Category Archives: Marriage Restoration

IT’S “ALL ABOUT” PORNEIA!

TGC1

by Standerinfamilycourt

There are some Christians who believe very vigorously that Matthew did not grant an adultery-exception for Jesus’ prohibition of divorce. Even though one would be hard pressed to find a professor teaching at a mainline seminary more strongly opposed to divorce and remarriage-after-divorce than me (not bragging, just stating it as a fact), I am apparently too soft for some. Doesn’t mean I’m right (it is the evidence that counts, not some apparent position in a self-contrived middle); just an observation.” – Dr. Robert A.J. Gagnon, 7/30/2015

 

On July 20, The Gospel Coalition published a very good piece from John Stonestreet and Sean McDowell called 6 Things Christians Can Do About Same-Sex Marriage”.   Dr. Gagnon took exception to one of their points: “We can stop implying in our words and actions that homosexual sin is worse than all other sexual sins…” which runs counter to one of the chief tenets of his writings, i.e. that homosexuality is one of the worst of all sexual sins, and (specifically) worse than adultery. Wrote the authors: “Too often, homosexuality is singled out as “what’s wrong with America” while other sexual sins get a wink and a nod. This is wrong.”

The professor responded by commenting at length on the post on TGC’s Facebook page.   It seems rare for Dr. Gagnon to comment on public Facebook pages, as opposed to private ones.   This occasion, therefore, opened up an uncommon opportunity for some marriage-permanence warriors, who agree with him in far more respects than  disagree, to politely engage him on a few points where we do disagree.   In all, four of us weighed in on that particular thread.
After a few more general exchanges with “standerinfamilycourt” and a couple of others, Sharon Henry challenged Dr. Gagnon on his favored view of the expansion of the definition of the Greek “porneia” by contemporary scholars, lexiconographers and bible translators, to include all forms of sexual immorality, and specifically adultery, (despite the Greek “moicheia” being separately mentioned by both Paul and Jesus in several scriptures alongside “porneia”).  Sharon, though certainly not as learned as the professor, has extensively studied many lexicons from over various centuries, has extensively studied Jewish betrothal and marriage custom, and has engaged other scholars and linguists in her work to harmonize Matt. 5:32 and Matt. 19:9 with the vast bulk of OT and NT scripture which those two verses seem to contradict.   That is, these verses are contradictory if they are interpreted as providing an “exception” for adultery committed after vows have been exchanged, and after God’s supernatural act of joining of a covenant bride and groom as no longer two but one-flesh, and the marriage has been consummated.

Lacking any support for such a marriage bond ever being dissoluble (by men) in the context of the direct symbolism of marriage covenant in almost every book of the bible, nor in the history of what the early church fathers, without exception, taught to the contrary–from the cross all the way up to the days of polygamous Emperor Constantine, nor in the personal integrity of 16th and 17th century “Reformers” (documented anti-Semites and on-record condoners of concurrent polygamy) who gave rise to so-called biblical grounds for civil divorce and remarriage, there are only two basic pieces of alleged evidence on which proponents of the “exception clause” can possibly attempt to hang their hat:
(1) an expansive literary and mixed-biblical usage of “porneia” that suggests it extends beyond the wedding night to adultery, incest, sodomy, and the like, and
(2) looking wistfully back at that which Jesus utterly abrogated in Matt. 5: 27-32 — to the old Mosaic accommodations of “putting away” described in Deuteronomy 22 and 24.

The exchange between the professor and  Sharon continued in fascinating range and depth from July 26 through August 5, and we believe, has been enlightening to anybody following it over those many days.   At best, however, we believe this word debate can only conclude in a “draw”, because the wisdom of man ultimately falls short of the inspiration of God.   One of Sharon’s sources in this exchange, Kyle Harper of the University of Oklahoma (Journal of Biblical Literature 131, no. 2, 2012)  suggests a similar result is all that is possible concerning the etymology of porneia.

If we deny Him, He also will deny us;
If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself

Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless and leads to the ruin of the hearers.  Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.”   –  2 Timothy 2: 13-15

 

Writing in 1957, Rev. Milton T. Wells, an Assemblies of God bible college president said of debates of this sort over word translations: Fortunately, Christ did not leave the Christian Church in ignorance respecting the meaning of His statement in Matt. 19:9, whichever reading of the original Greek one accepts. The harmony of the parallel accounts of Matt.19:1-12 and Mark 10:1-12 provides the context which clarifies the matter completely. “Etymology will kill you, but context   will save you.”  The statements of the Epistles respecting the same subject confirms the testimony of the two integrated Gospel accounts and the testimony of the early Church.” – “Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage?”, Chapter VIII– A STUDY OF THE VARIANT READING OF MATT.19:9

 

It should be noted that Dr. Gagnon is Associate Professor of New Testament at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, and a well-regarded media authority on biblical sexual ethics.   Just as he asserts, his defense of the permanence of marriage, in the sense that remarriage while a covenant spouse is still living constituted adultery in Jesus’ view, is as vigorous and firm as it can possibly be without running completely afoul of the Westminster Confession, the Calvinist-based doctrine which asserts that (in direct contradiction to Matthew 19:6, Mark 10:9, Romans 7:2 and 1 Cor. 7:39) the marriage bond can be dissolved by human action, and asserts a further “exception”, “allowing” remarriage not only due to adultery, but also due to marital abandonment.

 

Sharon, on the other hand, was formerly the non-covenant wife of another woman’s covenant husband.   The Lord began to convict her that her church-blessed civil marriage of more than 15 years, happy and prosperous in every other respect, was not lawful in God’s eyes.   Her testimony is available here.    She was grieved to learn that in God’s eyes she was an adulteress, and the adultery she was committing was against that covenant wife.   She also realized what repentance from her remarriage-adultery must entail.  To Sharon, this was no theoretical or abstract theological exercise.   In her circumstances, she needed to be certain that the word of God, rightly divided, backed up what the Holy Spirit was telling her.  So she embarked on her lengthy study for two or three years before taking civil action, and she separated from her husband within their house in the meantime.   Online resources have become increasingly available at low or no cost to the lay person with critical thinking abilities, enabling the general public to study as deeply as any seminary student might.   Indeed, at one point in her exchange with Dr. Gagnon, he remarked, “Sharon, thank you. Interacting with you has strengthened my knowledge of the meaning of porneia, reinforcing my previous position and adding more nuance to it.  But you probed harder than even most seminary students could probe and forced me to dig deeper.July 30 at 7:40pm

Sharon’s life experience, so common in this age of church / state institutionalized adultery, is only one of dozens of such testimonies available online and in our permanence-of-marriage fellowship, as the Lord is moving to cleanse and prepare His bride for His return.   Sharon has engaged other prominent scholars, such as Dr. Leslie McFall, in similar fashion on the etymology of porneia, though his views are even less  supportive  of the “Matthean exception” in the Westminster Confession than are Dr. Gagnon’s.     (Like Dr. Gagnon, Dr. McFall believes that the etymology of porneia  encompasses a range of sexual sins, but, unlike Dr. Gagnon, he does not believe this justifies the Matthean exception, nor does it justify remaining in an adulterous civil remarriage   Dr. McFall has exposed some critical evidence on page 2 of his paper [linked below] that the Greek texts transcribed by Erasmus originally stated there was no exception for porneia until he himself tampered with it – which would render this entire debate moot with regard to today’s pervasive sequential polygamy, and perhaps still valid with regard to other sexual sins that exclude, if unrepented, from heaven.)

