous mate and marry another.

5. The assumption that the almost intolerable situation of many remarried divorcees who profess Christ as their Saviour necessitates a liberal view of Matt.19: 9 , permitting at least the innocent spouse to marry again while his former mate is still living.

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CHAPTER IV –  A SURVEY OF THE SEVEN PRINCIPAL DIVORCE TEXTS OF THE NEW TESTAMENT

A specific item of evidence might,if taken by itself, prove an innocent man to be guilty, whereas the accumulated evidence that might be painstakingly in­troduced in a court, when viewed as a whole, would prove the seemingly guilty one to be innocent.

The proof of God ‘s existence does not rest on one or two evidences but on many evidences.  Any of the several evidences would not prove that the God of the Bible is, and is the Creator of the Universe, but the cumulative evidence from many sources within and without the Bible establishes that fact.

The cumulative evidence, both within and without the Bible for the Conservative view of Matt.19:9 seems to the author of this book, and to many others who have read it, to be conclusive.  It has been stated that a doctrine cannot beac­cepted as true unless it has been established beyond reasonable doubt. In that case, a far greater burden of doubt lies with the FIVE WORD School’s position than with the Conservative position. The pages which follow will establish that fact.

The cumulative evidence will show that the exceptive clause of Matt.19:9 and the exceptive clause of Matt. 5:32 do not grant an innocent party the right to marry another if his mate should commit adultery.

A.  Five Texts Which State That One Who Is Married   May Not Marry Another While His First Mate IsLiving

Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16: 18; Rom. 7 :2, 3; I Cor. 7: I I; I Cor.7:39.

With the five texts above and the two texts which immediately follow, we have the seven principal divorce texts of the New Testament. The text of  I Cor.7: 15 will be treated in the Appendix. The great divorce passage (Deut. 24: 1-4) of the Old Testament will be treated also.  It will be shown that it  has been ab­rogated by Christ.

B.  Five Texts Which State That One Who Marries Another While His Former Mate Is Living Commits Adultery.   They follow under two heads.

  1. Two Texts With Exceptive Statements Which State That a Divorced, Chaste Wife (An Innocent Spouse) Commits Adultery in Marrying  Another.

Matt. 5:32and 9:19

A statement of Ralph M. Riggs, General Superintendent of the Assemblies ofGod (1956),   is pertinent here:

There are seven New Testament scriptures on the question of divorce and remarriage.    In five of them (Mark I0:11;  and also verse 12; Luke 16:18; Rom.7:3;I Cor.7:11,39) the  Lord and the Holy Spirit definitely and unequiv­ocally forbid remarriage after divorce. Separation is allowed on the ground of fornication and (if the initiative is taken by the unbeliever) upon the ground of incompatibility because of one being a Christian and the other not. But in no one of the five mentioned scriptures is remarriage ever permitted but in all is distinctly forbidden.  In Matt.5:32 and 19:9 statement is made that no one shall put away his wife  save for the cause of fornication, and the state­ment continues that whoso shall marry herthat is divorced committeth adultery. To some people the inference is carried here that if an individual di­vorces another because of fornication, he or she is then free to remarry.  If there were no other scriptures than these in Matthew, such an inference might be taken and such a position maintained,   However, these twoscriptures al­ lowthis position only on inferential ground, and neither makes a positive statement that any divorced person may remarry.  In all of the five scriptures (referred to above) the absolute and positive statement made that remarriage is always forbidden. The two passages in Matthew must therefore be inter­preted as consistent with the teaching of the other scriptures.  It is only thus that we can get the tenor of teaching of God’s Word and arrive at a final un­derstanding of its laws. Thus, taking all seven of these scriptures (all that are given us in the New Testament) we come to the inevitable conclusion that al­though separation is allowed under some circumstances, remarriage while the former companion is  living is never allowed.  This is the law for Christians.

(Ralph M. Riggs: “Standards of Membership …” The Bulletin of the Illinois Dis­trict of the Assemblies of God,   (June   1953),   Springfield, Illinois.)

 

2. Three Texts which State That He Who Puts Away His Mate and Marries Another Commits Adultery, and She Who Is Put Away as a Chaste Mate Commits Adultery If She Marries Another.

 Mark 10: 11, 12; Luke 16: 18; and Rom, 7:2,3.

An extended, chronological treatment of the seven principal divorce texts of the New Testament follows in the succeeding chapters.

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  Can an adulterous relationship ever be converted to holy matrimony just by civilly divorcing to in order to legalize?   Find out in Rev. Wells’  Chapter V discussion of Matt. 5:32, next….

Back to Chapters I and II

Continue to Chapter V

Appendix

 

 

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Series – Chapters I and II – DOES DIVORCE DISSOLVE MARRIAGE?

REVEREND MlLTON T.WELLS  (1901-1975)

EASTERN BIBLE  INSTITUTE

GREEN LANE,  PENNSYLVANIA

1957 – (Public Domain)

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FB profile 7xtjwNote by Standerinfamilycourt:    Rev. Wells was an Assemblies of God Pastor and served as President of the Eastern Bible Institute in Pennsylvania,  now known as the University of Valley Forge.

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have called his scholarly work, with its rigorous application of all the principles of hermeneutics to the scriptural texts on marriage “faithful”.

The author uses the term “Five-Word-School” for those who reject Christ’s teaching, centered around Luke 16:18 and other scripture, that the marriage covenant is dissolved only by the physical death of one of the spouses; those who instead prefer to center their view around Matthew 19:9 according to the Erasmean / Lutheran / Calvinist rendering, in such a way as to contrive a “biblical exception” (except-it-be-for-fornication) to justify remarriage after civil divorce.  

 

CHAPTER I  –  WHAT CONSTITUTES MARRIAGE?

The true definition of marriage is given by Christ in Matt. 19: 1-12 and Mark in 10: 1-12.  These passages will be discussed detailedly later in this book.   Christ based his ·definition of marrlage on the principles laid down “from the beginning”,  as described in Genesis 2: 21 -24. These principles did not permit polygamy “from the beginning.”  The man, of his own choice, was to “leave his father and mother”  and “cleave unto his wife” and the Scripture adds, “they shall be one flesh.” The taking of the wife was to be for life, for Christ said:  But   from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh; so then they are no more twain; but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder   (Mark 10:6,9).

The underscored words can leave no doubt that it was God’s intention from the beginning that man should have but one wife at a time, for the Scripture above states that the husband shall “cleave to his  wife” not to his wives.  Such a union of a man’s choice is a union which “God hath joined together”; as we shall see in the study of the harmony of Matt. 19:1 -12 and Mark 10: 1- 12.  Indeed it is not man but GOD who joins husband and wife together as one.  Neither the clergy­man nor the justice of the peace ties the knot. Marriage is not of civil political or human origin.  It was instituted by God in the Garden of Eden when God joined Adam and Eve as husband and wife.  God has not given any government the right to legislate any matrimonial laws contrary to His revelation.  Those who circum­vent the true laws of marriage by adopting the human laws of marriage will an­swer for it at the eternal judgment bar of God Almighty.  Any judge who dis­solves a marriage is dissolving it contrary to the law- of God and will himself answer before the ­true Judge of all men for his action.   Any minister who marries anyone to a divorcee who has a living mate will himself answer in eternity for participating in the sin of adultery for allegedly joining together those whom Christ has forbidden to be husband and wife.

Marriage is more than cohabitation between a male and female.   Christ’s statement in John 4: 17, 18 proves that fact, as do the many Scriptures of the Old Testament which affirm that an unlawful union of a single man with a single girl is fornication.   If,  however, one party to the unlawful union is married,  sin is called adultery.   The passage In John follows:

The [Samaritan] woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband.  For thou hast had five hus­bands; and he whom thou now has is not thy husband; in that saidst thou truly.

Some have supposed that physical union of itself constitutes marriage.   Christ’s above statement, “he whom thou now hast is not thy husband” makes it exceed­ingly clear that this is not so. It seems that she was a divorced and remarried woman because the men with whom she had earlier lived were called “husbands” by Christ.  It is unlikely that the five husbands died one after the other prior to her marrying the succeeding one. The spirit of the passage indicates that he was dealing with a dissolute woman who freely divorced one husband for another. The man with whom she now lived was not her husband despite the fact that she had married him.   Hollywood has many such women.   Indeed, marital union consummates marriage; however. the union is entered before that.   Adam took Eve to be his wife before he cohabited with her.  And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man,  And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh (Gen. 2:22,23a).    Note that Adam spoke of Eve as bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh (ONE FLESH) before he went in to her. This was true because her body was made of his body, her flesh of his flesh; and this was obviously before coitus.  In this light a woman becomes a man’s wife from the time  that he publicly takes her, law­fully before men and lawfully before God, to be such.  Any other view is both unscriptural and unacceptable to all serious thinking individuals, whether Chris­tian or non-Christian, To accept another view is to accept promiscuity, prostitution, and polygamy with all their polluting and degenerating customs, vile prac­tices, and evil consequences. No thinking parent would want his son or daughter to become a victim of such a society. The all-wise God provided that marriage should be socially and morally exalting by making it a life long union before God and man.

Other Scriptures show that both in the Old and New Testaments a betrothed woman was considered to be a man’s wife before marriage was consummated in coitus. See pages 61 through 62 for a more detailed discussion of this matter. The fact that a man who cohabited with a betrothed damsel (against her will) was put to death under Moses indicates that fleshly union did not of itself con­ stitute marriage; neither is there a suggestion in the Scripture (Deut, 22:25) that such a young woman was not still the wife of her husband despite her unfortunate and grievous experience,  In fact, the young man in question would not have been put to death had she been an unbetrothed damsel (Deut.22:28, 29).  Deut.22 :24 states that the man who commits fornication with a damsel that is be­trothed has “humbled his neighbor’s wife.”  Matthew’s Gospel confirms muchofthe above. Joseph was deeply distressed that Mary, the virgin, was with childbefore he cohabited with her. He would have “put her away priv!ly (Matt. I :19) had not the angel of the Lord appeared unto him and said, “Joseph ..fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife; for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost” (Matt. l :20).  Verse 24 adds, “Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him,and took unto him his wife…There is no doubt, therefore, that a betrothed woman was known in a Biblical sense to be the wife of a man before he “knew her” in the intimacies of consummated marriage. Even in modem society a woman is known and recognized as a man’s wife immediately after the wedding ceremony before coitus.  In fact, should such a husband be killed on the same day before coitus. the wife would have legal rights to a wife’s share of his property. This is common to the laws of most Western nations.  A man or woman cannot expect to be (nor are they later) properly united when they take their vows of matrimony unless they expect to give to each other conjugal rights.

The Biblical idea of marriage provides for a stable home and the interests of the children of that home .It is not a mere human contract which may be scrapped whenever one or the other may choose.  Such a contract would permit divorce by withdrawal of either spouse from the contract upon dissatisfaction with the man­made union. The tiny sect of early Christians were in the midst of a society which practiced that kind of marriage. They were bold to teach and practice Christ’s teaching respecting marriage and, as a result, revolutionized marriage in the civilized world in subsequent generations. The early Church created a new conception of a monogamous lifelong marriage.  It insisted that such was God’s law and that its members conform to that belief. The fact that their be­lief and practice transformed society’s view and practice of marriage throughout the civilized world can only be accounted for by the fact that it came from the teaching of the divine  Lord,  It is not strange, therefore, that for many genera­tions most Christian churches have had within their marriage ceremony, at leastin substance, the following words:

I, B.,take thee C. .to be my wedded (wife)(husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death   do  us part,  according to God “s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth,

Unregenerated men of the day teach that when the partners cease to love one another, marriage may cease. Christ, to the contrary, taught that when sentimental love ceased to be felt, the marriage union continued. In fact, the Scrip­tures are plain; the union of a male and female is a real marriage whether or not”falling in love” was the origin of it.  Adam did not find his wife; God brought her to him.  Isaac had no opportunity to “fall in love” with Rebekah; she was chosen by Abraharn through Eliezer for his son.  Such arrangements were common in Bible times and are common today over a large part of the world. Indeed, love may exist apart from marriage and marriage apart from love.   Hollywood has debased and prostituted the meaning of love. They have given it a purely sensual and selfish meaning. The movie world suggests that when you become “fed up” with the girl you married, you may drop her, because you are  no longer gratified with her.  Sex is the center and circumference of marriage on the screen, and.unfortunately the screen in theater and home has set the stand­ards o f marriage for a very large segment of American society and has subtly in­filtrated the thinking and standards even of evangelicals.

There are three Greek words for love: eros , philia, and agape.  The first is centered in sex and sex atttaction. It seeks its lover for its own gratification and fulfillment.  The second, philia, is the word which best explains friendship. It means a mutual sharing of common interests, attrations and ideals.  Each lives for the other while the other is loyal and true.   It is based on reciprocity.  I love you for you fondly love me.”Let the fondness of either of the two cease and the philia ceases to carry through.   The last of the three words, has within it the spirit of altruism. and selflessness. The word describes the love of  God which is commended to mankind in spite of his sinfulness. adulteries, dishonesties, hates, bitternesses, infidelity, and unfaithfulness.  SeeRom.5:6-10.  Gods aid to Israel,

“I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee” (Jer.31:3).

The last kind of love (agape) Christ expects to be existent in marriage. “Hus­ bands, love your wives.   Even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph.5:25). This kind of love persists in showing itself to one who neither merits nor deserves it.   True, the love of eros and philia are not superseded by agape; they are enriched and dominated bythe latter which is God-like.  The spouse is loved for his or her own sake and for God’s sake.  Human standards of love are set aside for God’s.   Marriage in this sense of love as instituted at the beginning is lifelong and exclusive.  It Is indeed, in the sight of heaven, indis­soluble!

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CHAPTER II  –  BASIC RULES OF SCRIPTURAL INTERPRETATION WHICH ARE UNIVERSALLY ACCEPT BY EVANGELICAL CHURCHES OF THE PAST AND PRESENT

A.  Maxims and Principles of Interpretation Follow

Bernard Ramm presents the following in his text entitled,  Protestant Biblical Interpretation:

(Bernard Ramm:   Protestant Biblical Interpretation.   Boston, W. A. Wilde Company, 1950, pp.78-96)­

A  LIST OF GENERAL HERMENEUTICAL MAXIMS

( I) The Bible is to be interpreted in view of the fact that it is an        accommodation of divine truth to the human mind.