With the utmost deference, we’d like to respond to a couple of Dr. Gagnon’s reactions, as he states them above.   We applaud while we fully agree that we would indeed be hard-pressed to find a professor teaching at a mainline seminary more strongly opposed to divorce and remarriage-after-divorce than Dr. Gagnon.   However, we find the next remark, “I am apparently too soft for some”, a bit odd.   That characterization seems to imply that we see him, or that he sees himself, as some sort of appointed arbiter of “biblical grounds”, gavel-in-hand.   On the contrary, we see him as an anointed discipler of some of this nation’s “shepherds” at a very critical point in history, exactly as Paul was, and we are puzzled why his comparison of himself with other fallible seminarians of mainline denominations is even relevant.  Is Jesus Christ not the measuring stick for truth, doctrine and conduct? If Dr. Gagnon must compare himself with a man, why would he choose these men over Paul, whose kindred passion was to teach shepherds to contend for the faith, and whose revelation came from the baptism in the Holy Spirit?   Would either Jesus or Paul even remotely agree with these mainline seminarians with whom Dr. Gagnon is comparing himself?   We think not!   Given where their Westminster Confession-based system of “sanctified” adultery has taken our society, and has seriously endangered our very democracy, we think Jesus wouldn’t flinch in calling these mainline (or evangelical) seminarians “whited sepulchres full of dead men’s bones”.

Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?
 – The Apostle Paul, 1 Cor. 1:20.

 

Lastly, we doubt we are the only Christians (though we may be the few largely Protestant Christians) who believe very vigorously that Matthew did not grant an adultery exception for Jesus’ prohibition of divorce.   Matthew, after all, was simply a scribe to a Jewish audience, and an eyewitness narrator of what Jesus taught.   He was the only one of the 12 apostles whose gospel was written primarily to Jews in their cultural context, including the marriage-related elements of Mosaic law and Hebrew betrothal custom.   He was not, however, an authority figure in the Jerusalem church who wrote separate commandments.   That role was undertaken primarily by Peter and by James, neither of whom spoke of any exception or permission to remarry.  Mark, who travelled and ministered primarily with Peter, and Luke, who was Paul’s missionary companion, both address their gospel accounts to Gentiles in their very different Greco-Roman culture.   Hence Luke’s gospel reflects strict marriage commandments from Jesus (likely taught to him by Paul) that perfectly complement what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7, once the Greek term for “bound” is correctly translated in verse 15. In similar fashion, Mark’s gospel reflects an exceptionless view of the indissolubility of what God has joined, probably taught to him by both Peter and Paul.

  • With regard to Matthew, his gospel and Mark’s together describe the scene in the house (Matthew 19:10-12; Mark 10:10-12) where the disciples are crestfallen that Jesus has just countermanded their Mosaic permission to divorce from a consummated marriage at all, (perhaps the only positive instance of marriage redefinition in all of recorded history) so that they say in effect, “well, we probably should stop getting married then!”   It does not make sense that the Jewish disciples would have had this extreme reaction if Jesus had simply affirmed the Mosaic law, or only slightly narrowed it.   What we also know is that they came out of that house, and after Pentecost some weeks later, they discipled the early church fathers who unanimously taught for four centuries that there was no exception which dissolved the marriage bond, short of physical death of one of the spouses.
  • various sources attribute some non-canonical works to Matthew, and say that he traveled to various countries as an evangelist, including Ethiopia, where he may have been martyred.   It is possible that he may have written something in those deuterocanonical works that reinforces the idea that he personally granted some exception to dissolve what God otherwise said cannot be dissolved.   However, several of the same church fathers who were very staunch expositors of the indissolubility of the marriage covenant except by death, make other mentions of Matthew and his works.   These include Origen, Ignatius and Jerome, all of whom made very forceful statements that remarriage in all cases was sequential polygamy that imperiled souls.

 

This is the truth we are trying to point the church back to, before the Lord simply abandons our society to its apostate ways in final judgment.   We feel that many Catholics would heartily agree with us in this.

 

FB profile 7xtjw Notes:   (1) Sharon Henry’s book,  JEWISH MARRIAGE, BIBLICAL DIVORCE, AND REMARRIAGE.July 2015.pdf  is  available for download.

(2) Many of Dr. Gagnon’s extensive writings are available for download on www.robgagnon.net.     His paper, “Divorce and Remarriage-After-Divorce in Jesus and Paul” is downloadable here.

(3) Dr. Leslie McFall’s definitive work on the indissolubility of the original marriage covenant, “Biblical Teaching on Divorce and Remarriage” is nearly 600 pages in length.   A link to one of his shorter pieces is provided here.

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

 

Response to TGC’s “And What About Divorce?”

 

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by Standerinfamilycourt

There are at least a couple of Calvinist / Westminster Confession- adhering groups with a prominent national “megaphone” who wish “standerinfamilycourt” would go find some other cause.   Whenever they publish a blog twisting either the context, the language translation or some other crucial aspect of rightly dividing the 4 or 5 most abused scriptures in the bible, SIFC and fellow outstanding permanence-of-marriage bloggers attempt to set the record straight on their blog page comments, where our detailed response won’t get buried under literally hundreds of Facebook comments.    We’ve been routinely censored in blog comments that fully met their posting guidelines (but politely rebutted their mis-assertions) and were typically removed — until recent days.

The blog piece by Kevin DeYoung that follows on The Gospel Coalition is from April, 2014,  pre-dates the inception of SIFC’s blog and Facebook pages by about 6 months.    Imagine our pleasant surprise to see OUR cover on the resurfacing of this blog to their FB page this week!   We have been given much favor from the Lord to be able to connect with national voices, most of whom do earnestly believe they are seeking the spirit of God in marriage matters.  We are especially blessed to do so before our first year has passed.    Our aim has always been to bridge constituencies in pro-family advocacy, as well as act as a voice of conscience to the churches who disagree with the authentically-biblical position on the permanence of marriage  (including SIFC’s own – the subject of another recent blog post on 7 Times Around the Jericho Wall).
If convictions about hypocrisy were not actually landing with these folks, it is unlikely that old blogs about it would be dusted off in this manner.   Not only are they hearing it from the pagans and angry, vulgar “page trolls”,  they are consistently hearing it from people who know their bible inside-out and who are fasting and praying for one more Great Awakening in this nation.

Kevin DeYoung begins as follows:

After last week’s post on gluttony, a host of similar comments bubbled up about divorce. Isn’t it hypocritical of Christians to protest so loudly about homosexuality when the real marital problem in our churches is divorce?

FB profile 7xtjw  SIFC:   Is the “real marital problem” in our churches truly “divorce”,  Rev. DeYoung?   A recent story in the Washington Post about the trend in marriage and divorce statistics from the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics shows a steep drop off in both, that tracks in tandem.   Presumably that trend is reflecting in the church, too, although fewer believers are probably spurning marriage as young people than in the world.    Isn’t the real problem in the church rather the encouragement of remarriage that violates the standard Jesus gave in Luke 16:18, sometimes serially?   And isn’t the root motivation for individuals divorcing in the body of Christ, stripped bare of its litany of classic excuses, really the desire to whitewash adultery through the sure anticipation of the evangelical church’s blessing on a remarriage?   (A  recent survey of evangelical church members by a national polling firm revealed that 90% of those who had been divorced said that their divorce took place following their conversion. )

As G. K. Chesterton put it, a century ago when the forces for civil family destruction were first marshalling the efforts that eventually resulted in the enactment of unilateral divorce:

“It may or may not be superstition for a man to believe he must kiss the Bible to show he is telling the truth. It is certainly the most grovelling superstition for him to believe that, if he kisses the Bible, anything he says will come true. It would surely be the blackest and most benighted Bible-worship to suggest that the mere kiss on the mere book alters the moral quality of perjury. Yet this is precisely what is implied in saying that formal re-marriage alters the moral quality of conjugal infidelity. “

Over many years debating these issues in my own denomination, I’ve often encountered the divorce retort: “It’s easy for you to pick on homosexuality because that’s the issue in your church. But you don’t follow the letter of your own law. If you did, you would be talking about divorce, since that’s the bigger problem in conservative churches.”