(2)  We must interpret the Bible with the realization that it is a progressive revelation becoming more clear as it nears the completion.

(3)   Our interpretations must keep a sound historical basis,  i.e. our inter­pretatlons must not create an historlcal blunder.

(4)  In our interpretation we must discover the meaning of a            passage, not attribute one to it a priori.   Happy is the man who can approach his Bible as free from predilections, prejudices, and biases as it is possible to do, humanly speaking. Too often the Bible is approached with stock­ in·trade or mere traditional interpretations.   But the task of the inter­preter is to determine the meaning of the Bible, not to verify his preju­dices.

(5)   Give preference  to  the clearest   and   most   evident   interpretation of a passage.   Frequently the interpreter is confronted with two equally probable interpretations as far as grammatical rules are concerned.  One is a strain upon our credulity. while the other makes good sense. We are to choose that one which makes the best sense and imposes the least strain on our credulity.

(6)  No statement should be interpreted as having  more  than one meaning unless unusually strong reasons warrant.   One of  the most persistent hermeneutlcal sins is to put two interpretations on one passage of Scripture breaking the force of the literal meaning and obscuring the Word of God.

(7)   Interpretation is one; application is many.

(8)  Interpret the Bible harmonistically. This Is based on the belief in the veracity of Scripture. Therefore, the Christian interpreter seeks to in­terpret the Bible free from all contradictions.  He will sympathetically endeavor to adjust all parts of the Bible to each other so there will be a consistent system.

(9)  Everything  essential in Scripture is clearly revealed,   This principle maintains that if a truth is an essential teaching of the Bible we need not scour the Bible to find it, nor will it be taught In one passing reference. ….The basic manner in which this principle is violated is as follows: a certain point of theological debate arises and its scriptural­ness is questioned.   The defender of the view then proceeds to find a verse or passage that has a verbal or perhaps even conceptual reference to his doctrine.   The defender proceeds to invest the verse or passage with the doctrine o r dogma he is defending.  Having found a peg on which  to  hang his doctrine. he considers it Scriptural.

We may consider something Scripturally proved when the very body of the concept is found in the Bible itself; not when we can find a peg to hang a doctrine upon.

( 10) All interpretations must be grounded in the original languages if they are to pass as accurate and factual interpretations.

(11) Ignorance as to the meaning  of some passages  must be admitted.

(12) Obscure passages mu:st give right of way to clear passages. There is the danger and temptation to invest a passage of very dubious meaning with far greater content than it will bear.

(13) Check all interpretations by referring them to secular studies,  a doc­trinal system, and the great efforts of the past.

(14) Finally, the Old Testament must be continuously searched for help in interpreting the New Testament

(Lewis Sperry Chafer: Systematic Theology, Vol. I. Dallas, Texas, Dallas Seminary Press, 1947. p 8);

Leading theologians of the day accept the following as a fundamental prin­ciple of interpretation:

Induction is distinctly the scriptural method of interpretation. Such in­ductions are imperfect when some but not all the texts bearing on a given subject are made the foundation of a doctrinal declaration.

The following principle is universally accepted by evangelical teachers:

The consensus of opinion of Bible Scholars is against founding a doctrine upon an isolated verse of Scripture when the preponderance of Scripture states otherwise.  No one should ever attempt to bring the general tenor of Scrip­ture to the terms of an isolated verse, but should rather call the isolated verse to the terms of the broader teaching of Scripture on a given subject.

B.  The Law of Witnesses is Plain.

In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established (IICor. 13:1).

C. The Treatment of Contexts Is Important.

  1. General Principles of Contexts and Their Abuses

It is also an accepted rule of true interpretation that every text should be understood in the light of its context or contexts. Every verse of Scripture or phrase of Scripture has both a limited context and a general context. The statements immediately before and after a given verse of Scripture which bear on the same subject are its limited context. The position that the text holds in reference to the book in which it is found is likewise important. The general context em­braces both the book in which the text is found and its relationship to the gen­eral tenor of Scripture found in THE BOOK, the Holy Scriptures,  as a whole.

Bernard Ramm has shown the importance of a context in this statement:

Just as a knowledge of each individual word falls to yield the meaning of a sentence and recourse must be made to grammar, so at times when all the grammatical data are known the sentence is still uninterpreted.  For example, the word nature has several major meanings in the English language as a con­sultation of any unabridged dictionary will reveal.  What the word means in any given sentence can only be determined by the context.  So the study of the context takes its place with the study of words and grammar as absolutely is very conscious of contexts.

It is striking that the contexts of Scriptures which support the Conservative School of Divorce are attacked by the FIVE WORD School to discredit their having any validity as a support for texts of Scripture which speak strongly for the Conserva­tive position of divorce.  Examples of the practice of the FIVE WORD School in this regard will follow later.

 

2. Context of Parallel Accounts in the Gospel

A full treatment of this subject will appear under the introduction to the har­mony of the two divorce accounts, Matt. 19: 1-12 and Mark 10:1-12.

D.  The Presumption of Establishing  a  Doctrine upon One Text is Revealed

There is a wide difference of opinion in the Church of Christ between the Ar­minian and Calvinistic schools of theology respecting the eternal security of the Christian believer, yet neither of these schools presumes to build their doctrine upon one text.  Neither do opposing schools, which differ widely respecting their views of the baptism of the Holy Spirit, pre-millenialism, the time of the rapture of the Church, and the doctrine of sanctification, presume to build their doctrine on one text.

Think of the presumption of either an individual or group that would seek to establish a doctrine of the absolute humanity of Christ. to the utter exclusion of his deity, on ONE text,   namely,   I Tim. 2:5:

For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men. the   man  Christ Jesus.

The statement of this text that Christ is a man must be modified in the light of a preponderance of Scriptures which show Him to be deity as well as man.

Think of the presumption of either an individual or group that would seek to establish a doctrine that human teachers are not needed in the Christian Church because of the statement of ONE text, namely, I John 2:27:

 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach  you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

The statement of this text that a Christian needs no man to teach him must be modified in the light of a preponderance of Scriptures which show that God has appointed teachers for the Church to instruct others under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Think of the presumption of either an individual or group that would think to establish a doctrine of the final restitution of all wicked men on ONE text.name­ly,   I Cor.15:22:

For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

There can be no doubt that this text teaches that all shall be made alive in Christ, but it is and must be modified and qualified by the preponderance of other Scriptures bearing on the subject which show that all men will not have eternal life, but only those who repent of sin and accept Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord.

Think of the presumption of an individual or group that would seek to estab­lish the right of an innocent party to marry another after divorcing his spouse if he. or they, sought to build such a doctrine on ONE isolated text. namely, Matt. 19:9(A.V.):

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another. committeth adultery: and whoso mar­rieth her which ls put away doth commit adultery.

Truly this text appears on the surface to support the assumption of the group of interpreters called the FIVE WORD School, but the preponderance of texts and passages of Scripture teach otherwise, as will be shown in this book.

FB profile 7xtjw  SIFC:  Did Jesus really say anything at all about an “exception clause” as apparently quoted (solely) in the book of Matthew?    Is there such a thing  — or was Erasmus and virtually the entire post-Reformation Church in serious, soul-endangering error?   Have literally millions gone to hell since the 16th  century for unrepented biblical adultery “sanctified” within the church walls?   To get to the truth, we need to dive into some hermeneutical principles, next installment, Chapter IV.

Back to Introduction

Continue to Chapters III and IV

Appendix

 

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7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

Book Series: Introduction – DOES DIVORCE DISSOLVE MARRIAGE?

REVEREND MlLTON T.WELLS  (1901-1975)

EASTERN BIBLE  INSTITUTE

GREEN LANE,  PENNSYLVANIA

1957 – (Public Domain)

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FB profile 7xtjwNote by Standerinfamilycourt:    Rev. Wells was an Assemblies of God Pastor and served as President of the Eastern Bible Institute in Pennsylvania,  now known as the University of Valley Forge.   His work would be considered “judgmental”, “legalistic” and “graceless” in many of the Assembly of God churches like the one SIFC belongs to today, and virtually any other evangelical Protestant church in America.

Our Lord Jesus Christ would have called his scholarly work, with its rigorous application of all the principles of hermeneutics to the scriptural texts on marriage “faithful”.    Until 1973,  so did all of Rev. Wells’ peers in the ministry.   Rev. Wells’ cautions in the Preface to this book, of course, went shamelessly unheeded by denominational leadership, and his words predicting the consequences proved prophetic.

The author uses the term “Five-Word-School” for those who reject Christ’s teaching, centered around Luke 16:18 and other scripture, that the marriage covenant is dissolved only by the physical death of one of the spouses; those who instead prefer to center their view around Matthew 19:9 according to the Erasmean / Lutheran / Calvinist rendering, in such a way as to contrive a “biblical exception” to justify remarriage after civil divorce.   It is interesting to read that even with the much-lower divorce rates of the 1950’s, the author even then refers to “a storm center of controversy among evangelical church leaders and other churchmen……especially over the past 3 decades.”   Some men of God will never take Christ’s “no” with a submissive spirit….as an undershepherd concerned primarily for souls above human esteem.

 

FOREWORD

We are living in perilous times. One of the most serious perils of our times is divorce, a danger which threatens the very foundation of our society; the mar­riage institution and the home.   One out of four American marriages breaks to pieces in a divorce court.  So many people are mixed up in their marriage rela­tions today that our social fabric is seriously  weakened.   Sensuality and promis­cuity are all too common in the American scene.   Hell and Hollywood contrib­ute freely of their vulgarity and sin.   These are indeed the days when men have “eyes full of adultery.”

Against this tide of evil the church stands as the only remaining bulwark. It  was reassuring. recently, to have a member of the British royal family stand firmly with her church against the temptation to marry a divorced man.  Certain churches in America also stand resolutely against marriage after divorce.  That  Holiness and Pentecostal churches be among those that resist this evil is properly consistent.  They refuse to countenance easy   divorce and remarriage  after di­vorce for any reason.

Such a position is Scriptural! “Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry another committeth adultery against her.”   Mark 10: 11. In his book, “Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage?” Reverend Milton T. Wells has presented this position in an able manner. He has done the church and its moral standard a real service in this complete and convincing document which he has prepared.  May it bring reassurance and strength to the church and Christians in general as they resist the pressure and help stem the tide of modern laxity and compromise.

Reverend Ralph M. Riggs

General Superintendent

The Assemblies of God

 

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PREFACE

 

The frightening increase of divorce in the past two decades is tragic. Even more tragic is the departure of some evangelical churches from the clear teaching of Christ respecting marriage and divorce.   Today, a large segment of the Christian Church accommodates the Scriptures  to the seeming necessities of di­vorcees.   This compromising practice has led to a vitiated doctrine of divorce with terrible and consequent results.  Indeed, divorcees and their mates need the sympathetic concern of every true pastor, but a church must not build doctrines of divorce to suit the practices of expediency and heart-felt sympathies, neither must such doctrines be adjusted to fit the Christian experiences of these  unfortu­nate lives. Christian experience cannot settle Christian doctrine; Biblical doc­trine alone must determine and qualify Christian experience and the practices and rules respecting the divorce problem within the Church.

God is regenerating the lives of spouses of divorce unions.  This fact however should be no excuse for the Church to alter her doctrine of divorce. To do so will increase the rate of divorce and remarriage both within and without the Church, and consequently will blight the lives of millions of innocent children now living and yet unborn. The blame for the dreadful increase of divorce is properly laid at the door of the compromising segments of the Christian Church.

The purpose of this book is to draw believers back to an objective study and exegesis of the Scriptures bearing on the doctrine of divorce, that they may see whether Christ did, indeed, teach the doctrine .of the indissolubility of marriage for any cause,

The further matter of the status of converted divorcees  within the Church is treated at considerable length in the Appendix.

The writer is deeply indebted to the following for their substantial help in the preparation of the manuscript:  Paul H. Chappeli. Esq., member of the Maryland Bar; Richard J. Crozier, S. T. M.; Hobart E. Grazier, B. A.; Nicholas Tavani, B.A. and R. E. Watson, B. E. D._, A. M., Ph. D.   It is doubtful that the writer could have completed such a comprehensive treatment of the subject except for the inspira­tion, encouragement, and practical assistance of these brethren, some of whom contributed brief sections which they have permitted the author to include in the text without identification of their authorship.   In addition,   other   anonymous friends generously assisted in preparing the manuscript copy.  A hearty “thank you” is extended to them.

The writer is also grateful for the kind permission of many publishers to quote and print portions of their publications, acknowledgements of which are con­tained in footnotes.

 

INTRODUCTION

Divorce with its attendant evils is one of the most serious blights upon modern society.  Recent statistics reveal that there are three times as many suicides among divorced persons as there are among married people and that more delin­quent children are found in homes broken by divorce than in homes broken by death.  Whenever God’s laws are broken, someone has to pay. Nations and churches are only as strong as their homes. God ordained the family to be the core and strength of the moral and spiritual welfare of mankind; therefore it is important that society know the teachings of the Holy Scriptures respecting di­vorce and remarriage.

All Bible-believing Christians will agree that Jesus did not permit divorce be­tween husband and wife, except in the case of fornication on the part of the one or the other.  The following scriptures leave no doubt about this matter:  Matt. 5:32, 19:9; Mark 10: 1-12, and Luke 16:18.

True evangelicals, however, do disagree as to whether or not the Scriptures teach that a chaste mate may BOTH “put away” his unchaste mate and marry another.  One group of believers, whom we shall call the FlVE WORD School of Divorce, insists that the Scriptures teach that a “chaste mate” may put away a mate who commits adultery or fornication and then marry another while the first mate is still living. The writer of this paper is of the Conservative School, which believes that the Scriptures teach that a “chaste mate” may be separated from an “unchaste mate” but MAY NOT remarry while that mate still lives.  The writer, at the close of this paper, will show that there may even be a grave  doubt as to whether Christ authorized one to DIVORCE an adulterous wife.

Numbers of churches, including some of the older denominations, which in the earlier years of their existence retained rigid views on divorce, going so far as to forbid the right of the so-called “Innocent party” of Matt.19:9 who divorces his “unchaste wife” because of fornication to remarry, have in later years  liberalized  their doctrine of divorce.  Is this a fulfillment of II Thess.2:3. “Let no man de­ceive you by any means: for that day [the day of the Lord] shall not come, except there come a falling away first ..and that man of sin be revealed the son of per­dition..?  Will our denomination follow the pattern of other apostatizing  churches?  God forbid!