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  Many would say to this (perhaps a bit flippantly) that we’re not under law, we’re under grace.   Christ did indeed have a law prohibiting divorce of a covenant marriage, which Paul and the church fathers faithfully carried forward.     Divorce, unless undertaken with a motive of restitution and repentance, is only a symptom of the underlying problem.   In Matt. 5:28-30, Jesus got to the root cause: covetousness and lack of contentment which, unlike marriage, is truly genderless.

A Smokescreen
When it comes to debating homosexuality among Christians, the issue of divorce is both a smokescreen and a fire. It is a smokescreen because the two issues-divorce and homosexuality-are far from identical.

For starters, there are no groups in our denominations whose raison d’etre is the celebration of divorce. People are not advocating new policies in our churches that affirm the intrinsic goodness of divorce. Conservatives, in the culture and in the church, keep talking about homosexuality because that is the fault line right now. We’d love to talk (and do) about how to have a healthy marriage. We’d love for that matter to spend all our time talking about the glory of the Trinity, but the battle right now (at least one of them) is over homosexuality. So we cannot be silent on this issue.

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  As we pointed out above, divorce doesn’t just happen in a motivational vacuum, so perhaps the more apt comparison to homosexuality  is with legalized adultery (sequential polygamy) not with the civil pretense of dissolving what God has joined.   Making the appropriate substitution, isn’t there a group in your church tasked with affirming a hard-hearted marriage decision, and the culturally-compliant celebration of “moving on”?   (Would that group happen to go by the initials, “D.C.” or “D.R. “?)  Seems there is just such a group, actually-in quite a few churches.

Is the reason people are not advocating new policies in the church to affirm the intrinsic goodness of remarriage perhaps because that task was fully accomplished at least a generation ago?
The battle and fault line would no doubt shift immediately from homosexuality, if the pastor would suddenly obey Jesus and announce  that the church will no longer be performing weddings where one or both of the parties has an estranged living spouse, would it not?   It seems that any time someone dares to tread on anyone’s sexual autonomy, explosive things happen.    Instead, these churches are inappropriately silent on that issue of sealing the unrepentant in their legalized / sanctified adultery, even claiming with no truthful scriptural support that Jesus “allows” what He forthrightly forbade.   If the term “smokescreen” is, in this sense, a defense to the charge of hypocrisy, it is well to remember that the latter tends to be in the eye of the beholder, and is quite difficult to hide from watching pagans.   The louder the protest of the splinter, the greater the magnitude of the unremoved log.

And while we’re at it, Rev. DeYoung, is it not true that Ephesians 5:31 reminds us that the very essence of the  “glory of the Trinity” is the upholding of the sanctity of that which, reflecting that very glory, Jesus made abundantly plain is indissoluble, this side of heaven?    How can any rogue branch (or rotten trunk) of the body of Christ even think about holding forth on the glory of the Trinity when it systematically tramples under foot its most prominent symbol by solemnizing consecutive polygamy / polyandry, and even while misusing the name of the Most High to do so?

Just as importantly, the biblical prohibition against divorce explicitly allows for exceptions; the prohibition against homosexuality does not.

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  Exceptions also tend to be in the eye of the beholder.    The specific exception Matthew (alone) had in mind was for terminating the ketubah purchase agreement for the betrothed Jewish bride, who in this specific case, happened to be a bit too closely related to the groom, or had been compromised in some other way before the wedding.    This context is not discerned by a superficial  reading of the text at face value without filtering it through several of the five-C’s of hermeneutics,  in this case:

  • content (accurate  translation of key words like “porneia“),
  • context (Matt. 5  sermon on the mount abrogation of Mosaic law;  Matt. 19:9 Roman prohibition against traditional  Hebrew stoning of adulterous spouses)
  • culture (Jewish betrothal customs)
  • comparison  (for example, with Mark 10:1-12 and Luke 16:18)
  • consultation (what did the early church fathers say about an “exception”?  What did they say about the dissolubility of holy matrimony in general?)

The traditional Protestant position, as stated in the Westminster Confession of Faith for example, maintains that divorce is permissible on grounds of marital infidelity or desertion by an unbelieving spouse (WCF 24.5-6). Granted, the application of these principles is difficult and the question of remarriage after divorce gets even trickier, but almost all Protestants have always held that divorce is sometimes acceptable.

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  The Westminster Confession is the 17th century product of an Assembly of clerics and members of British Parliament to produce a doctrine based on putting the commandments of Christ to a popular vote of carnal men.     The portions that deal with marriage were greatly influenced by the apostate teachings of Catholic humanist Desiderius Erasmus.    From the moment the words crossed His lips, most human flesh has held that Christ’s law of the indissoluble marriage bond was too harsh to uphold.    Despite 400 years of uncorrupted doctrine upheld by the early church fathers, this tenet of the Protestant Church was established on a 16th century Erasmean heresy that is not supported by sound biblical scholarship.   It is for these reasons that Protestants  “have always held that divorce is sometimes acceptable”, but as Jesus told the first crop of Pharisees, “from the beginning, it was not so!”    Application of Christ’s law of marriage is quite simple, actually.

Rev. DeYoung, when you are before the bema seat of Christ,  and your works are being judged by fire, will you really be pleading to Him that you loved the Westminster Confession with all your heart, soul, mind and strength?

WontLetGo!

Simply put, homosexuality and divorce are different issues because according to the Bible and Christian tradition the former is always wrong, while the latter is not.

FB profile 7xtjw  SIFC:  Homosexuality and divorce may be “different issues” but both share the common trait of violating a non-negotiable element of God’s definition of marriage.   Homosexuality violates Matt. 19:4 / Mark 10:7.   Civil divorce and remarriage violate Matt. 19:6 / Mark 10:9.   We will concede your last point however.   According to the bible, homosexuality is indeed always wrong, but civil divorce is only not wrong when it is motivated to end an unlawful subsequent civil union, with Spirit-led repentance, restitution and restoration of the true covenant in one’s heart and mind.    Today’s Pharisees would urge that person to remain in their adultery,  at the potential expense of many souls, on the pretense that it is “extending the cycle of divorce” or is a “repeat sin”.    God is showing this to be false with each covenant family He miraculously puts back together after decades of man’s divorce, and He sometimes does it with both families that Satan attempted to use the church as his accomplices to destroy for generations to come.

Finally, the “what about divorce?” argument is not as good as it sounds because many of our churches do take divorce seriously. I realize that many churches don’t (more on that in a minute). But a lot of the same churches that speak out against homosexuality also speak out against illegitimate divorce. I’ve preached on divorce a number of times, including a sermon a few years ago entitled, “What Did Jesus Think of Divorce and Remarriage?” I’ve said more about homosexuality in the blogosphere because there’s a controversy around the issue in the culture in the wider church. But I’ve never shied away from talking about divorce. I take seriously everything the Westminster Confession of Faith says about marriage. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman (WCF 24.1). It is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord (WCF 24.3). Only adultery and willful desertion are grounds for divorce (WCF 24.6).

FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  Is the Westminster Confession inspired?   Why not preach directly from God-breathed holy scripture?    Rev. DeYoung, you say that “willful desertion” is a ground for divorce.   That’s strange, because Jesus surely didn’t say that (He said spouses joined by God can never again be two), and neither did Paul (he said a wife is dedetai
δέδεται to her husband as long as he lives) nor did Peter.   By any chance, sir, do you happen to know the difference between the Greek root words “douloo” and “deo“?   If the committee that signed off on the Westminster Confession knew this, they obviously chose to ignore it.

 

As a board of elders, we treat these matters with the seriousness they deserve. We ask new members who have been divorced to explain the nature of their divorce and (if applicable) their remarriage. This has resulted on occasion in potential new members leaving our church. Most of the discipline cases we’ve encountered as elders have been about divorce. The majority of pastoral care crises we have been involved in have dealt with failed or failing marriages. Our church, like many others, takes seriously all kinds of sins, including illegitimate divorce. We don’t always know how to handle every situation, but I can say with a completely clear conscience that we never turn a blind eye to divorce.