Is the more liberal view of Matt. 19:9, and divorce as a whole, based on a bet­ter exegesis and exposition of the sacred Scriptures and is therefore more to be desired for the glory of God.  Should changing moral standards and mores of mod­ern times cause us to re-examine the Scriptures with a direct effort to seek for a more liberal interpretation of Scripture, as it touches upon the subject of divorce and remarriage, so that the Church may more..realistically “establish standards” in keeping with the more universally accepted moral tone of the timesl

It is true that students of either side of a given doctrine are prone to regard only that which will entrench them further in their previous convictions. It is, unfortunately, doubtful whether many students or readers of studies on either side of the interpretation of Matt;19:9 will alter the opinions with which they ap­proached the study of this subject.   It is my hope that the reading of this paper will accomplish two purposes: first, to clarify the thinking and convictions of those who are still uncertain as to which of the two views is correct; and second, to resolve the problem for those who, while they have accepted the conclusions and interpretations of the FIVE WORD School, still have deep misgivings because they know that strong segments of the Christian Church for centuries have held the conservative view of this question, and further, because they realize that a loophole for divorce and remarriage for the one cause of fornication will certain­ly lead to permission for divorce and remarriage for other causes.

The very fact that the doctrine of divorce has been one of the storm centers of controversy among evangelical church leaders and other churchmen for centuries, and more particularly in the last three decades, should impel him who ap­proaches this subject to come humbly with an honest heart and open mind, pre­pared to study diligently and painstakingly all the Scriptures in the Bible deal­ing with the subject.  No easy, snap judgments are in order here. Thorough thinking is needed. Obviously, the Conservative School and the FIVE WORD School of the divorce controversy cannot both be right. Let us, therefore, think prayerfully under God until by God’s grace we truly think God’s thoughts after Him in this great problem of the Christian Church. The Holy Spirit through the Apostle Paul has bidden us:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (II Tim.2:15).

An old French writer made an observation in the nineteenth century which is far more true today.   He said that Democratic societies prefer books which may be easily procured, quickly read, and which require no learned researches to be understood …they must have what is unexpected and new.  Accustomed to the struggle, the crosses, and the monotony of practical life, they require  strong and rapid emotions, startling pas­sages, truths or errors brilliant enough to rouse them up and to plunge them at once as if by violence,   into the midst of the subject. I

A. W. Tozer: the editor of the Alliance Weekly, has said:

Our “vastly improved methods of communication” of which the short-sighted boast so loudly now enable a few men in strategic centers to feed into millions of minds alien thought stuff, ready-made and pre-diagnosed.  A little effortless assimilation of these borrowed ideas and the average man has done all the thinking he will or can do.  This subtle brain-washing goes on day after day ad year after year to the eternal injury of the populace — a populace, incidentally, which is willing to pay big money to have the job done, the reason being, I suppose , that it relieves them of the arduous and often frightening task of reaching independent decision for which they must take responsibility.

It is necessary that all who approach the study of this subject do so dispassion­ately, for admittedly there are scholarly and godly men on either side of this question who are deeply convinced that their position is the correct one.  May we come to the Scriptures in the study of this subject, by the help of God, without fixed prior prejudice or bias and without desire to wrest the Scriptures to suit them to the convenience of our denomination’s supposed need,  our seeming ne­cessities, our proclivities, or our carnal sympathies!  Alas, so often one’s expressed thought in a matter of diverse opinion is fathered by what suits his biased wish or apparent necessity rather than by an objective study of the facts in the case.  Most everyone sees the folly of this in others, but all are prone to do thesame thing. How desperately each one who studies this subject needs the illum­ination and direction of the Holy Spirit.  May God help each of us who approach­es the subject of divorce and remarriage to be free from this grave evil which has so many times blighted the Church of Christ. May this question not be set­tled by the traditions of great branches of the Protestant Church, no matter on which side of the question they may stand, for it is a fact that two of these, the  Church of England and the Presbyterian Church, have had equally eminent schol­ars championing opposite sides of the divorce problem under discussion. Surely it must be settled on the same sound principles of interpretation which have char­acterized the Christian Church for centuries in establishing the vital and essential doctrines of Holy Scriptures which have been virtually universally accepted by Bible-believing Christians for many generations.

The pastor who has dealt with earnest, believing divorcees, or their   mates, tempted to desire a doctrine of divorce which will enable him will be peculiarly to solve more expeditiously, at least, some of the complex problems of divorcees with the sympathy of his heart rather than with the conviction of his soul borne of a clear understanding of the teachings of the Holy Scriptures.   Many of these unfortunates have come into evangelical churches as a result of the easy divorces secured during World War II. They need Christ, He died for them. A pastor should not presume to give such people hasty and severe counsel lest they be pre­cipitated into worse moral pollution. God will guide them if they are encouraged to seek the Lord earnestly and study the Word of God diligently for light on their problems.

A pastor whose relatives have been blighted by divorce will find it difficult to be completely objective as he studies the Scriptures on this subject.   Obviously, a divorced person who is still unmarried will find it difficult also. Man’s depraved nature tends to press him to favor interpretations which make his way and the way of others easier and to favor such views of Scripture as shall not make him an exile and stranger (foreigner) (I Pet. 2: I I) to the spirit of his age (Rom. 12: 1.2V.) or church.  May all of us who pursue this study seek to be true Bereans, who search earnestly for the truth under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. May we seek the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth regarding this matter, cost what it may to us,  or to those nearest and dearest to us, or to any others for whom we have the deepest sympathy and compassion. The Bereans “were more noble than those in Thessalonica , in that they received the word with all readinessofmind, and searched the Scriptures daily, whether those things were so” (Acts 17:I I). Certainly the unfortunate divorcees need our sympathy, but we dare notbuild a doctrine of divorce on our sympathy and at the same time claim tobe honest with ourselves and the God of the Holy Scriptures.

Tangled problems of divorcees within the Church must be settled; however, they must not be settled by a prejudiced accommodation of the sacred Scriptures to them but by bringing them to the light of the truth gained by a straightforward and exact exegesis of the divorce texts of the Bible. Christ said,”Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word isTRUTH” (John 17:17).   All should heed the call of the STANDARD BEARER who during a fierce battle was bidden to return the flag to the retreating troops.   As he turned to press forward, he cried,   “BRING THETROOPS UP TO THE STANDARD,  I SHALL NOT BRING THE STANDARD DOWN TO THE TROOPS!”

May God help all who write on this subject, and all who diligently study it, to regard prayerfully the warning by V. H. Stanton: ..When once we have thought ourselves into a particular theory,  a conviction of its truth is apt to be bred in the mind, which is altogether beyond the evidence, while inconvenient facts are ignored…V. H.Stanton: The Expositor, Vol.Vll.

 

Continue to Chapters I  and  II  –  Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage?

 

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7 Times Around the Jericho Wall |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

Rebuttal to ERLC: “IS DIVORCE EQUIVALENT TO HOMOSEXUALITY?”

by “standerinfamilycourt”

“standerinfamilycourt” responds to a blog dated September 24, 2014 by Dr. Russell D. Moore, President of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention (ERLC) safe_image (2)

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.”     1 Corinthians 6:9-10

‘If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.”  Luke 14:26

 

In the fall of 2014, Dr. Moore and the Southern Baptists, and separately, the Roman Catholic Church held conferences on the future of the traditional family and “inclusiveness” issues in the Church.    Following this, we started hearing a lot from the Catholics about how remarried divorced people should be made to  feel “better- included” in their church life.    It seems neither church was talking much about holiness, true repentance,  or pleasing the Lord.   The Catholics may need to watch who they seek to emulate, and retain their own saltiness, rather than seeking to stem the loss of divorced members, at all costs, to permissive Protestant churches.    Dr. Moore’s blog is from this conference time frame.

 

We shall start with the title to Dr. Moore’s blog, because the obfuscation of the biblical truth actually begins right there.   “Is Divorce Equivalent to Homosexuality?    The answer is “yes” and “no”.    In the first place, the manmade concept of legalized civil divorce has absolutely no meaning in God’s eyes.   Divorce’s impact in the Kingdom of God depends on its motivation.   If civilly divorcing the partner of one’s youth,  it is willful rebellion against God’s law.   If civilly divorcing someone in order to separate from an immoral subsequent union,  it is  a step in repentance, restitution and surrender to God’s law.   Either way, God is standing firmly in covenant with the original one-flesh union, which He exclusively and permanently  joined at the time of those holy vows.

BiblicalGroundsNot

We need to point out that Dr. Moore’s view is based on an explicit presumption that Jesus supported adultery as grounds for His disciples to both divorce and remarry, based on a phrase in Matthew 19:9.    Moore presumes no debate on this point, and because this view is so broadly accepted by the vast majority of the evangelical Protestant Church, he offers no biblical defense of it  in this piece.    We will therefore not lengthen our response by addressing something Moore did not argue, except to point out the significant conflict with the preponderance of other marriage scripture and church history.   All of the early church fathers of the Rome-based church up through the 4th century (Tertullian, Origen, Jerome, Eusebius, Justin Martyr, Basil, Augustine) as well as Paul, instead centered the adultery discussion around the exceptionless pronouncement of Jesus in Luke 16:18 strictly forbidding both, consistent also with the tone of Christ’s Sermon on the Mount which raised the moral bar for a wide swath of Jewish life-conduct.   Marriage revisionists, beginning with clerics in the Emperor Constantine’s court, later persisted in shifting the debate to instead focus on Matthew 19:9 in order to accommodate Constantine’s ongoing adultery / polygamy, and this trend carried forward beyond the Reformation.    Dr. Moore assumes that some of the subsequent unions Jesus said were adultery, are not sinful and not adultery based on this revisionist view.

Nevertheless, God uses the Hebrew word   שָׂנֵ֣א [sa-ne] in Malachi 2:16 for detesting and intense hatred of the “putting away”- the wrongful repudiation or abandonment – שַׁלַּ֗ח [shalach] , literally “sending away”, which He states is an act of violence against one’s family.    Notice that there is no mention in Malachi of  any civil piece of paper nor an allowance granted by Moses to divorce,  many centuries after the journey through the wilderness.    Contrary to the false direction of Luther, God never intended for adjudication of covenant marriage to be a permanent matter of civil government ( 1 Cor. 6:1).

All that said, civil divorce is an easily reversible one-time event that (in isolation) is not at all comparable to the two ongoing states of sin entailed in homosexuality or unrepented, continuing adultery via remarriage while an estranged covenant spouse is living.   Marriage revisionists have grown quite accustomed to arguing (straight-faced) that the first abomination automatically confers God’s permission for the far worse abomination of trampling His holy matrimony covenant and misrepresenting His very character to the watching world.    We all know that the pagans know a bit of scripture, too, and of late they’ve grown quite vocal in letting us all know they are watching.

So, let’s suggest a more forthright title to Dr. Moore’s blog:   “Is  Legalized, Unrepented  Adultery Equivalent to Homosexuality?”   Based on the two scriptures quoted above, we can respond to the honestly-restated question, which now reflects the main issue of consequence before the eyes of God, with a well-supported and unequivocal “Yes”.     Continuing, unrepented practice of both adultery and homosexuality are God-substitutes of equal degree: idols.   Consequently, as long as either of these relationships continue, they continue in idolatrous competition with any relationship or fellowship with God.   Neither is worse than the other, both must be repented in exactly the same way.   Neither can be cleansed in any way other than cessation and permanent severance.  

1 Corinthians 6:11 goes on to say:

“Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”     (An exchange was made, idolatry was laid down for genuine  fellowship with the Most High.)

Dr. Moore opens his piece as follows:

This week my denomination, through its executive committee, voted to “disfellowship” a congregation in California that has acted to affirm same-sex sexual relationships. This sad but necessary move is hardly surprising, since this network of churches shares a Christian sexual ethic with all orthodox Christians of every denomination for 2,000 years. One of the arguments made by some, though, is that this is hypocritical since so many ministers in our tradition marry people who have been previously divorced.

In fact, “SIFC’s”  own large, conservative evangelical denomination did likewise up until 1973 with any pastor who performed a wedding ceremony where either the bride or the groom had an estranged living spouse.    The reason for that is, quite simply, a holy reverence for God’s unconditional participation in the indissoluble marriage covenant, which the bible teaches is a supernatural 3-party entity that scripture also tells us is broken only by the physical death of one of the spouses. (Ephesians 5:29-32, Romans 7:2, and 1 Cor. 7:39).    Ministers in the evangelical tradition who perform vain marriage ceremonies over people who have been previously divorced civilly, (but still bound spiritually to their 3-party original covenant), are jeopardizing their salvation and aiming two souls, if not their own, towards hell.   They are also destroying the power and witness of their church, for He is a jealous God.   He is a God who is most especially jealous of His symbols and the image they cast, of which biblical marriage is paramount.

Dr. Moore arrives at an entirely different conclusion, one that demands physical repentance only of homosexuality (even if legalized), but gives full accommodation to the continuance of adultery if it has been legalized.   “Grace” he says, is owed to the adulterer, but not to the homosexual, unless (only) their immoral and idolatrous relationship is terminated.    Let’s address the misuse of the concept of grace momentarily, but first let’s gain a proper understanding of the marriage covenant, what breaks it, and God’s revealed character toward it.   Once this is correctly understood according to the word of God, all of the rest of the fallacies laid out by Dr. Moore have proper context.

Covenant is a very deliberate choice, and by God’s very nature, a permanent choice.  Throughout His three-year public ministry Jesus very deliberately walked around announcing to us that He is our Bridegroom, and that He will never leave or forsake us, that He was going to lay down His life for us, that He was going to be spiritually responsible for us, even allowing God to punish Him for our transgressions by allowing God to break fellowship with Him, His only Son, for those agonizing moments on the cross.    His first miracle was by no accident performed at that wedding in Cana when He turned water into wine – not just a beverage, but symbolic of His blood and of covenant, of the indwelling Holy Spirit Who cannot abide in a sinful vessel .   He told us that nobody can contain new wine in old Pharisaical (Deuteronomy 24) wineskins.   At His last meal on earth before going to the cross, He very deliberately recited nearly all the traditional vows of the Jewish betrothal ceremony in order to comfort His disciples and to institute Holy Communion.   When He spoke His Revelation to the Apostle John, He again spoke of His wedding supper, the consummation event.

Ephesians chapter 5 gives us a definite glimpse that the marriage of our youth goes far beyond the civil certificate, and would permanently exist even without it.   True marriage represents the oneness of the Godhead, also the relationship between Christ and the Church, whom He will never permanently send away and never replace.    To blasphemously suggest that God would break covenant, and betray a living covenant spouse to join into an adulterous union suggests that He would allow His Own holiness to be defiled, and His faithfulness to be miscast as unfaithfulness.    In Malachi 2, when God is fiercely defending the covenant wife of the offender’s youth by withholding His fellowship from the adulterer, He could have referred to Himself as “YHWH” or “Jehovah”, but He did not.   He called Himself Elohim Tsebaoth, the God of Angel Armies, the Lord of Hosts.    God is also  El Kannah, the Jealous God, and whenever He sets up a symbol, lacing it in and out of holy scripture from Genesis to Revelation, it is a very big deal!

Next, Dr. Moore continues…

We don’t necessarily affirm this [welcoming of divorced and remarried people into their congregations] as good, but we receive these people with mercy and grace……

Anyone who has attended an evangelical church for any length of time can define these terms, mercy and grace, by rote.   Mercy is not receiving the bad consequences that we’ve earned or that we deserve from God.   Grace is receiving unmerited favor from God due to Jesus going to the cross for forgiveness of our past sins committed by us before we surrendered control of our lives to Him, while accepting His completed work on the cross and renouncing our own efforts to keep the law.    Another way to describe grace is the empowerment that regeneration gives us to keep moving toward holiness, due to the infilling of the holy spirit, in response to His mercy.   It is the empowerment to make it to the finish line without sin hardening our hearts again and causing us to fall away, as warned of repeatedly in the book of Hebrews.    Grace is a divine attribute that cannot be bestowed man to man, but only extended by men where God extends it.   Forbearance, on the other hand, tends to become confused with “grace”.   It is the patience and forgiveness Christ commanded us to have toward one another when we’ve been offended in some way.    Grace is never cowardly and silent (nor affirming) acceptance of a sinful way of life in a person, which the word of God makes clear will cost that person their place in the kingdom of God.   That kind of “grace” is actually man’s license, and it is decidedly unloving, because it leads to hell without warning.   Naturally, these words are offensive to a denomination which has embraced “once saved, always saved”, but not surprisingly, this false doctrine seems to accompany heretical teachings about divorce and remarriage.   In these last days, we can only call these brothers and sisters in the Lord back to the words of Jesus Himself,  much of whose unpalatable truth Calvin, Luther and Knox summarily rejected.   Jesus warned:

Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many.  Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold.  But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved. “   Matthew 24:11-13

It is absolutely right for SBC congregations to welcome both adulterers and homosexuals into their congregations, but if they do, that local body is fully responsible for discipling them into the likeness of Christ, Who laid down His life and took up His cross.  Calvinist bodies, including the Southern Baptists, embrace the “once saved, always saved” mantra which is erroneous, in light of Peter’s instruction to “walk out your faith with fear and trembling”, and in light of Paul’s repeated warnings not to fall away, not to wander from the faith, and to finish the race.    The teaching that Christ died for present and future sins has no scriptural basis without active, ongoing mortification of those sins.   We are quite literally urged by Paul not to let sin reign in our mortal bodies.   By contrast, we are urged to confess and turn from our sins on an ongoing basis after salvation, and believers are repeatedly warned “do not be deceived” with regard to the controlling addiction of sexual sin, before being warned at least twice by Paul that this will cost them their inheritance in the kingdom of God.

 

The charge of hypocrisy is valid in some respects.   I’ve argued for years and repeatedly that Southern Baptists and other evangelicals are slow-motion sexual revolutionaries, embracing elements of the sexual revolution twenty or thirty years behind the rest of the culture. This is to our shame, and the divorce culture is the number-one indicator of this capitulation.

We would admonish that his is a much more perilous and urgent admission than Dr. Moore seems to grasp, in light of the rapidly escalating lawlessness of our times and the fully-evident meltdown of our society that resulted from outright licentiousness of the evangelical church in its unwillingness to call sin sin, and deal with it as Christ and Paul commanded.   The notion that it will take this cowering bride 20 or 30 years to embrace homosexuality in light of the persecution that is building at and within our borders is absurd.  We would further remind historically that the immoral compromise with God’s definition of marriage (Matt. 19:4-6) did not originate doctrinally for the Southern Baptists in the 1960’s but with Erasmus, Luther, Calvin and Knox in the 16th century.

It seems furthermore ridiculous to think that a church or denomination who wouldn’t risk offending congregants even for the sake of their souls over enforced societal normalization of adultery would suddenly develop an appetite and the discipline to weather persecution over enforced normalization of homosexuality as long as they cling to a belief of “once saved, always saved.”    After all, “grace” will cover it, and Jesus’ death paid for all present and future sins  – so insisting on physical repentance from remarriage adultery is “legalism”.

Legalism..huh

The preaching on divorce has been muted and hesitating all too often in our midst.

As we’ve just demonstrated, it’s a very good thing that it has been “muted” in many churches, for it has also been heretically distorted and false, when it does occur.   Better to have muted teaching than loud teaching that defies Luke 16:18 by claiming that an ongoing state of sin doesn’t persist in adulterous civil remarriages, or put forth blasphemous slander against the very character of God by denying His character revelation that He never breaks or abandons an original marriage covenant.   Better for such a  compromised pastor to remain silent in his deception than falsely claim from the pulpit that exiting immoral civil unions is “repeat sin” rather than the repentance and restitution it actually is.   Or to blaspheme that a Holy God would enter into “covenant” with adultery.   His position is very clear.   In Malachi 2, He says “I stand as a witness between you and the wife of your youth…she IS (not was) your partner, the companion of your marriage covenant.”   In Numbers 23:19, He says of Himself, “I am not a man that I should lie, nor a son of man that I should change My mind.  Do I speak, and not act?   Do I promise, and not fulfill?”

We love what Sam Crabtree, Executive Pastor of the Salem Baptist Church said  in the blog DesiringGod, April 9, 2014:
We are free to divorce when Jesus divorces the Church, which is never. (Even the divorce in Isaiah 50 is not a divorce from those he predestined, called, justified, and glorified, but rather a temporary action taken against ethnic Israel, who was never en masse the true bride in the first place.).    We are free to remarry when Jesus remarries a bride other than the elect bride, which is not as long as the spouse lives.”    AMEN!

Continuing with Dr. Moore….

Sometimes this is due to what the Bible calls “fear of man,” ministers and leaders afraid of angering divorced people (or their relatives) in power in congregations. Sometimes it’s due to the fact that divorce simply seems all too normal in this culture; it doesn’t shock us anymore.     Exactly, Dr. Moore!

The fear of man brings a snare,
But he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted.    Proverbs 29:25

Continuing…

…there are arguably some circumstances where divorce and remarriage are biblically permitted. Most evangelical Christians acknowledge that sexual immorality can dissolve a marital union, and that innocent party is then free to remarry (Matt. 5:32). The same is true, for most, for abandonment (1 Cor. 7:11-15). If the church did what we ought, our divorce rate would be astoundingly lowered, since vast numbers of divorces do not fit into these categories. Still, we acknowledge that the category of a remarried person after divorce does not, on its face, indicate sin.

Dr. Moore is here arguing with Jesus Himself when he makes his last fallacious assertion.   It matters not one whit what “most evangelical Christians” opine.   All that matters is what Jesus actually commanded.    One day, He’s going to ask, “Why do you call me Lord, Lord but do not do what I say?”

Luke 16:18:  18 Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31-32:  31 “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus made this statement in the midst of His lengthy Sermon on the Mount, where He talked extensively about suffering for the kingdom of God, where He completely abrogated numerous points in the Pharisaical Mosaic law that embellished the Ten Commandments to the point of conflicting with them, and where He was unquestionably raising the moral bar, requiring forgiveness and reconciliation, and demanding that we keep our hearts clean and soft.   Against this backdrop, the street-speak version of what He said in this passage Matthew 5:32 is:

“You married a ‘Ho’ you say?   Too bad!   You [are] one-flesh with her and I’m also a party to that, until one of you ain’t no more .  So, if you kick her out and run, even if you get a piece of paper from the rabbi, you makin’ her a ‘Ho’ if she ain’t one already!”

Permission to divorce for adultery?   Don’t think so, dawg!    Permission to marry someone else?   Not unless you want a wife and a concubine, and not if you want Me to bless it!   I just got done telling you that if you say one unworthy word about her,  you are in danger of hell, and if you so much as reach for another woman, you’re at strong risk of wishing for all eternity you had cut off that hand first!

The Greek tense used here for  “commits adultery” is vitally important as well, but some scripture revisionists like to falsely assert, like Moore, that even if the marriage was sinful, it’s “still a marriage” or “the adultery is only a one-time act, covered by grace”.    If that were so, let me suggest that the One Who never spoke an idle word would have saved His breath for something important rather than repeat it twice!    Jesus used the present-indicative tense to refer to an ongoing state of adultery.   This is not a marriage in anything but the 2-party civil sense, and it doesn’t become one just because the parties are “sorry” but do not terminate the relationship.   The original marriage(s) still stand(s) undissolved!  There is a difference between being sorry for the evil consequences of transgression, and being sorry because fellowship with God is broken, leading in the latter situation to removal of the competing idol.   Adultery, and any form of idolatry always leads to a hard heart, which leads to enmity with God and, if not corrected, eternal separation from Him.    This is the reason John the Baptist told King Herod, an unbeliever civilly married to another unbeliever who remained the covenant wife of his brother, “it is not lawful for you to have her.”  (Matt. 14:4), and showing, as well, there is also no exception for spiritual condition.

Dealing now with the inexcusable misuse of 1 Cor. 7:15, this too comes courtesy of Paul in the midst of a passage that was teaching exactly the opposite of a “right” to divorce and remarry after abandonment.   For that very reason, remarriage is not even mentioned in this chapter.   In verses 10 and 11, Paul has stated that the Lord commands  the husband not to divorce his wife (no exceptions mentioned), and the wife not to separate from her husband, but if she does separate, to remain unmarried or be reconciled with her husband.   The chapter ends with verse 39 reiterating the reason:  the marriage bond δέδεται (dedetai) “deo” cannot be broken by anything but physical death.    It is no coincidence that Paul’s teaching taken in correct context correlates more so to Luke 16:18 than to any other gospel rendering.   Several church fathers’ writings, such as Tertullian, give extensive account of the two of them travelling and ministering together,  along with Paul’s mentorship of Luke as eyewitness to Christ’s teaching.

220px-Tertullian

Aside from the obvious context issue, 1 Cor. 7:15 has for centuries suffered significant Greek language translation abuse, with several of the words in that isolated verse, including the words “departs” and “bound”, that are best resolved by looking up Romans 7:2-3, 1 Cor. 7:15 and 1 Cor. 7:39 in a Greek interlinear text tool.    Upon doing this, it becomes clear that the word δεδούλωται (dedoulōtai) or “douloo” is not the word for marriage bond at all, but means “compelled to meet the absent spouse’s needs”, rather than follow Christ with single-minded focus.   Consistent with the rest of scripture, abandonment indeed does not break the indissoluble covenant marriage bond, either.

If the church “did what we ought”,  pastors would immediately cease performing weddings over anyone with an estranged living covenant spouse – no excuses.   That’s what the Assemblies of God did up to 1973, until unilateral divorce became the domineering blight on the land.   The immorality of the world system and culture should never drive doctrine or practice in the church!
With actual souls on the line, if the church “did what we ought”,  pastors would start telling their flock that the only biblical grounds for divorce is to undo falsely-sanctified, legalized adultery so that they can go reconcile with the spouse of their youth, as Hosea did with Gomer.  If the church “did what we ought”, false doctrine would be rewritten and seminary courses on marriage returned to a biblical basis based on full and faithful application of the laws of hermeneutics.   Yes, those actions would indeed cause the divorce rate (and, most likely,  lukewarm membership in the body of Christ) to precipitously drop , but more importantly, it would restore power and witness to the church which has been missing for centuries.   In the two scriptures Dr. Moore cites to claim a “biblical justification” for remarriage, Matthew 5:32 and 1 Cor. 7:15, the mere application of just one of the “5-C’s” of hermeneutics (Context) would immediately debunk his perennially popular, ear-tickling assertion.   See above.

From this point on, we’ve probably made our case where addressing the remaining presumptions in Dr. Moore’s blog becomes redundant, but now that we’ve laid the essential groundwork, we soldier on to a few more points.   We’ll ignore a few, too, because they are too irrelevant to bother addressing.

Continuing…

The second issue, though, is what repentance looks like in these cases. Take the worst-case scenario of an unbiblically divorced and remarried couple. Suppose this couple repents of their sin and ask to be received, or welcomed back, into the church. What does repentance look like for them? They have, in this scenario, committed an adulterous act (Matt. 5:32-33). Do they repent of this adultery by doing the same sinful action again, abandoning and divorcing one another?

How embarrassing it must be to these churches, who have “married” people into soul-endangering adultery, when with increasing frequency, the Lord mercifully brings full reconciliation between the original covenant spouses!   In my own church, a covenant couple who has been divorced for decades is in their 80’s and dating again, taking care of each other, and coming to church together for the first time over the past two years.    We published an amazing story a few weeks ago that made national news when a man, divorced for 43 years took an engagement ring into Wal-Mart and wooed back the wife of his youth!   It has been well-documented that there is a 60-80% failure rate for serial legalized adultery that builds in direct proportion to the number of adulterous civil-only marriages one undertakes, and indications seem to be that civil “marriage” entered into from adulterous cohabitation fails at a 97% rate.   Yet that doesn’t seem to stop the harlot church from demonizing the covenant spouse (who actually has God’s intense favor), nor from treating him or her like an interloper in many churches because they continue to wear their wedding rings, to  obey 1 Cor. 7:11 and to take a biblical stand for the restoration of their covenant relationship,  most importantly,  the errant spouse’s very soul  following adulterous remarriage.   God is jealous for His symbols, and for the soundness of the generations of their covenant family, and for their souls.   In many cases, God glorifies Himself in restoring two marriages as a result of such repentance, and He snatches 3 or 4 people from the fire in such cases!   Any bloodguilt from “breaking up [non-covenant] families”  falls right back on the false shepherds who ignored God’s word and abused their ordination by immorally joining one person to another’s spouse in direct conflict with Luke 16:18.