FB profile 7xtjw  SIFC:  Do you counsel people whose civil union does not meet Christ’s standard of Luke 16:18 to remain in their adultery?   Do you delude them that this sin is the only sin that does not require full turning away and cessation?    Do you counsel “married” homosexuals differently than “married” adulterers?    HAVE YOU KNOWINGLY SOLEMNIZED IN THE PAST YEAR A WEDDING JOINING ANY PERSON TO SOMEBODY ELSE’S SPOUSE, IN GOD’S EYES?

And Undoubtedly Some Fire
Having said all that, it’s undoubtedly the case that many evangelicals have been negligent in dealing with illegitimate divorce and remarriage. Pastors have not preached on the issue for fear of offending scores of their members. Elder boards have not practiced church discipline on those who sin in this area because, well, they don’t practice discipline for much of anything. Counselors, friends, and small groups have not gotten involved early enough to make a difference in pre-divorce situations. Christian attorneys have not thought enough about their responsibility in encouraging marital reconciliation. Church leaders have not helped their people understand God’s teaching about the sanctity of marriage, and we have not helped those already wrongly remarried to experience forgiveness for their past mistakes.

So yes, there are plank-eyed Christians among us. The evangelical church, in many places, gave up and caved in on divorce and remarriage. But the remedy to this negligence is not more negligence. The slow, painful cure is more biblical exposition, more active pastoral care, more faithful use of discipline, more word-saturated counseling, and more prayer–for illegitimate divorce, for same-sex behavior, and for all the other sins that are more easily condoned than confronted.

 FB profile 7xtjw SIFC:  “but the remedy to this negligence is not more negligence“….We agree that there’s nothing more uncomfortable than telling a non-covenant couple (particularly a couple invalidly  “married” in your own church) that their union will never be holy matrimony in God’s eyes because of the undissolved prior marriage bond indelibly recorded in the courthouse of heaven.    But the “fire” that is dreaded here still sounds like the fear of man, instead of a holy fear of a deeply-offended Sovereign!   Why is it that few recognize the judgment of that offended Sovereign that has been falling on our nation for four or five decades, and is now coming to a sodomous, polygamous, incestual and bestial crescendo?
Since it is clearly negligent to continue the practice of joining somebody’s covenant spouse to another while the rejected true spouse lives, Rev. DeYoung,   BY WHAT DATE WILL YOUR CHURCH CEASE PERFORMING THESE ADULTEROUS CEREMONIES?

What is the resemblance, Rev. DeYoung, of your church with this church?

Now while Ezra was praying and making confession, weeping and prostrating himself before the house of God, a very large assembly, men, women and children, gathered to him from Israel; for the people wept bitterly.   Shecaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, said to Ezra, “We have been unfaithful to our God and have married foreign women from the peoples of the land; yet now there is hope for Israel in spite of this.  So now let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives and their children, according to the counsel of my lord and of those who tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law. Arise! For this matter is your responsibility, but we will be with you; be courageous and act.” 

– Ezra 10:1-4, concerning the cleansing of marriage desecration the Lord required before He would restore Israel  as a sovereign nation.

 

Or with this one?

What is more astounding than the mere fact that the early Church taught and practiced the complete indissolubility of marriage for so long, is the fact that the Church chose to take its stand against the strong contemporary lax social and legal attitudes toward divorce which prevailed so universally all about them. The Church, today, feels that it is on the horns of a dilemma, because so many divorcees are coming to her for help and encouragement. Shall she accommodate the Scriptures to the apparent need of the unfortunate divorcees, or shall she uphold the Biblical standard of the indissolubility of marriage for any cause while faithfully discharging her duty to such distressed individuals?  Every church of today which considers the lowering of its divorce standards should remember that the early Church stood true to the Biblical doctrine of the indissolubility of marriage in a world that was pagan and strongly opposed to the moral and marriage standards of the New Testament. Not only did the Church maintain her stand on the indissolubility in the early centuries, she changed the attitude and standards of the whole world toward it. Even today the whole Church of Christ and the entire western world is still reaping the rich benefits of that heritage.   Shall the Christian Church of today be less courageous and faithful than the Church of the early centuries of the Christian era? Does she not under God have the same spiritual resources?

“There were other grievous social evils in the early Christian centuries. Slavery enveloped the Roman Empire of that age, yet the Christians did not set themselves to change the thinking of the masses against it, but they did set themselves to change the thinking of the masses toward marriage and divorce. Why did they not attack slavery with the same vehemence? The reason was that the Apostles had not received a “thus saith the Lord” from Christ respecting it. They had, however, received such in the doctrine of the indissolubility of marriage. No sect or school of philosophy is known to have influenced the early Church in this teaching. From whence, then, did she get the teaching? Certainly she received it from the teaching of the Gospels and from the teaching of the Apostles, who had earlier conveyed the same orally (as well as in writing) to the leaders of the early Church who succeeded them.”

–  Rev. Milton T. Wells,  “Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage?” (1957),  Chapter VIII.

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall   |   Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

 

GOD’S CHARACTER AND HIS COVENANTS

olEyesToTheHillsby Standerinfamilycourt

“These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you.   But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. ”   – John 14: 25-26

“And He teaches the humble His way.
All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth
To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies….The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him,
And He will make them know His covenant.”  – Psalm 25

 

As the anticipated day for the U.S. Supreme Court ruling approaches and we learn whether the nation’s highest judges have decided to provoke the Lord’s intensified judgment on our land by dictating that all 50 states define civil marriage to include sodomous unions,  there has been quite  a bit of false assertion among some nervous social conservative thought-leaders that adultery is somehow a lesser sin than sodomy:

Per Brian Fischer of the American Family Association in their blog called The Stand, May 19, 2015:   “Now homosexual conduct is sexual sin just as adultery is. In fact, it is a worse form of sexual sin because it deviates even further from God’s design for sexual union than adultery does.”

Does it?   So then, did God put Adam into a deep sleep, take a rib out of him, fashion his one-flesh covenant wife, bone-of-his-bones and flesh-of-his-flesh (Genesis 2), and… when he later decided she wasn’t making him “happy”, and he “deserved to be happy”,  did God put him into a deep sleep again to take another rib out of him and fashion him a bimbo on the side?    Or did God rather say, “the mouth of an adulterous woman is a deep pit.   The man who is under the Lord’s WRATH falls into it…” (Proverbs 22:18) ?   As Jesus put it, “FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO!”  (Matt. 19:8)

And Dr. Robert A. J. Gagnon of the Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, normally a sanctity-of-marriage stalwart who is generally not  prone to cultural relativism, remarked on his Facebook page last month in response to an interview with Pastor Andy Stanley concerning the embrace of homosexual practice in Stanley’s church [while taking displeasure in some rather astute Stanley banter about gay wedding cakes vs. those that celebrate adulterous remarriage]:
Yes, Jesus regarded remarriage after divorce as a form of adultery (probably a weakened form since there is no evidence that he told divorced-and-remarried persons in his audience to separate). Yet his position on remarriage after divorce is extrapolated secondarily from a foundational male-female requirement for sexual relations, which foundation is directly overturned in the acceptance of homosexual unions. Stanley is adopting an approach that an action taken in a lesser offense would apply equally to a greater offense, which is bad logic.  The closest parallel to homosexual practice in terms of severity would be a case of adult-consensual incest, not remarriage after divorce.”

 

SIFC believes is it more to the point, given the heaven-or-hell nature of both abominations, to point out in the alternative that there’s no evidence Jesus didn’t tell the woman at the well to leave her immoral cohabitation arrangement, and plenty of corroborating evidence that He did, even if this detail was not directly captured by the Apostle John in his gospel account.   Did Jesus not tell His audience in His Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5:27-32):  You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’;  but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell.

 “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” ?

Jesus persistently used the present indicative Greek verb tense when He spoke of remarriage as ongoing adultery, (as Dr. Gagnon acknowledges himself in a 2009 paper), for as long as the illicit, idolatrous  relationship persists.  How then is all of the above NOT tantamount to telling people in His audience who lived that way to leave that life of sin or be prepared for the willful eternal consequences?

Dr. Gagnon, do you truly think it’s of no significance at all that the hell-bound list of offenses in 1 Corinthians 6:9, (which the Apostle Paul tells us will never be allowed to mock a holy God), gives adultery, and indeed every other form of heterosexual sin, much higher billing over sodomy?   Is not the latter the evil spawn of the former, one to two generations later, following the Church’s widespread embrace of serial/sequential polygamy, which even characterizes the personal practices of many clergy?   Do we learn nothing at all from Ezra, chapters 9 and 10 then?

 

FB profile 7xtjw [ Dr. Gagnon responded to SIFC’s rhetorical question in another Facebook string, as follows:

In 1 Cor 6:9 Paul implicitly brings together porneia (here incest and sex with prostitutes, perhaps too fornication), adultery, and same-sex intercourse as instances of egregious sexual immorality. In 6:9-10 offenders known as pornoi head up the vice list, just as in 5:10 and 5:11. In 6:9 the word appears before “idolaters, adulterers, malakoi, and arsenokoitai.” Why isn’t the word grouped with the three other types of sexually immoral persons? The answer has to do with the fact that the incestuous man is called a pornos in 5:8 and his actions porneia in 5:1. Paul places pornoi at the head of the list, before idolaters and other sex offenders, because it is still the main subject of the discussion. In following pornoi with adulterers, malakoi, and arsenokoitai, Paul does not mean to distinguish the latter three from the rubric pornoi but rather to further specify who would be included under that rubric. The immediate context in ch. 5 (incest, called porneia in 5:1; cf. pornos in 5:8) and 6:12-20 (sex with prostitutes, called porneia in 6:13, 18; cf. porneuo in 6:18 and porne in 6:15-16) makes clear that pornoi would include at least participants in incest and men who have sex with prostitutes. The following three categories of sexual offenders simply fill out explicitly who else would be a pornos. This also explains why the vice lists in 5:10-11 employ pornoi as the sole term denoting sexual offenders; it is a general term that normally covers the sweep of sexual offenses. Similar to 1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 1:10 singles out immediately after pornoi “men who lie with males” (arsenokoitai)—not because arsenokoitai are distinct from pornoi but because arsenokoitai are a particularly egregious instance of pornoi.”

SIFC respectfully acknowledges that much of the above may be perfectly correct, but notes that no lexicon published before 1900 translated porneia  into any of the above separate sins.  Additionally, there is a remarkable similarity in comparing Jesus’ list of vices (such as Mark 7:21) with Paul’s – not much difference is to be found in the pecking order.   This is still not to say that sodomy is a lesser sin than adultery.  They clearly are of the same foundational order, and the latter exacerbates the former!]

 

We, in the growing marriage permanence movement, are standing for the divine healing of our individual relationship with our one-flesh covenant mate.   But more importantly, and of even higher priority, we stand for their healing of their own bruised relationship with the Father, following the idolatry and self-worship that always characterizes an immoral relationship which invariably usurps the place of their indissoluble marriage covenant with Him.    This is consistent with the Lord’s commandment we are given by Paul in 1 Cor. 7:11 and 39, as also universally commended by the Church Fathers of the 1st through 4th centuries, most notably and dramatically by Hermes in the early writing, The Shepherd of Hermas.   Pleading with God to snatch our backsliding loved ones from the fire, we are sensitized to the deep significance and symbolism of covenant.  We spend much time bolstering our faith against the cultural censure of virtually everyone around us by studying God’s character in His entering into various biblical covenants,  especially the exclusive one with us and the companion of our youth, as He did on our wedding day, when HE made us uniquely, irrevocably one-flesh and declared over us “they are no more two, but one flesh.  What I have joined, let NO MAN separate.”

 

The supernatural element of that joining cannot be replicated in any adulterous “marriage” because it lacks God’s participation – He is still uniquely in covenant with the rightful union and will never exit that covenant until the physical death of one of us.   Paul bluntly points out in 1 Cor. 6:15, that any man can join himself (and Christ along with him) to a prostitute or adultery partner.  However this only makes him one body with him or her in a non-transcendant way, Greek “soma” σῶμά.

Yet this can be contrasted with quite a different Greek word “sarka” σάρκα found in Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8 and Ephesians 5:31, accompanied by another Greek word synezeuxen συνέζευξεν  for “joined together” (Matthew 19:6 and 9; Mark 10:9), something supernatural that only God accomplishes during the Kingdom-lawful wedding, where there is not a prior undissolved marriage covenant, (that is, an estranged living spouse) as Jesus Himself described.    We see a third Greek  word,  proskollēthēsetai προσκολληθήσεται  meaning “to cleave together” (Mark 10:7; Ephesians 5:31)
which may be more of a process beyond the ceremony  in its future   indicative passive usage.     By way of further contrast with the illicit “joining” of 1 Cor. 6, the counterpart word for “join with” used there is κολλώμενος (kollōmenos) with a present participle tense,  middle or passive voice.   Lacking our holy God’s approval or participation, this joining is transitory and gratuitous, it is defiling of mind, body and soul even if a civil or ecclesiastical piece of paper comes to endorse it.    Unlike holy matrimony where God’s hand makes them sarx σὰρξ  mia μία (one flesh) and they are no longer two but one,  and they cannot be unjoined except by death,  the illicit joining or the unlawful marriage of serial adulterers characterized by κολλώμενος (kollōmenos) and hen ἓν sōma σῶμά , though these will create an evil soul-tie,  they not only can  be separated, they must be terminated to avoid falling away from the Lord due to idolatry and a hardened heart against God (Ezra, chapters 9 and 10; John 8:11;  1 Cor. 6:10-11; Gal. 4:30; Gal. 5:21; Gal. 6:7-8; Heb. 13:4) .


sarka_oneflesh2

(Picture by Sharon Henry)

The truth is, it is impossible to interpret any of the many scriptures on marriage, divorce or (the presumption of) remarriage correctly without thoroughly understanding the covenants God made with mankind, as well as His character in interacting with those covenants, and what, if anything, actually breaks a covenant in which He participates.  Get that foundation right, and all fallacy, though it is culturally unpopular to stand on the undiluted truth, is easily avoided.   Ignorance of covenant, or a faulty and incomplete understanding of covenant, always leads to profound violation of God’s law from error in rightly dividing His word.

The Hebrew word for covenant is berith, which according to Drs. David W. Jones and John K. Tarwater, “Are Biblical Covenants Dissoluble?  Toward a Theology of Marriage,” Reformed Perspectives Magazine, Vol. 7, No. 38,  September 18 to September 24, 2005,  the basic and original meaning was that of a legal union  which was established by a simple act of the will on the part of the more powerful party.   In a two-party dissoluble legal civil union without God’s participation, this is usually but not always the husband or dominant provider.   In a covenant marriage, which is an irrevocable three-party union, this would be God making the unilateral covenant with the two spouses whom He has supernaturally and exclusively joined as one-flesh:

Yet you ask, Why does He reject [the husbands offering]?  Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless.  Yet she IS your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows].   And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]?  Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive?  And why [did God make you two] one?  Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth.

– Malachi 2:14-15

 

GOD’S CHARACTER IN COVENANT:

“God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? “   –  Numbers 23:19

When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow!  It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.  Do not let your speech cause you to sin and do not say in the presence of the messenger of God that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry on account of your voice and destroy the work of your hands?  For in many dreams and in many words there is emptiness. Rather, fear God.”  – Ecclesiastes 5:4-7

Perhaps we “standers” are prone to assume (wrongly) that learned theologians are as keenly aware of these momentous aspects of being in covenant with God as we are; that they’d be as aware as we are of the implications that only death breaks the marriage covenant, and that God stands with us forever after a wayward spouse attempts to prolong their flight from Him by contracting a civil-only remarriage which purports to legalize their adultery through the transgressing Church’s fraudulent blessing.