Given the scriptural fact that nothing breaks the marriage covenant short of physical death, there is no need to carve out a “worst case scenario” for hypothetical purposes, as Dr. Moore suggests.   God has laid down and clearly defined the seventh commandment.   Violation thereof is violation thereof, regardless of the circumstances.    Repentance looks exactly the same as for any other sin:  cessation and restitution.    Failure to repent leads to an ever-hardening heart, continued idolatry and continued broken fellowship with God.    The act of repentance is hard, so hard that the apostate church’s utter lack of remorse for their part in fostering serial adultery is shocking, to say the least!    But the understanding of how to repent is not hard at all.    As long as these pastors keep performing weddings over biblical adultery, this entire line of argument is incredibly shallow and disingenuous!   We would set up an entirely different “worst case scenario” and pose this hypothetical to Dr. Moore:   a civilly-married homosexual couple has been born again, and they realize they are living in sin, so they come to you asking how to repent.   They have “been together” for 15 years and have children,  two through depriving the covenant parent custody after a civil, unilateral divorce that God does not recognize, and the other child through renting somebody’s womb.   Are you going to tell them that breaking up that “family” is a “repeat sin”,  (so do they repent of this sodomy by doing the same sinful action again, abandoning and divorcing one another? )  The obvious answer for both scenarios is “only if they, and we as their church body, care about their eternal destinies. ”

 

In most cases, the church recognizes that they should acknowledge their past sin and resolve to be faithful from now on to one another. Why is this the case? It’s because their marriages may have been sinfully entered into, but they are, in fact, marriages.

In most cases?   In what case would the church not recognize their (and the organizational) past sin?     Furthermore, adultery, covetousness and discontent are hard habits to break, because if the baggage they brought with them was actually shed, the irreplaceable, supernatural one-flesh condition naturally draws a repented heart back to their covenant spouse, because that is always God’s will and way.    For all of the reasons already laid out above, we will agree that these are indeed 2-party civil marriages, for so says the piece of paper, but it is only in this sense they are “marriages” and adultery.   The very same could be said of legalized homosexual unions, however.    Neither will ever constitute holy matrimony in God’s eyes, but rather unrepented  adultery, exactly as Jesus said.    1 Corinthians 6:9 applies equally to these civil unions where God is not a covenant party, as it does to the practice of homosexuality.

Jesus redemptively exposed the sin of the Samaritan woman at the well by noting that the man she was living with was not her husband. “You have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband” (Jn. 4:18). It could be that her husbands all died successively, but not necessarily.

Just like today, this woman most likely had quite a complicated mix of covenant husband, deceased partners, cohabitation and / or legalized adultery partners.    The fact remains that if the husband of her youth continued to live, all subsequent relationships were adulterous, and her present relationship was definitely adulterous.    If the husband of her youth was deceased, it’s possible a subsequent husband still living is now her estranged covenant husband.   We can’t speculate and there’s really no need to.   Again, looking at John 4:18 in the Greek interlinear tool, we find that one of the two words used here for “husband” is quite familiar –ἄνδρας (andros),  and ἀνήρ (aner) , either of which could also simply mean “man” or “companion”.   There is are numerous other Greek words for “husband” used in other New Testament passages, but not used here.  It is impossible to speculate from this passage which of her relationships beyond the first one constituted covenant marriage, and which were mere civil unions blessed by the rabbi under an outdated Mosaic “bill of divorcement” law that Jesus was about to abrogate. (See above).   Therefore, there is no more basis here for using this passage to support divorce and remarriage than there is in using Jacob, Elkanah,  Solomon or David’s experiences to support polygamy.    Jesus declared new rules as a result of the Sermon on the Mount.

Even if these marriages were entered into sinfully in the first place, they are in fact marriages because they signify the Christ/church bond of the one-flesh union (Eph. 5:22-31), embedded in God’s creation design of male and female together (Mk. 10:6-9).

As discussed above, God remains exclusively in the first covenant, rendering none of the above true of any attempt at remarriage,  except of remarriage solely following widowhood.   If civil marriages are entered into adulterously while the original covenant is unbroken by death, they can’t be marriage and adultery in God’s eyes at the same time, for that violates His holiness and misrepresents His faithfulness.   Jesus made it clear in Luke 16:18 that this is ongoing adultery not marriage.  The more-relevant scriptures, on which the Eph. 5 and Mark 10 scriptures cited by Moore actually depend, are:

Matthew 19: 4 -6 and 8:  And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” ….He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.

Mark 10: 6-9:  But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Ephesians 5:31 echoes this, right after saying that any man who hates his covenant wife (obviously out of a hard heart, and due to the irreversible one-flesh connection exclusively  indwelt by God) hates himself,  hates his own body.   This is because a civil piece of paper cannot separate one-flesh or make it two again.   Physically and spiritually impossible, this is.   It is clear that what was established in God’s creation design per Genesis 2:24, to which Jesus was resetting the moral compass, is the husband and wife of youth being joined for life, and never again to be two separate people in God’s eyes.    God doesn’t issue “ideals” or “intents” with a Plan B- we are talking about the 7th commandment here.   This is the basis on which Jesus took the no-excuses hard line he did in Luke 16:18.

 

Same-sex relationships do not reflect that cosmic mystery, and thus by their very nature signify something other than the gospel. The question of what repentance looks like in this case is to flee immorality (1 Cor. 6:18), which means to cease such sexual activity in obedience to Christ (1 Cor. 6:11). A state, or church decree of these relationships as marital do not make them so.

All of what Moore has flatly stated about homosexual relationships applies in exactly the same fashion to the very relationships Jesus unambiguously described in Luke 16:18.   In fact,  those verses about fleeing immorality and honoring Him with our bodies were originally written to primarily address heterosexual sin including concubinage, false divorce, prostitution and polygamy.   Moore’s last statement is particularly salient with regard to remarriage adultery, in light of what Jesus said in Matthew 19:6 and 8.    Jesus made it crystal clear that man was never given authority to dissolve covenant marriage, nor to solemnize adulterous unions.

 

Instead, our response ought to be a vision of marriage defined by the gospel, embodied in local congregations. This means preaching with both truth and grace, with accountability for entering marriages and, by the discipline of the church, for keeping those vows. We don’t remedy our past sins by adding new ones.

So long as the definition of marriage is corrected to the  Matthew 19:6 scriptural basis, we couldn’t agree more.   However, once again, Moore’s last statement is particularly salient.   The SBC may legitimately lay claim to that declaration the moment they stop creating new cases of sanctified adultery through performing immoral weddings and counseling civil divorce on fabricated “biblical grounds”.

We conclude by returning to the (adjusted) question:  “Is  Legalized, Unrepented  Adultery Equivalent to Homosexuality?”

For purposes of restoring the church’s witness, restoring her power,  overcoming her enemies, for being pure and ready to meet her Bridegroom in the clouds, for withstanding the persecution of the last days, and for coming through the evaluation Jesus applies in Revelation 2 and 3, we say, yes indeed, they absolutely are equivalent.   Civil divorce, however,  is only equivalent to the extent that the root is equivalent to the fruit.

The attitude of evangelical churches in refusing to admit that remarriage after divorce is always biblically immoral has created an enormous obstacle over the past 40 years to driving any sort of godly family law reform that could rebalance constitutional protections between offending petitioners and non-offending, religiously objecting respondents.   The latter suffers oppressive religious discrimination in a myriad of circumstances as they are invariably punished, and made an example of,  by the courts for taking a biblical moral stand.   Pro-family, religious liberty legal ministries turn a deaf ear when embattled Christian spouses seek help in challenging the constitutionality of unilateral divorce, because these ministries don’t accept that it is morally unacceptable before God to remarry,  hence they don’t readily recognize the extent to which unilateral divorce laws burden a faithful believer’s free religious exercise and right-of-conscience.    Ideally, the government would not have any jurisdiction whatsoever over marriage, but the church would govern it righteously as Christ intended (1 Cor. 6 :1-2).    The government is an exceedingly unworthy steward of holy matrimony, and the harlot church no longer accepts her Christ-assigned accountability!

Additional resource:   Milton T. Wells, Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage  Eastern Bible Institute (1957), available through Flower Pentecostal Heritage Center, Springfield, MO   (archives@ag.org)

 

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

 

 

ONE-FLESH AND SPIRITUAL WARFARE

ValentinesBlog2015 Have a blessed Valentine’s Day, covenant marriage standers!

 

When the hour had come, He reclined at the table, and the apostles with Him.  And He said to them, “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer;  for I say to you, I shall never again eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” 17 And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He said, “Take this and share it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine from now on until the kingdom of God comes.”   And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”    And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My blood.   (Luke 22:14-20)

 

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.   If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.  (John 14:1-4)

 

He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.   This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:28-32)   “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.   For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother,  and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10: 8)

 

When Jesus shared His last intimate moments over a Passover seder meal in the upper room with His beloved disciples, He did something very symbolic–apart from washing their feet.   He spoke to them in some very intimate and familiar terms which they all would have instantly recognized, for He re-enacted the traditional Jewish betrothal [“kiddushin”] ceremony, reinforcing His role as the Bridegroom to His Church by invoking the timeless word script (bolded above) spoken by Hebrew bridegrooms for centuries, so that it would forever be “married” to the sacrament of communion He was establishing.

 

Lord, may these words this stander shares this day be only the words sent by the Holy Spirit, and may they powerfully encourage all other covenant standers on this Valentines Day.  In Jesus’ name, I pray.  Amen.

 

I was in the early months of a project assignment in London when I found out that instead of arranging his work so that he could join me there, my husband had become involved with someone who coveted my God-given helpmate assignment.  She coveted my assignment  instead of the one assigned to her,  which I later found out she had forsaken and abandoned some 20 years earlier.    The bad news of my beloved’s betrayal arrived in a credit card statement and was later confirmed by the further investigation of our adult children.

I was blessed to be in fellowship while in the UK in a small nondenominational  country village church,  a collection really, of a few very warm, large families who loved the Lord.    One day in my pew in that quaint little rock church, I was preparing to receive communion.    As the Scottish pastor richly spoke the words of Jesus from Luke 22 over the bread and the wine,  the Holy Spirit strongly impressed on me on that day nine years ago, that the communion elements corresponded perfectly to the permanent one-flesh relationship with my husband (bread) and to our indissoluable marriage covenant (wine) of which Jesus was a party.   Not only that, but because of our one-flesh relationship,  I would be taking communion for the benefit of my life partner who was now running from his once-close walk with God.   I  would be doing so until my beloved was back in fellowship with his King and could resume doing so for himself.    This was now my second stand for what was at that time a 31-year marriage.   During my first stand, 25 years earlier, the Lord did not speak this to me, because my beloved had not yet come to faith in Jesus.    We are told not to eat the bread or drink of the cup unworthily, but to do so only in self-examination and remembrance of the Bridegroom (1 Cor. 12:27).

 

Most covenant standers, we who know that the Living God permanently and uniquely inhabits our pure union with the husband or wife of our youth,  we know that the Jewish custom around betrothal [“kiddushin”] is far different from our western tradition.   We know that Mary, mother of Jesus, was legally Joseph’s wife as a result of becoming engaged to him, though they had not yet come together.    Few of us know the rich details that go into the Jewish ritual of covenant engagement, so we cannot fully appreciate the deeply significant and comforting ceremonial words that Jesus spoke in the upper room before He said, “this do in remembrance of Me”.

At the Jewish betrothal ceremony, which usually took place over a meal in the bride’s home, a marriage contract [“Ketubah”}, was presented to the father of the bride.  The Ketubah consists of all the bridegroom’s promises to his bride. The bride cherishes her Ketubah.    ( A loving sister-in-law once decoupaged our wedding invitation onto a plaque that was given to us at our wedding, which has hung on the wall of every new home of ours for forty years.)   We in the Church, too, have a Ketubah from our Bridegroom.   Our Ketubah (God’s Word) shows us all we  are entitled to as the Bride of Christ.    All, not some, but all the promises in God’s Word, are for us.   As the Bride of Christ, we are entitled to them — they are part of our Ketubah.

At this ceremony the bride was given an opportunity to accept or reject the proposal.    If she accepted, she usually remained silent    Rebekah, however, chose in faith to verbalize her desire leave her home to go with Abraham’s servant be wed to Isaac, whom she had not yet seen or spoken with (Genesis 24:58).   After the terms of the Ketubah were accepted, a cup of wine was shared to seal the marriage covenant.    In Matthew 26:29, Jesus said, “I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.”  

The bridegroom would speak the ceremonial words sealing  the covenant before the family witnesses, “I go to my father’s house to prepare a place for you.  I will not drink of this cup again until I drink it new  with  you in my father’s house”.      The cup that Jesus took at His last Passover on earth was the cup of the new marriage covenant with His Bride.   In Luke 22:20, Jesus said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is shed for you.”    The second cup of wine would be partaken many  months, perhaps a  year or more later at the wedding supper.

Once the marriage covenant was sealed, the bridegroom left his bride to return to his father’s house where he would spend a year or so preparing the living quarters for his bride before returning for her.   It was actually up to the father to decree when the quarters were acceptably complete and the bridegroom could go after his bride to bring her back for the wedding supper and consummation of the marriage.    When Jesus said that only His Father knew the day and the hour He was to return for us, He was also likening that day to the wedding day to come.   The bride, therefore, knew with certainty that her groom would be returning for her, but did not know when, so she waited in faith and in preparedness.  

 

We all know what a powerful spiritual weapon we have in the shed blood of Jesus!

Nothing is more important than family restoration, because in it is tied up our  loved ones’ very souls.   In the same way that regular ministry can’t take precedence over our families and its generations, standers ministry is no exception.   But, in Hebrews we are sternly warned that a hardened heart that won’t repent will cause us to walk away from our salvation, and in some cases, run out of time and grace.   We must never give up praying for that not to happen.   It’s on my heart every time I’m taking communion – the Lord showed me years ago that as my beloved’s ONLY covenant one-flesh, I’m taking communion with and for him while he is spiritually unable to (the unbelieving/backslidden husband is sanctified by his believing wife)! 