We recently re-published in book series the excellent 1957 work by Rev. Milton T. Wells, “Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage?”   That faithful book of detailed hermeneutic support for the indissolubility of covenant marriage also did not address a detailed discussion of God’s character in covenant, and this is SIFC’s only complaint about that work, if one can be stated.    In general, the more an expositor understands about God’s covenant nature, the less prone they are to making the sorts of erroneous comparisons mentioned above, or of condoning a continuing state of remarriage adultery at the expense of the participants’ souls, as if God is a disinterested bystander.   Even a casual reading of Ezekiel 34 should make it clear that He is far from disinterested!

If Dr. Wells had been writing his book in 2007 instead of 1957, he might very well have made a different decision about not putting on paper what was implicitly understood in his heart as he took his lonely and courageous stand against what was deemed “the right side of history” in his day.   But then again, such a scathing, authoritative and comprehensive biblical rebuke of the then-emerging spirit that has,  in the years since the enactment of unilateral divorce, evolved into the entrenched system he never lived to see, of serial polygamy impacting some 60% of any evangelical congregation, denominational membership and pulpit.  Such a book would never have achieved, in 2007, a Foreword written by the General Superintendent of his denomination!   Indeed, in the early 2000’s, that denomination made it compulsory for their shepherds to mock God by performing adulterous weddings, where only 30 years earlier AOG by-laws removed from fellowship any of their shepherds who performed a wedding over anyone who had an estranged living spouse.

We should know that a holy, righteous God always keeps His unconditional promises, and more often than not, still patiently keeps His conditional promises for a long season when the other party fails to hold up their end (Numbers 23:19; Deuteronomy 7:9; Malachi 3:6; 2 Peter 3:8-9) .

Jones and Tarwater characterize God’s covenants (in which He unconditionally participates) by three distinctives:

(1) the language used to establish the covenant – “I will”, “I will not forget”, “remember…” , “cannot be annulled”.

(2) the manner in which established – oaths and tokens or symbols, blessings and curses,  elaborate ceremonies.

(3) His handling of covenant violations – consequences and restoration rather than dissolution or nullification.

This latter point is probably the most distinctive of any covenant in which God is a participant.   Spiritual adultery, in incident after incident, marked the entire 40-year Exodus journey, and in fact, prolonged it.   Even Moses, God’s anointed leader wasn’t immune.  There would have been no nation of Israel established if God’s covenant with Abraham or Moses had been wholly conditional.    Solomon’s physical and spiritual adultery resulted in an evil line of progeny along with his godly descendants.    Had God’s covenant with David been revocable, nullified by the generational sin of adultery running in his family, would we have been sent a Savior or ever know the comfort and counsel of the Holy Spirit?

No, instead of divorce being the penalty for breaking faith with God,  He cries out “return to Me, for I am married to you“! (Jer. 3:14)   He chastises us rather than divorce us.   Hebrews 12:7-9 says:
It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.  Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? “

 

British theologian David Pawson’s videos, “The Five Covenants of God (2009) give this kind of deep understanding of covenant.    He is one of the most prominent contemporary teachers of the biblical permanence of marriage which extends to the exclusion of non-widowed remarriage, according to the explicit and unconditional prohibition of Jesus Christ.

Rev. Pawson explains that the word “Testament” actually means “Covenant”,  and laments that the two major divisions of the Bible were not called “Old Covenant ” and “New Covenant”.    He further echoes that scripture cannot be properly interpreted without thorough understanding of the five major covenants of the Bible, and carrying forward the context into understanding passages of scripture.   He suggests that God’s covenants should in each case be studied by understanding these five crucial element of each:

  • The part(ies) with whom it is made
  • The specific promise that is made
  • Whether it is unconditional or conditional, and whether there is some expectation of God attached that is not a condition
  • The duration of the covenant
  • The purpose God gives for His making the covenant

 

1.  Noahic Covenant  (unconditional)  Gen 9: 8-17

Then God spoke to Noah and to his sons with him, saying,  “Now behold, I Myself do establish My covenant with you, and with your descendants after you;  and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the cattle, and every beast of the earth with you; of all that comes out of the ark, even every beast of the earth.   I establish My covenant with you; and all flesh shall never again be cut off by the water of the flood, neither shall there again be a flood to destroy the earth.” God said, “This is the sign of the covenant which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all successive generations;  I set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth.  It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud, and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.”  And God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth.”

  • Made with: all mankind
  • Unconditional
  • Promised:  seasons, sun, rain, and food (plants and animals); never destroy all of mankind and creatures again
  • Duration: for as long as the earth remains
  • Purpose:  that He would once again have a large human family

Expectation:  HONOR LIFE (not a condition)

Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. …. Every moving thing that is alive shall be food for you; I give all to you, as I gave the green plant.  Only you shall not eat flesh with its life, that is, its blood. Surely I will require your lifeblood; from every beast I will require it. And from every man, from every man’s brother I will require the life of man….Whoever sheds man’s blood, By man his blood shall be shed,  For in the image of God
He made man.   “As for you, be fruitful and multiply;
Populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it.”

God always “marries” us, and provides the symbol or token thereof.    In this case, the sign or token of His covenant, His “wedding ring” was the rainbow, by which He said He’d remember His vow when men became wayward again and not destroy all of mankind with water ever again.    As what Jesus described in Matthew 24 with the “days of Noah” re-manifesting, is it any coincidence or just a strange irony that He looks down today on His mockers who drape themselves in a so-desecrated U.S. flag? Therein is the reason why God only created marriage, why He did not create or ever condone dissolution of marriage (as opposed to a finite season of separation with reconciliation), and why He deems remarriage while a spouse lives to always be adultery.

Result:  God has unconditionally kept this promise even though men have repeatedly failed to honor life in their national laws and individually.

 

2. Abrahamic Covenant (unconditional & partially conditional)    Genesis 12:1-3;  Genesis 15:6-11,18; Genesis 17:4-8

Go forth from your country,
And from your relatives
And from your father’s house,
To the land which I will show you;
 And I will make you a great nation,
And I will bless you,
And make your name great;
And so you shall be a blessing;
And I will bless those who bless you,
And the one who curses you I will curse.
And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed….

Now look toward the heavens, and count the stars, if you are able to count them.” And He said to him, “So shall your descendants be.”   Then he believed in the Lord; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness.   And He said to him, “I am the Lord who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans, to give you this land to possess it. ”  He said, “O Lord God, how may I know that I will possess it?”  So He said to him, “Bring Me a three year old heifer, and a three year old female goat, and a three year old ram, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon.”  Then he brought all these to Him and cut them in two, and laid each half opposite the other; but he did not cut the birds….  On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram, saying,

“To your descendants I have given this land,
From the river of Egypt as far as the great river, the river Euphrates….”

As for Me, behold, My covenant is with you,
And you will be the father of a multitude of nations.
 “No longer shall your name be called Abram,
But your name shall be Abraham;
For I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.

 I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and I will make nations of you, and kings will come forth from you.  I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you.  I will give to you and to your descendants after you, the land of your sojournings, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.”

  • Made with: all Abraham & descendants; all other nations
  • Unconditional and conditional elements
  • Promised:  land and descendents;  bless those who bless his family; curse those who curse his family
  • Duration: Forever
  • Purpose:  Establish the nation of Israel; establish ownership of the land

Expectation:  faith in God’s future delivery of ownership (not in his life or next several  generations); circumcision as a mark of family identity

God married into Abraham’s family by taking the name “the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”

Result:  God has repeatedly and dramatically kept this covenant regardless of Israel’s seasons of idolatry and even her apostasy, restoring Israel twice as a nation after long seasons of exile, and dealing forcefully with her many enemies, even in contemporary times.

 

3. Mosaic Covenant   Exodus 19:5-6;  Exodus 20:1-17; 23:22-33

“”Now then, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be My own possession among all the peoples, for all the earth is Mine; and you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words that you shall speak to the sons of Israel.”

I am the Lord your God,who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house ofslavery.

 “You shall have no other gods before Me.

 “You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth.  You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain.

 “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant or your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you.   For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and made it holy.

 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

“You shall not murder.

“You shall not commit adultery.

 “You shall not steal.

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

But if you truly obey his voice and do all that I say, then I will be an enemy to your enemies and an adversary to your adversaries.  For My angel will go before you and bring you in to the land of the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Canaanites, the Hivites and the Jebusites; and I will completely destroy them.  You shall not worship their gods, nor serve them, nor do according to their deeds; but you shall utterly overthrow them and break their sacred pillars in pieces.  But you shall serve the Lord your God, and He will bless your bread and your water; and I will remove sickness from your midst.  There shall be no one miscarrying or barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.   I will send My terror ahead of you, and throw into confusion all the people among whom you come, and I will make all your enemies turn their backs to you. 28 I will send hornets ahead of you so that they will drive out the Hivites, the Canaanites, and the Hittites before you.   I will not drive them out before you in a single year, that the land may not become desolate and the beasts of the field become too numerous for you.  I will drive them out before you little by little, until you become fruitful and take possession of the land.  I will fix your boundary from the Red Sea to the sea of the Philistines, and from the wilderness to the River Euphrates; for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand, and you will drive them out before you. You shall make no covenant with them or with their gods. They shall not live in your land, because they will make you sin against Me; for if you serve their gods, it will surely be a snare to you.”

  • Made with:  Moses and the nation of Israel
  • Conditional – based on 613 laws & Ten Commandments
  • Promised:  Prosperity and security if they obey God’s laws; exile and adversity if not
  • Duration: Until the Messiah and the New Covenant
  • Purpose:  Occupy the land and build the nation; destroy pagan nations

Expectation:  Atone for breach of the law by animal and other sacrifices in the temple.

The sign or token in this case was the stone tablets on which God wrote the law that would sanctify His people, and the Ark of the Covenant in which they travelled and rested.

Result:  God delivered on the positive and negative promises according to Israel’s obedience or disobedience until He sent His son.   After Jesus went to the cross, this Old Covenant was replaced (superceded) with the New (Messianic) Covenant.

 

4. Davidic Covenant   2 Sam. 7;  2 Chronicles 13:1-18

The Lord also declares to you that the Lord will make a house for you. 12 When your days are complete and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your descendant after you, who will come forth from you, and I will establish his kingdom. 13 He shall build a house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. 14 I will be a father to him and he will be a son to Me; when he commits iniquity, I will correct him with the rod of men and the strokes of the sons of men, 15 but My lovingkindness shall not depart from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. 16 Your house and your kingdom shall endure before Me forever; your throne shall be established forever.”

 

“Now there was war between Abijah and Jeroboam. Abijah began the battle with an army of valiant warriors, 400,000 chosen men, while Jeroboam drew up in battle formation against him with 800,000 chosen men who were valiant warriors.  Then Abijah stood on Mount Zemaraim, which is in the hill country of Ephraim, and said, “Listen to me, Jeroboam and all Israel: Do you not know that the Lord God of Israel gave the rule over Israel forever to David and his sons by a covenant of salt?”

 

  • Made with:  Israel and the lineage of David; all mankind with regard to Christ’s kingdom
  • Unconditional
  • Promised:  The King of Kings will come from David’s lineage and reign forever
  • Duration: Forever
  • Purpose:  Set up Christ’s ultimate rule and reign over the earth and all nature and mankind

We learn years after David’s death that the symbol for this covenant was salt (2 Chronicles 13:5), similar to the covenant of salt God made with the Levites (Numbers 18:19) to forever provide for them though they would not have an allotment of land.   Salt is symbolic as a preservative, just as true, non-adulterous covenant marriage is a preservative in society at-large, and the line of David would one day bring forth Jesus who would perfect and secure for our ability to become that preservative by the Holy Spirit He sent after Him.    Our covenant marriage does not need to remain civilly intact in order to have an even stronger preservative effect in an immoral and rebellious society, precisely because it remains intact and indissoluble in the kingdom of God.   Sometimes a whisper is heard loudest among the shouts of evil, as salty disciples stand in covenant with God in transcendence of the immoral pronouncements of unrighteous magistrates and apostate shepherds.   Many who have done so can testify that civil rightness can be restored overnight after decades of Satan having his evil way, because God is universally faithful to all of His covenants, even when we fallible humans are not.

Result:  Jesus was born out of the lineage of David, as promised, despite much of that lineage being corrupt and unfaithful.   Many subsequent prophecies of His birth, life and ministries came to pass, while we see signs almost daily that the remainder are coming to pass.

 

5. Messianic Covenant    Jeremiah 31:31-33; Isaiah 9:6-7, 53:4-12; Ezekiel 36:22-36; Hebrews 8:13

“Behold, days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah, not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord.   “But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the Lord, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.   They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the Lord, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” ….. 

Jeremiah’s prophecy reflects the promise portion of the New Covenant, which replaces the Mosaic Covenant’s 613 regulations.   In their place, God’s law will be internal rather than external; written on our hearts so that we want to honor Him and keep His law.   He also promised intimacy with Him, and direct access to us as individuals into His presence.   This portion of the covenant is also said to represent the action of the FATHER  in the holy trinity.   The unconditional nature of this covenant also emerges in Jeremiah 3, where Israel’s rebellion and spiritual adultery causes Him to separate from her for a while, but in Jeremiah 3:14, He says  “return to Me, for I am married to you.”   Indeed, the gist of the Messianic Covenant is the re-establishment and restoration of Israel after she rejected His Son.

 

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.
There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace,
On the throne of David and over his kingdom,
To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness….

For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot,
And like a root out of parched ground;
He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him.
He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
And like one from whom men hide their face
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
 But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.
 All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all
To fall on Him.

He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth.
By oppression and judgment He was taken away;
And as for His generation, who considered
That He was cut off out of the land of the living
For the transgression of my people, to whom the stroke was due?
His grave was assigned with wicked men,
Yet He was with a rich man in His death,
Because He had done no violence,
Nor was there any deceit in His mouth.

10 But the Lord was pleased
To crush Him, putting Him to grief;
If He would render Himself as a guilt offering,
He will see His offspring,
He will prolong His days,
And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand.
11 As a result of the anguish of His soul,
He will see it and be satisfied;
By His knowledge the Righteous One,
My Servant, will justify the many,
As He will bear their iniquities.
  Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great,
And He will divide the booty with the strong;
Because He poured out Himself to death,
And was numbered with the transgressors;
Yet He Himself bore the sin of many,
And interceded for the transgressors.

Isaiah’s prophecy also forms a part of the Messianic Covenant, focusing on the SON in the holy trinity, promising us both a suffering servant and a reigning, eternal King.

 

Therefore say to the house of Israel, ‘Thus says the Lord God, “It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for My holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you went. 23 I will vindicate the holiness of My great name which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord,” declares the Lord God, “when I prove Myself holy among you in their sight. 24 For I will take you from the nations, gather you from all the lands and bring you into your own land. 25 Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. 26 Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. 28 You will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God. 29 Moreover, I will save you from all your uncleanness; and I will call for the grain and multiply it, and I will not bring a famine on you. 30 I will multiply the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field, so that you will not receive again the disgrace of famine among the nations. 31 Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and your abominations. 32 I am not doing this for your sake,” declares the Lord God, “let it be known to you. Be ashamed and confounded for your ways, O house of Israel!”

33 ‘Thus says the Lord God, “On the day that I cleanse you from all your iniquities, I will cause the cities to be inhabited, and the waste places will be rebuilt. 34 The desolate land will be cultivated instead of being a desolation in the sight of everyone who passes by. 35 They will say, ‘This desolate land has become like the garden of Eden; and the waste, desolate and ruined cities are fortified and inhabited.’ 36 Then the nations that are left round about you will know that I, the Lord, have rebuilt the ruined places and planted that which was desolate; I, the Lord, have spoken and will do it.”