 

The one-flesh relationship is just as powerful as a spiritual weapon.

I also invoke this uniquely-appointed spiritual weapon against the spiritual ravager of my beloved’s soul whenever singing a praise chorus with “I” or “me” in the lyrics, but I sing “we [one flesh]” turning that chorus into a golden bowl of prayerful incense that rises to the throne of El Elyon (God Most High), and reminding all the spiritual host of God’s indissoluable covenant with my beloved and me,  as I’ve done since way back in my first stand for marriage restoration:

“Draw [us] close to You [as one flesh],  never let [us] go.   [We] lay it all down again, to hear You say that [we’re] Your friend.   This is [our] desire.  No one else will do.   ‘Cause nothing else can take Your place, to feel the warmth of Your embrace.   Help [us] find a way to bring [us] back to You [as one flesh].    You’re all [we] want.   You’re all [we’ve] ever needed.   You’re all [we] want.   Help [us] know You are near. “

 

“Take [us] by the outer court, and through the holy place   Past the brazen altar, Lord [we] long to see Your face          Pass [us] by the crowds of people and priest who sing Your praise.  Lord, [we] hunger and thirst for Your righteousness, and it’s only found in one place…. Take [us] into the Holy of Holies, take [us] in by the Blood of the Lamb [as one-flesh].   Take [us] into the Holy of Holies, take a coal, cleanse [our] lips, here [we are]. “

 

In that one act of worship, a stander is wielding at least three spiritual weapons:  praise of God, the sword of the spirit, the blood of the lamb,  and invoking the unique one-flesh relationship that sanctifies the prodigal spouse, according to God’s word.   This provision for sanctification by the indissoluable one-flesh relationship is not just for estranged spouses, but also for those intact homes where a beloved spouse is estranged from Christ because he or she has not ever come to saving faith.

 

Could this be why Satan’s deception is so strong over the apostate church which teaches in direct contradiction of God’s word, that divorce and remarriage (legalized and church-blessed adultery)  is justified due to being “unequally yoked” ? “But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.   For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.”      (1 Corinthians 7:12-14)    

 

Just as covenant marriage perfectly represents the Godhead (Father, Son, Holy Spirit / Christ, Husband, Wife), holy communion perfectly represents covenant marriage.   When Jesus took the cup and began to speak,  He deliberately chose to use the Hebrew ceremonial words for the betrothal ceremony in Luke 22:15-20.  The covenant and the one-flesh relationship.   The marriage supper of the Lamb.   I’m urging that covenant standers should never skip communion, and should never take it without a strong consciousness of the spouse of your youth, otherwise you are missing a potent and uniquely-appointed spiritual counter-attack, one that you are the only person on the face of the earth who can perform.   Grasping this truth alone would separate counterfeit , adulterous stands from authentic ones, and save a lot of “quitter’s anguish”.  

 

This revelation by the Holy Spirit instilled in me a righteous indignation at all forms of desecration of God’s definition of marriage, both the front and back ends  of Matt. 19:4-6,   and it called me to a purpose to invest my gifts in restoring His kingdom to this holy realm.  I have captured only a few elements of the rich custom that our Lord walked out as a metaphor establishing Himself as the one who prepares a place for us, and is coming for us.     This link will be helpful to standers who would like to  go  deeper in their understanding.

 

This stander is going to mark Valentine’s Day 2015 with a private communion ceremony.    Satan possibly has plans for my one-flesh to attempt to legalize his adultery that day with a hollow counterfeit, someone else’s covenant wife,  in a civil contract that will forever lack this powerful covenant blessing with the presence of El Kanna (our Jealous God).

 

Father God, in the Garden You said to our spiritual enemy: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers.   He will crush your head, and you will strike his feet.”    We thank and praise You, Lord, that it’s not the other way around!   When You formed the covenant helpmate out of the rib of her husband, You were already putting in place the divine provision for this,  and when You declared over them “no longer two but one flesh, let no man put asunder”,  You were sealing them in a spiritual weapon far greater than any carnal weapon the evil one could form against the holy covenant that stands sealed in Your shed blood.    Thank You that You are not a man that You should lie, nor a son of man that You should change your mind, but that which You promise, You, by character, are flawlessly faithful to fulfill.   May this word comfort the hearts of those who are permanently faithful to their covenant with the One who is faithful and true!   In Jesus’ name, amen.

(Scriptures in prayer:  Genesis 3:15,  Genesis 2:21-23,  Matthew 19:5-6, Isaiah 54:17, Luke 22:20, Numbers 23:19,  Revelation 19:11)

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

Deut. 24:1-4 written in STORY FORM

by Sharon Henry, guest blogger

Sharon is a Christ-follower who while not previously married, wed a divorced man whose covenant wife had divorced him and had remarried adulterously.   After 17 years, she became convicted that her civil marriage was biblically adulterous because she realized that despite the errant teaching of the contemporary evangelical church, that her husband’s original sacred matrimony covenant with God remained unbroken by anything but death.    She made the painful decision to come out of that otherwise happy marriage in 2012, releasing her civil husband back to the opportunity for reconciliation with the covenant wife of his youth as God commands.    It was a deep act of laying down her own life so that her beloved noncovenant husband might not die in the sin of remarriage adultery.  Sharon maintains, based on a corrected interpretation of scripture, that such an act of obedience is not compounding the sin as many pastors today like to counsel, but is the very essence of repentance.   (What pastor would counsel a homosexual, in light of 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, to stay in a sodomous “marriage” so as not to commit a second “sin”?) 

 Sharon has since devoted herself to a deep understanding of Hebrew and Greek scriptural translation with overlooked cultural context, and she faithfully stands with those who obey 1 Cor. 7:10-11,  encouraging them in restoration of their covenant marriages and redemption of their prodigal spouses.    She addresses one of the most commonly misapplied scriptures  that today is used by the apostate evangelical church to rationalize the continuation of noncovenant civil marriages.   She does so out of deep concern for souls.  – SIFC  FB profile 7xtjw

 

DEUTERONOMY 24:1-4 does not address a particular case, but general scenarios of Jewish husbands wanting to dispose of a fully married wife. The Hebrews learned to divorce during their 400 years in Egypt and fine-tuned it to divorce for any cause, even for falling out of love with a wife (Deut. 24:3).  God does not condone a divorce for hate or incompatibility.

 

THREE TYPES OF DIVORCES FROM UNLAWFUL MARRIAGES:

There are three types of (unlawful) marriages that are forbidden by Moses. (DABAR means commandment.)

1. DABAR, Z’NUT (playing the harlot) Deut. 22:13-22 If a betrothed wife deceives her husband and is found not to be a virgin on her wedding night, she is stoned or divorced.

2. DABAR ERVAH (incest) Deut. 24:1 Torah ervah, or doubtful ervah (if the relationship is not clear, then he may divorce her). Ervah occurs 54 times of which 31 times it refers to incest.

3. DABAR (Deut./DABARIM 7:3-4) against marrying idolatrous foreign wives (Deut. 7:3-4, 11, Ezra 10 – divorced).

 

Otherwise, if a man divorces his wife not according to these Mosaic Law, the courts would penalize him with a hefty divorce settlement to the forsaken wife.

 

Read the scenario put into story form of a man (fictitious name, but true to the text) who has second thoughts about the wife he married based on Deut. 24:1-4, Jewish marriage customs, and courts.

 

His bride, Tamar, is from a good Hebrew family, and was a virgin when Joe took her and married her. She is not that beautiful, but neither was he that handsome. She soon fell into disfavor with him and Joe decided to divorce her, but he is a young man with little money. The Court demands a costly settlement if a wife is put away for frivolous reasons and not according to the law. Joe thinks, “Which law should I use? Tamar is not a foreigner, so I can’t use that law.” He thought about bringing an evil name upon Tamar for not being a virgin, (DABAR, Z’NUT) but her parents would bring forth the token of virginity (the wedding nightgown) and he would be whipped 40 strokes save one, and fined 100 shekels of silver. This made Joe think again.

 

Maybe he could use the DABAR ERVAH law to divorce her. According to the Rabbis, “These are the forbidden unions that stem from ervah (incest), those from the Torah (Old Testament) and those from the rabbis. Those that are from the Torah, kiddushin (betrothal/marriage contract) does not take effect. Those that are from the rabbis, kiddushin does take effect and you must deliver a get (divorce). And likewise a betrothal with a doubtful ervah also needs a get (divorce).”  He researches Tamar’s genealogy and lo and behold!  His grandmother married her great uncle. Tamar’s husband now goes to the court and asks for a get (a divorce), based on a doubtful ervah, that their marriage is a possible incestuous union.  It is granted and Tamar is sent out of the house with a writ of divorcement.

 

An older man marries Tamar, now a young divorcee with no children. Perfect! Soon his heart turns away from her. She is unlucky in love. Since he is well-to-do, he can afford to pay the high divorce settlement required by the court. He pleads no law, but just pays the divorce settlement to get rid of her. Tamar’s former husband hears that she is divorced again, and in the money. He thinks, ”I need her money to start a business. I will push her buttons and win her back!”  So you may ask, “What about the incest issue and their doubtful ervah?” That doesn’t stop Joe. His greed has taken over again. He determines to remarry her, regardless whether she is a close relative or a “doubtful ervah [kin].”  Then he hears the bad news!  Deut. 24:4!  He can’t take her back! He divorced her for Incest, so she is defiled to him. He is prevented from twisting the law to fulfill his greed and ever changing heart. He is told that it is an abomination to misuse God’s laws for personal gain or for frivolous divorce!

 

Deut 24 cultural depiction

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

31 Days of Prayer for My Husband

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Revive Our Hearts / Nancy Leigh DeMoss

 

Day 1 – Lord, I pray that my husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before You. I pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines – Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2 – Lord, I pray that my husband’s relationship with You and Your Word will bear fruit in his life. I pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3 – I pray that my husband will be humble and quick to agree with You about his sin. I pray that his heart will be tender toward Your voice, oh Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4 – Dear Lord, I pray that my husband will grow in leadership skills in our relationship – protecting and providing for us. I pray that he will lead us wisely and love us sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in our marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5 – Lord, I pray that my husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. I pray that he will have a desire to cultivate a stronger relationship with me as a sign of his loyalty and commitment, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6 – Heavenly Father, I pray that my husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. I pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15, 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7 – I pray that my husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Lord, let his heart be pure and undivided in his commitment to me. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom 13:14)

Day 8 – Lord, I pray that my husband will work hard to provide for our family, to the best of his ability. I pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character – persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9 – Lord, I pray that my husband will handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. I pray that money will not become a source of discord in our family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10 – Lord, I pray my husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. I pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim.1:5,3:7; Eph.6:10-12)

Day 11 – Lord, I pray that my husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord. I pray that he will listen to You and desire to do Your will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph.1:9; 4:30)

Day 12 – Lord, I pray that my husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self-control. I pray that our sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15,18; 1 Cor. 7:3, Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13 – I pray that my husband will use practical skills to build our family and make wise decisions for our welfare. I pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14 – Lord, I pray that my husband will speak words that build up our family and reflect a heart of love. I pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15 – I pray that my husband will choose his friends wisely. Lord, I pray that You will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16 – I pray that my husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Lord, I pray that he will not give in to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17 – Lord, I pray that my husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after You and strong men in the faith. I pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18 – Lord, I pray that my husband will have an eternal perspective – living in light of eternity. I pray, Father, that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19 – Heavenly Father, I pray that my husband will be patient and a man of peace. I pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20 – God, I pray that my husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. I pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography.(Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21 – Lord, I pray that my husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with You. I pray that he will submit his schedule and finances to You! (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22 – Lord, I pray that my husband will practice forgiveness in our relationship and with others. I pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23 – I pray that my husband will be a good father – disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally. (If he is not a father, pray this. . . that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the You, Lord.) (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24 – I pray that my husband will have a balanced life – that he will balance work and play. I pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25 – Lord, I pray that my husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice and that he will stand for the truth. I pray that he will protect me and our family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26 – Lord, I pray that my husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. I pray that he will offer all his dreams to You, and pursue only those goals that will bring You glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27 – I pray that my husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body – the temple of the Holy Spirit – for the glory of God. I pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28 – I pray that my husband will be a man of prayer. Lord, I pray that he will seek and pursue You in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thes. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29 – Lord, I pray that my husband will surrender his time and talents to You. Dear Jesus, I pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in our home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4,7)

Day 30 – Lord, I pray that my husband will serve You and others with pure motives. I pray that he will obey You from his heart and glorify You in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31 – Lord, I pray that my husband will recognize the lies of the enemy in his life. I pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

No Day in Court for (Stander) “Jane Doe” – Our Story, Part 4

 

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

Proverbs 31

IlSupCtStatueby Standerinfamilycourt

The two-year ride through the Illinois family court system may be nearly over for Standerinfamilycourt,  several months ahead of our scheduled appeal docket date.    On December 2, 2014, the 2nd District Court of Appeals denied our appealed motion for anonymity to bring our religious freedom and equal protection challenge to Illinois’ unilateral divorce law, just as the trial judge had done back in August.     Our constitutional attorneys have confirmed that this denial cannot be appealed any higher.   This very important matter was firmly in God’s sovereign hands all along, and it was the subject of much prayer, both mine and that of our small band of supporters in this cause.    God’s people are right to obediently show up dressed for battle, but we must never lose sight that the battle belongs to the Lord, as does all choice of weapons and timing for the battle.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God.      –   Micah 6:8

Why was anonymity so important?   Doesn’t the public have a “right to know”?   In this case, probably so.     A consulting firm which employs an emotionally ill man in a very responsible position,  seeks new clients who will rely on this firm’s fiduciary integrity over $ million+  long-term contracts.   That firm allowed this principal to install a girlfriend under his direct supervision, and at least two blood relatives into jobs in the firm, possibly ahead of other more qualified people.   It further allowed per diem payments for lavish trips, and short-sightedly did not care that its employment policies were not only destructive to the families of its employees, but it tolerated illegal sexual harassment discriminatory to the rest of its employees in condoning and knowingly facilitating a known boss / subordinate adulterous relationship for many years.    SIFC is an employee of the sort of client who might hire such a consulting firm, and in fact, her employer is a chief competitor of this firm’s main energy industry client.   If SIFC can simply go to Bing and type in the first and last name of this regional business director who manages very important international engagements, and bring up all the sordid facts about this firm and that consultant in a published appeals case opinion that provocatively challenged the constitutionality of a long-standing state law,  she might well advise her employer to steer clear and find an alternative vendor who manages their business with far less drama.   Such is indeed the public’s right to know, and such are the facts already captured in the trial transcripts.

That said, I love my Lord who unconditionally loves both of us as one person, and I unconditionally love my life companion of more than 40 years.   I have no desire whatsoever to be out of alignment with either of them, unless my beloved is out of alignment with his Lord.   According to God’s clear word, SIFC remains the one-flesh covenant wife of this emotionally tormented man until God’s divorce parts us (God spells divorce  “D-E-A-T-H”) .   By God’s design, nothing happens to this petitioner husband of mine that does not directly happen to the one-flesh wife of his youth, regardless of anything the civil authorities will ever have to say on the matter.   Nothing happens to us as a covenant couple that does not impact the lives of everyone close to us: extended family members on both sides of the family, employers, friends and neighbors.   Which brings us to why anonymity was important in asserting this constitutional challenge in a godly way, if that indeed remains the Lord’s assignment for this time:

  • It would cover my distraught husband’s “nakedness” while he is haplessly under Satan’s control (Genesis 9:20-23)
  • It would be merciful, allowing him an avenue to return to walking with the Lord, without immense public humiliation to live down when God’s discipline eventually catches up
  • It would be equally merciful to his adulterous and extortionist partner whom the court record reflects received massive cash payments from my husband
  • It would protect innocent family members who became ensnared in my prodigal’s elaborately sinful scheming
  • It would avoid the appearance of vengeful or materialistic motives on my part in making a name for myself which would be a poor public witness for this much larger godly cause impacting our entire state, and possibly the nation

Job #1 for any Christ-follower who has been given a covenant life partner, is to unconditionally love, to fast and to  pray that partner all the way through this life and into the Kingdom of God – period.    Every other pursuit is secondary and human divorce decrees are totally irrelevant to that mission.    We will all stand before a Holy God who will ask us,  how did you steward the gifts I gave you, including the most important one, that husband or wife with whom you were joint heirs of My Kingdom and with whom you were made by ME one-flesh during your life walk?   Since we’ve been empowered by the Holy Spirit in a way that transcends time, distance and circumstances, with a holy authority that outranks civil authority, and since all of the host of heaven is fighting on the side of defending our covenant marriages,  He is not going to accept as an alibi that some civil judge, with no Kingdom authority whatsoever over what God divinely and permanently  joined,  has somehow excused me from His assignment just by writing out a sham human dissolution order that means nothing before His throne.

 

SIFC has repeatedly found throughout this legal journey that being restoration-minded, as God’s ways require, is totally incompatible with functioning under the unilateral divorce regime, even with Christian lawyers.   Even its godliest legal practitioners cannot seem to get their heads around maintaining truly biblical behavior and motivations in this profoundly wicked realm.    The very best of them truly fear what failure to submit to the thuggish web of state-sanctioned lies will do to their clients’ cases.   In this instance, my Christian attorney and his associates felt compelled to file his motion to proceed under fictitious name claiming in that document that I “feared political backlash” from those who support the continuation of no-fault grounds and who favor continuation of the tyrannical public policy banning marital fault as a basis in settling property and custody disputes,  rather than pleading the true family preservation reasons I have just stated.   I will always wonder whether the outcome might have been different if my attorney had simply filed his motion petition with the truth concerning my motives.   “She does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life.”    What if my Christian attorneys had had the integrity to truly speak for me with the mind of Christ in that legal motion?

 

I hope that sharing my learnings through this legal journey will help people understand more about what is keeping such an immoral and unconstitutional family law regime so deeply entrenched in our system of “justice”, and how very much the idolatry of doing so is costing us as a nation.      As time marches on, a  growing percentage of us have never known any other way!   Many presume that a law that has gone unchallenged for so long must be inherently right.    Indeed, it takes the lens of God’s word to truly appreciate all that’s wrong.  Many whose consciences tell them they should be challenging this immoral and unconstitutional singling out of a disfavored class of citizens, unfortunately fear men more than they fear God.     All of the powerful gatekeepers (judges, legislators and attorneys on both sides) are members of the legal community who economically benefit from it at the expense of all of the rest of society.    Goliath continues to taunt God’s people and there appears to be no champion in the land to ask His anointing on a stone and a slingshot to bring this giant down.    The expected champions, those national organizations who faithfully take on every other political threat to the traditional family and to every other form of religious freedom violation, quake in fear or denial on the sidelines when it comes to this particular Goliath.    Jesus rightly said we cannot serve God and mammon at the same time.

If I am unable to bring my case without destroying my life partner of over 40 years, how long until God raises up another David with the same reverence for holy matrimony, sufficient finances and zeal for God’s kingdom?   Under those circumstances, I have to have faith that nobody is indispensable, and I have offered my God everything I have in this effort, except the irreplaceable soul of my covenant husband which is, and which must remain, my very first priority and responsibility.

 

“Jane Doe” was not only fighting for the integrity of her own family, but for the families and for the fundamental 14th Amendment rights of all innocent contesting Respondents as a class:  Jack , Jill and Joe Doe, in bringing a constitutional challenge to a blatantly unconstitutional law.    As the politically powerful homosexual movement demonstrated over the past year, actions need to be replicated in many (perhaps not all) states for unilateral divorce in our democratic nation to fall into the dustbin of perverse human history , where it undeniably belongs.

As individual Christ-followers, we are told we must follow Jesus in emptying ourselves of our individual “rights”.  So how does this biblical wisdom “square” with asserting legal rights in the family court system as I and some other lone-wolf believers before me have sought to do?     I think it helps to take one step back from our Constitution and Bill of Rights, and hear what these documents say about all liberty and all justice being given by God as His gift and as a purposeful privilege.   Jesus said, “to whom much has been given, much is required.”   What we think of as fundamental rights can actually be revoked if abused by selfish motives, or if left unprotected through cowardice or slothfulness (i.e. prayerlessness, thanklessness and personal moral compromise) in how we defend them.     The possibility of revocation makes these things divine privileges, more so than rights with responsibilities attached, in sharp contrast to the way most of us have become accustomed to thinking of our constitutional rights.

 

As providence would have it, the day I received the notice from the Appellate Court denying our anonymity motion,  I came home to my devotion book published by Revive Our Hearts,  Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ ministry to women, True Woman Manifesto – the chapter next up was Day 11:  Selfish Insistence on Personal Rights ( is contrary to the spirit of Christ who humbled Himself, took on the form of a servant, and laid down His life for me.)   This devotion further challenged:

“Have you been acting more like a temporary servant of God or like His willing and permanent slave?”    Being honest with myself, I journaled: “the idea of being a permanent slave,  unentitled to the personal fruit of my time, treasure and talent is haunting and chilling to me.  Help me, Lord!”

On the one hand, many years of experience with the Lord has shown me He never fails to restore what the enemy has stolen, and in fact heretofore has always restored it in a multiple!   That is not the issue for me.    The issue is being willing to lay down all the research, financial sacrifice, suffering and risk to my own family, to wait and pray while God accomplishes this momentous state-wide and national task His way.   The issue is continuing to have faith while being humbled and possibly obscured for now.

This devotion reflected on the writings of Elisabeth Elliot, widow of missionary Jim Elliot, both graduates of nearby Wheaton College, who was murdered with several colleagues on the mission fields in Ecuador.    Nancy Leigh DeMoss writes:

‘What are some of the rights that as Jesus’ disciples we need to be willing to surrender?   Here’s the list that Elisabeth Elliot came up with:

  • First is the right to take revenge (Romans 12:19-20).   (if not against my husband, perhaps against the judge who brutally punished me for my convictions?)
  • The right to have a comfortable, secure home. Jesus said, “The birds of the air have nests, the foxes have holes, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head” (Luke 9:57-58). The right to have a comfortable, secure home. It’s a right we surrender to Christ.
  • The right to spend our money however we please (Matthew 6:19-21).
  • The right to hate an enemy (Matthew 5:43-48). We have to surrender that right.
  • The right to be honored and served (Mark 10:42-47).
  • The right to understand God’s plan before we obey (Hebrews 11:8).
  • The right to live life by our own rules (John 14:23-24).
  • The right to hold a grudge (Colossians 3:13).
  • The right to fit into society (Romans 12:2; Galatians 1:10).
  • The right to do whatever feels good (Galatians 5:16-17; 1 Peter 4:2).
  • The right to complain. “Ooo. I can’t have the right to complain? ” No. That’s a right you’re to give up. By the way, you find that in Philippians 2, verse 14: “Do all things without complaining or murmuring.”
  • The right to put self first. That’s the passage we’ve been looking in, Philippians 2:3-4).
  • The right to express one’s sexuality in ways that are contrary to the ways of God (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
  • The right to rebel against authority (1 Peter 2:13-15).   Acceptable to do so only where there is a clear conflict with God’s law.
  • The right to sue another believer (1 Corinthians 6:1-8).

FB profile 7xtjw (SIFC was summoned into court in this instance because as a follower of Christ she refused to sign a document that affirmed the civil charge of “irreconcilable differences” even though doing so might have protected more of our family’s [in reality, God’s] assets.)

There’s more we could say about all those, but just a sample list from God’s Word of rights that we’re asked to surrender as followers of Christ.  –  Nancy Leigh DeMoss,  www.reviveourhearts.com.

Being a student of the bible, I know it is not acceptable to God to shrink back in fear from a God-appointed battle.    I also observe from the ill-fated battles of the bible that complete obedience is required in all aspects of a God-favored battle:  timing, tools, size of army, willingness to accept seemingly impossible circumstances and trust God, instead of our own resources, to overcome unfavorable circumstances and obstacles for His glory.

2 Chronicles 14:11

Then Asa called to the Lord his God and said, “Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this vast army. Lord, you are our God; do not let mere mortals prevail against you.”

Though I was by now pleading with the Lord to write His instructions on my wall,  I still felt as though I was not getting any clear answer from Him whether to pursue or drop the appeal without the anonymity protection for our family.    I had (perhaps wrongly) treated this anonymity item as a Gideon-style “fleece”.    Was God spanking me for not having more spiritual maturity after 35 years of walking with Him, or was this His actual revelation according to that extended “fleece”?   I had no peace with either pursuing the appeal under our actual names for the sake of the people of our state and all that has been invested,  nor with dropping it for the sake of our family’s peace,  privacy and recovery.     So, I located a comprehensive study of all the biblical battles, their issues and outcomes, and I spent a couple of days studying it, hoping for more clarity.    To get inside the skin of another long-sacrificing soldier of Christ with a similarly monumental task of marshalling an army to change both internal church culture and government policy on a profoundly vital moral and human rights issue on which the future of nations turned – ending the African slave trade,  I dove into Eric Metaxas’ biography of William Wilberforce, called Amazing Grace.   Could some of Wilberforce’s processes be applicable to my approach to this hard decision, and more specifically, to my discipleship path in this?

One passage in this Wilberforce biography seemed jump out and grab me, standerinfamilycourt,  by the throat:

“And so he took stock of himself.  He well knew his mind’s natural tendency to be endlessly on a thousand subjects at once, to flit from this to that and to the next thing to no particular purpose — indeed, he called it his ‘butterfly mind’…..He knew that his world-class wit could turn into the vicious and wounding sarcasm, and that his ability to mimic others and joke and sing and generally be charming could be used to merely draw attention to himself, merely to exalt himself and to feed his personal and vain ambitions….Wilberforce alone knew how constitutionally weak he was with regard to self-discipline…”  

Ouch!   It’s encouraging to reflect that God with whom nothing shall be impossible still found a way to astoundingly use such an inherently flawed vessel!    When I went on to read about the elaborate and regimented tracking lists Wilberforce used to hold himself accountable for correcting these flaws,  I sincerely wonder if I could stay at it for long.    Is that the bottom-line cost of success in an endeavor so much bigger than can be handled in the natural?

In the meantime, some external events transpired that were very encouraging, making it very clear that others are forcefully carrying  this banner alongside me.    Our facebook community page, Unilateral Divorce is Unconstitutional has rapidly gained international followers, including a couple of like-minded U.S. state and national organizations, despite its intensely unpopular cultural message.   By the hand of God, one re-post of Dr. Albert Mohler’s  2010 blog on the hypocrisy within the church’s official position on divorce and remarriage which sharply conflicts with what Jesus taught, was directed into the strategic hands of some seminary theologians and a group of Catholics who care about this subject.    It has been re-shared 21 times in 5 days as I write this, and has had over 8,000 views, with dozens of thoughtful debate comments by important people that seemed to take on a life of its own.    Other posts are also getting large audiences and great feedback very suddenly.   I made personal connection with no-fault opposition pioneer Judith Brumbaugh, who has extended us the honor of her helpful background guidance for which we are so grateful.    Perhaps most significantly, standers from all over are beginning to message our page for prayer and guidance.

With all the praise and the thanks to God, the Illinois legislative session miraculously adjourned without passing the deplorable bill HB1452, or the ERA (equal rights amendment) bill.    Both would have been monumental threats to Illinois families.     Many prayers went up across the state for their defeat, and God was faithful.

Last month, the Catholic-leaning religious magazine First Things started an excellent debate on whether pastors should continue to sign off on civil marriage certificates, or should force a godly separation between God-joined biblical unions and the world’s severely-devalued civil constructions brought on by nearly 5 decades of destructive redefinition.    Additionally, they published the excellent article, Time to Challenge No-Fault Divorce, by Drs. Thomas F.  Farr and Hilary Towers.   The article very significantly validated what the national religious freedom legal organizations are so reluctant to acknowledge:   that divorce Respondents do suffer genuine religious persecution in the family court system, (as all perceived opponents of the sexual revolution do).   Perhaps it’s this group of Catholics through whom our post was circulated so wildly beyond our expectations this past week.   Did some influential people get a good look at our pages and think concretely about a potential alliance?   It is very comforting at a time like this and on the cusp of such a pivotal personal choice that I have to make to see God’s hand and some strong evidence that all of this is part of a larger move of God in which I may not have to be a very significant player nor the lone voice in the wilderness.    May God give me the mix of humility and ambition that is most appropriate here, since I’ve lost all hope of a “cloak”,  and only He can see the larger picture ahead.     May He direct my thoughts and my steps!

In January, the U.S. Supreme Court is reportedly going to decide whether to hear arguments in cases that upheld state constitutions in their voter-approved traditional marriage definitions coming out of the 6th Circuit which conflict with rulings in several other Federal Circuits around the country.   Some of those rulings and cases assert the fundamental right to remain married.      What  is the sustainability of unilateral divorce if the Supreme Court affirms the fundamental right to maintain civil marriage intact?     SIFC was on the Washington Mall with 10,000 other traditional marriage supporters on the chilly day in March, 2013 when the first round of marriage definition arguments were heard during the March for Marriage sponsored by the National Organization for Marriage.    No doubt there will be a similar rally organized in 2015 on the date of these new arguments.   The speeches SIFC heard that day from inner city pastors and the young adult children of divorce galvanized this stander’s resolve that unilateral divorce must be abolished.    SIFC is likely to be there again.

 

Yesterday I mailed off to the attorneys an envelope containing the case history and analysis I researched on prior constitutional challenges to no-fault divorce laws in various states since 1970,  and a glossary of legal concepts that have been impacted by very recent cases.    After much prayer I’ve come to the place where I will not feel any peace about dropping the appeal until my Christian attorneys have reviewed this work and also sought God’s direction specifically concerning the 14th Amendment equal protection and due process aspects of the case.      If our attorneys are willing, I will find the funding somehow for this round of the appeal, but if we win that, God will have to step in and provide the finances to go up against the deep state pockets we would then be facing.    If they discourage me from this aspect of the case, and I can’t find a suitable legal team,  it is unlikely I’m going to be comfortable putting my family through any further litigation rigors.    Prayer warriors reading this post, SIFC would be so grateful if you would pray for our family and our two law firms.

 

Even with dropping the appeal, the Lord will have other, slower avenues to work toward the goal of ending the tyranny in the family court system.    I am confident He is about to raise up further opportunities for challenge across the country.   Important alliances are being formed in the background, and I see SIFC’s pages as a linkage between people and needed resources in the future.    I see these pages as a continuing resource for committed Christ-followers in having the difficult conversations within their churches and denominations to begin to change the culture much the way the abolitionists slowly changed the culture in Wilberforce’s time.    Perhaps with the social media resources we now have and the Lord’s end times timeline, the process will be much more rapid.    We’ve seen the meteoric speed with which evil social change can sweep the nation in the past 5 years.    Yet the word of God says “greater is He that is in us, than he who is in the world.”

Until the hearts of the leadership of the state family policy councils and of the Christian public service legal funds change to embrace our cause legislatively and judicially,  I have a vision for starting a fund that will help people in other states in the appeal stage who have been bullied for their convictions by the family court system.       I don’t have any idea how I’m going to accomplish this just yet, but I know Who must be the Provider.     While we probably can’t afford to fund primary divorce challenges, there are some legal aid groups who may be able to fill that role, and perhaps knowing such resources may be available at the appeal stage may encourage individuals to do as I’ve done in challenging the “irreconcilable differences” civil charge in order to gain standing to bring a 14th Amendment constitutional appeal in other states.    Perhaps the presence of an appeal fund may reform the egregious behavior of the legal community including the bench.

 

Meanwhile, I challenge the state family policy councils, and indeed the many Christian denominations at headquarters level – what are you willing to do to be a godly voice on the  offensive in changing these laws?    Will you trust God enough to risk offending some donors or losing some members ?    When your next meeting comes to debate the cultural “relevance”  of your official position statements on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage, will you honor God and move back toward scriptural purity and eternal relevance?

I challenge the religious liberty legal funds whose mission statements all say they defend the “traditional family”:  same sex marriage is going to be a waning issue by next year, and there are credible reports that some of you are already feeling it in reduced coffers.    Honor the One you should  be looking to for those coffers, as well as for the tide to turn in court.    Why not look to help the millions who would be only too willing to send in their $50 in exchange for your pledge of solid commitment to this cause, rather than appeasing larger donors out of an unexamined and untested fear that they may be offended because their lifestyles may be biblically immoral.     Soon enough, everyone is going to see the obvious and unavoidable connection between unilateral divorce and same sex marriage.

 

May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.  – Ps. 90:17

Our Story:  7 Times Around the Jericho Wall – Part 1

Our Story:  7 Times Around the Jericho Wall- Part 2

Our Story:  7 Times Around the Jericho Wall- Part 3

 

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

You Asked: How Can “No-Fault” Divorce Laws be Unconstitutional?

constitution-burningReagan

by Standerinfamilycourt.com

This post goes out to Barney, who raised a very valid question last weekend on our companion facebook page:   https://www.facebook.com/nofaultequalsnoaccountability/posts/1527839317455483

Considering the current reach of our fairly new page, there must be dozens of critical thinkers like Barney out there with the same question.    SIFC is thankful for the question and the engagement,  an opportunity to contribute some expanded thought.    All great social reform conversations began exactly this way, and we of course could have just as easily been ignored, so Barney (and his silent counterparts) are sincerely a blessing.    Our legal team will, no doubt,  get the very same question from the bench next spring.     Indeed, I can quote a recent definition-of-marriage judicial  assertion very much to the point from Judge Stephen Reinhardt of the (liberal) 9th U.S. Circuit:

“If the defendants [states of Idaho and Nevada] really wished to ensure that as many children as possible had married parents, they would do well to rescind the right of no-fault divorce, or to divorce altogether.   Neither has done so.  Such reforms might face constitutional difficulties  of their own, but at least they would further the states’ asserted interest in solidifying marriage.”      

Latta v Otter,  October 7, 2014

Judge Reinhardt, we’ll notice,  stopped well short of saying that such reforms would be unconstitutional.    As the spate of 5-4  Supreme Court decisions clearly demonstrate in cases where the competing fundamental rights of the opposing parties are actually valid on both sides, these competing rights must be prioritized and  must be carefully balanced.   Brilliant legal minds can honestly disagree on the appropriate balance of fundamental rights based on their particular world view, and hopefully they are not wasting taxpayer dollars by accusing one another of misunderstanding the Constitution.

In this blog, we could paste in links to various cases, but we’ve actually done so in several earlier posts, and will be doing so in the very next planned weekly post on relevant legal definitions, so for brevity we won’t do so here.   We’ll come back later and make appropriate linkages.

The basic rule is that a law is presumed to be constitutional if it is aimed a legitimate state purpose (however ineffectively).    That is, it is deemed constitutional unless it intrinsically, or by its means of implementation, it deprives a citizen or class of citizens of one or more fundamental rights.    In one recent example, various U.S. Circuit Courts have ruled that homosexual couples legally married in one state have a fundamental right to stay married if they move to another state:

JudgeSutton

What are some other fundamental rights?    They are basically anything in the Bill of Rights, or that an authoritative ruling has established as a binding precedent: (free exercise of religion, life, defense of property,  family privacy, parental rights in the education and direction of their children, the equal right to bring a defense against a criminal or civil accusation that would strip life, liberty or property, etc.).

If it’s established that a citizen’s fundamental right is being infringed by a state law, then it is no longer good enough just to have a legitimate state purpose behind it.    In that case, the state must prove two additional things for the law to still be deemed constitutional:   (1) that the state interest is compelling, AND (2) they are implementing it by choosing among available alternatives only the means that least infringes or deprives citizens of that fundamental right.   The Supreme Court has ruled numerous times that the 14th  Amendment requires this.   Meeting both the compelling interest and the least restrictive means tests becomes very difficult for the state where there are indeed fundamental rights being intruded upon!

And how should valid but competing fundamental rights be balanced?   For example, in late term abortions, shouldn’t a 7-month pre-born child’s right to life be prioritized over the mother’s asserted  right to privacy?   Does the state truly have a compelling interest in guaranteeing the mother’s right to privacy under the 14th Amendment, to the extent that it actually supercedes another person’s right to life?

How should someone’s fundamental right to liberty and freedom of association be balanced against their innocent spouse’s right to protection of property, to defend against a civil accusation (as “irreconcilable differences” most surely is) that would strip their freedom of association (with children) or strip their property (such as their retirement funds while the other spouse has committed financial abuse in pursuing an affair)?

Many states do not allow marital fault to be considered in either dividing property or determining child custody.   What is the state’s compelling reason for this, given that a dozen or so states do take marital fault into consideration for these purposes, and given that not doing so sets an offending spouse up to actually profit from their own destructive acts against the marriage?   In fact there may be some legitimate state reasons for this,  but this surely does not offset a non-offending spouse’s fundamental right to due process over their property and parental rights!   In practice, some states may only allow the defrauded spouse to prove any financial abuse in court if they agree with the state and their petitioning spouse that a marriage is “irreconcilable”,  which may conflict with their biblical convictions, and conflict with any right a few states still give to bring evidence that irreconcilable differences do not actually exist (as in the case of an emotionally ill spouse who in reality needs treatment more than they truthfully need a divorce).   What about a discarded spouse’s right of conscience, guaranteed by the 1st Amendment and by most state constitutions, to act according to their biblical conviction if they believe and obey the truly startling and radical words of Jesus (Luke 16:18):

 Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”    

The state may have a legitimate reason for seeking to provide a low-cost exit from a marriage, but since all 50 states’ current no-fault laws infringe on the fundamental constitutional rights to stay married, and to family privacy and self-governance for both spouses and any children, what’s the compelling state reason for not having minimum requirements and evidence of professional counseling before accepting only one spouse’s opinion concluding that “all efforts to reconcile have failed”, or that “future efforts to reconcile would not be in the best interests of the family”?   What’s the compelling state interest in not considering other impacted family members’ views on their best interests?   What’s the compelling state interest in facilitating and sanctioning adultery in preference to the existing low-conflict marriage, or in shielding the offending party from incurring meaningful natural financial consequences of divorcing for selfish reasons?    Given the vast amount of damning evidence on the cost of unilateral divorce to state and local governments (hence, taxpayers) over the past 45 years, isn’t the compelling state interest actually in the opposite direction?

It’s also instructive to look at what marriage has become under the no-fault regime.   Unilateral divorce was supposed to “reduce acrimony” (although stripping all of the fundamental rights of one spouse to give blatant legal preference to the other makes it seem like the framers were smoking something),  it was supposed to “protect the children from harm in watching their parents deal with conflict” (never mind the tenfold physical and emotional abuse that is typically in store for the kids at the hands of the live-in boyfriend or girlfriend that has replaced the legitimate mother or father).    When individual sexual autonomy started to trump the compelling interests of society and the extended family as a whole, the meaning of government’s role in protecting marriage profoundly shifted.   Another recent ruling on a gay marriage case stated this point brilliantly, in SIFC’s estimation:

“One starts from the premise that governments got into the business of defining marriage, not to regulate love but to regulate sex…..one can well appreciate why the citizenry would think that a reasonable first concern of any society is the need to regulate male-female relationships and the unique procreative possibilities of them.   One way to pursue this objective is to encourage couples to enter lasting relationships through subsidies and other benefits and to discourage them from ending such relationships through these and other means.     People may not need the government’s encouragement to have sex.   And they may not need the government’s encouragement to propagate the species.  But they may well need the government’s encouragement to create and maintain stable relationships within which children may flourish.”

DeBoer v Snyder,   November 6, 2014

Judge Jeffrey Sutton,  U.S. 6th Circuit Court of Appeals

Unilateral divorce laws intrude into the integrity of the family in a tyrannical attempt to regulate mere affection.   Or, as Texas attorney Ed Truncellito describes our post-1970’s stripped-down version of matrimony in  his blog  “Why No One Is Married“:

In truth, our no-fault laws, as implemented, abolished true marriage…….Although cohabitation is handicapped in many ways, it unfortunately has one important advantage: ordinary cohabitation keeps government out of the home.    In contrast, the registered cohabitation that we still call “marriage” invokes the jurisdiction of government officers. They receive authority to manage the lives of both spouses and their children with legal force. ”  

 

So given all this, what would a constitutional no-fault law look like?

(1) Irreconcilable differences as a non evidence-based ground for divorce would be available only by mutual or cross petition — with fully agreed child and property terms, otherwise it would revert to fault-based procedure to protect the due process rights of the non-offending spouse who for moral or religious reasons does not want to end the marriage.

(What we currently have, while deceitfully called “no-fault”,  is actually forced, unilateral, guaranteed divorce that excuses and often rewards destructive behavior toward the marriage).

(2) Proof and balanced consideration of marital fault would be restored in all contested cases where property and child custody matters could not be agreed between the spouses, and would be done without intrusive and non evidence-based court assessments of when the marriage allegedly broke down.   Proof of dissipation and marital fault would be merged and would simply follow the full proven time frame(s) of the offense(s).

(3) Contested, non-mutual out-of-state and offshore divorce decrees where the grounds and agreed settlement terms do not conform with (1) above will not be honored against assets and child arrangements domiciled in the state, and in-state marital fault proceedings will be required to effect those divisions.

(4) Equal evidence parameters and time frames to bring proof of fault would be restored to both spouses by abolishing court rules and operating procedures which are currently designed to suppress evidence of fault in order to give preference to the Petitioner over the Respondent.

Will these reforms force people to stay married against their wills?   That’s an interesting question since studies show that 80% of spouses in this country are divorced against their will.    It’s also an interesting question because additional studies show a high rate of remarriage to the same first spouse after civil divorce  and even after subsequent remarriage(s).   Other studies show a 60-70% divorce rate for second and subsequent remarriages, and a 97% failure rate for any relationship begun in adultery (this may include cohabitation and marriage combined).     In practice, these reforms will more likely just even out the power balance between spouses in resolving their differences, possibly increasing the percentage of mutual petitions if honest reconciliation efforts fail.   It will certainly make non-mutual divorces more expensive in some cases.    In a rare few cases, people unhappily married to a non-offending religious objector to divorce may not be able to obtain an in-state divorce because they can’t prove serious fault where none exists.   Under the Fourteenth Amendment, that’s as it should be.

Parting wisdom from Jesus:   “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning……”

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”    – Matthew 19:10

 

Indeed.   One may freely choose their behavior,  but they should not get to also choose the consequences.

 

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt. com