 

Ezekiel’s prophecies reveal the means the Lord intended to use to bring about His Kingdom in regenerated hearts by sending the HOLY SPIRIT and sealing individuals with Him.    This completes the symbolic trinity embedded within this last of the major covenants.

 

  • Made with: all mankind and the nation of Israel
  • Unconditional toward mankind and Israel, and conditional upon appropriation by the individual
  • Promised:  Replacement of the Mosaic Covenant; the sacrifice of His Son for the sins of all; God’s law written on our hearts; the comfort of the Holy Spirit to guide individuals
  • Duration: Forever
  • Purpose: Redeem mankind to Himself and reverse the curse of Adam

The Messianic Covenant supercedes the Mosaic Covenant for all those who individually appropriate it, and the conditional Mosaic Covenant now fails for all those who do not.  This mostly conditional covenant is the only example to be found of a covenant of God that is no longer in full force:

“When God speaks of a new [covenant or agreement], He makes the first one obsolete (out of use). And what is obsolete (out of use and annulled because of age) is ripe for disappearance and to be dispensed with altogether.”    Hebrews 8:13 (AMP)

Many who deeply misunderstand God’s character in covenant would brazenly misapply this last passage to serial adulterous re-“marriages” in our evil day of unilateral divorce, but we must ask ourselves, did God not already speak (Matt. 19:5-6; Mark 10:8-9)?    Who, then, is actually speaking in this case?   Is not the clergyman who vainly pronounces holy matrimony over an adulterous union actually violating the third commandment and taking the Lord’s name in vain?

 

The symbol of the Messianic covenant is, of course, the cross, but also the empty tomb.   However, a very important covenant symbol must not be overlooked:  Jesus ceremoniously and symbolically stepped through the entire traditional kiddushin during the last supper in the upper room just before his betrayal and arrest, the culturally-distinctive Hebrew betrothal ceremony by which brides were deemed to be legally married to their Hebrew husbands, typically a year before consummation of the marriage.    This became the basis of the sacrament of communion, and it set up for the marriage supper of the Lamb to come in heaven – yet another symbolic covenant.

God’s covenants are always highly symbolic.   An important facet of God’s character is that He jealously guards His symbols.   Defilement of His symbols, according to several biblical accounts, always yields seemingly disproportionate consequences.    Here are just three randomly-selected instances where God showed extreme jealousy for what men might see as “minor” compromises of His covenant symbols:

(1) Moses struck the rock (Numbers 20:8-12) instead of speaking to it to bring forth water as instructed.    This disobedience cost Moses his opportunity to enter the promised land.   It turns out the rock was symbolic of Jesus Himself.

(2) Priests touched the Ark of the Covenant, containing the very symbol of the Mosaic covenant, when it started to fall from the cart it was being carried on, dying instantly.   Priests had been warned to only carry it by the poles that fit the rings in its side.  (1 Chronicles 13:9-10).

(3) Two rulers (Saul and Uzziah) were rebuked for offering sacrifices or burning incense in place of the priests, violating the inner temple which was of symbolic construction, and also violating the covenant of salt God had made with the Levites to whom He appointed this task.   The penalty for this in Saul’s case was loss of his kingdom to his entire line (perhaps symbolic for not inheriting the kingdom of God), and instant leprosy in Uzziah’s case, which effectively ended his kingship in several actual and symbolic ways. (1 Samuel 13; 2 Chronicles 26)

Jesus is not only the suffering Servant, reigning King, and the Messiah.  He is, from Matthew to Revelation, the faithful and true Bridegroom!

In all, Jones and Tarwater catalogue a total 267 Old Testament covenants (“I will”) and 34 New Testament covenants, finding none that were of an unconditional nature that ever failed to be kept by God unconditionally.    Their work also explores, and convincingly refutes, the work of other scholars who have sought to argue otherwise, such as Andreas Kostenberger, William Heth, and Gordon Hugenberger.

SH_276OTCovenants

(Picture by Sharon Henry)

With the immoral civil laws of men that presumed to eviscerate the permanence element of Christ’s law of covenant marriage (Matt. 19:6), now poised to adjudicate away the other non-negotiable element, complementarity (Matt. 19:4), we find ourselves arriving where Jesus foretold we would be as a result of our societal covenant violations:

“Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold.  But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved....For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah.   For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark,  and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the coming of the Son of Man be.  Then there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left.   Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one will be left.” Matthew 24: 12-13,37-41

 

Indeed, none of this is taking the Omniscient One by surprise, and neither has He failed to make divine, advance preparation for it in the very design of the supernatural joining in marriage.   One-flesh is unique and has no  counterfeit because it has a divine purpose “for such a time as this”.

Solomon wrote: “ Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up”.   – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Paul reassured and inspired with his timely words:  “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. ”  – 1 Cor. 7:14

And with these: “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.  We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ….”  – 2 Cor. 10:3-5

To be sure, there were earlier lawless days, such as in the Eastern Roman Empire, where God’s design for marriage was nearly expunged through enactment of unilateral civil divorce, but God’s rescue came through historical events that brought down those wicked principalities before homosexual desecration of marriage could gain a foothold.    Arguably, these days are more evil than those because now homosexualism has gained the upper hand, with the solid bedrock of marital permanence once again civilly expunged, and more families fragmented than not, as a result.   Could God have foreseen the massive need for a spiritual weapon that is unique to divinely-joined couples, when He said “they are no longer two but one flesh?”

Since He looks on two whom He has divinely and irrevocably joined supernaturally with His own hands, and only sees one person–with whom He remains in covenant, may a wife supernaturally continue in her role as helpmate without her husband’s actual presence, and fill a role that his adultery partner, even with a replacement civil marriage license can never fulfill for him?    Can a husband take communion for his born-again, but apostate, covenant wife due to this act fulfilling, to the best of his circumstances, his continuing role before God to be spiritually accountable for his family?  Is the bread not also emblematic of the one-flesh entity He joined, partaking together?  Is the cup not the symbol of the same marriage covenant?  Is not such an implement of spiritual warfare especially fitted to this evil day?

According to Dr. Tony Evans, covenant is important to prayer used in spiritual warfare as well.   As he states in the book Kingdom Woman (page 120),

“See there is more that can get God’s attention than His relationship with you, His compassion toward you, or even the sake of His name.  As a child of the King, you have fallen heir to “legal rights.”  These “rights” exist because of the new covenant that you came into when you trusted Jesus Christ for your salvation.  The issue that you may be facing or struggling with today may be an issue of the covenant.  If it is, you are free to appeal to God”….[speaking of the widow and the unrighteous judge]…”The judge’s reputation was at stake, since he was not upholding the law, and ultimately was obligated to the law.  God is a God of covenant.  He is also a God of His word.  He has obligated Himself to His own Word.   He has tied His name and reputation to what He has said…”

This sums up well God’s character in covenant, and the power of this truth as a weapon of spiritual warfare against a serpent who will never cease the vain attempts to make one-flesh two again.

SIFC began this blog by pointing out that some in kingdom of God may love the Lord, but lack a Spirit-breathed full grasp of His character in covenant.  When that happens, the world seeps in, a world that hates the idea of marriage permanence, and a church that misconstrues repentance from adulterous unions ( when dressed up in a marriage license) as “repeat sin”,  while it hypocritically will not desist from solemnizing unions that Jesus unambiguously called adulterous.    Those who rightly divide God’s word on a technical basis, and agree (in principle) that these remarriages are adultery as Jesus said they are, still need the prayers of standers that the Holy Spirit will write “covenant” on their hearts.

“But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.”

1 Cor. 2:14-16

 

BIOGRAPHIES OF CONTRIBUTORS:


John K. Tarwater is the Director of Student Life and a Professor of Ethics and Church History. He received a Ph.D. in Theology from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Some of his works are featured in Reformed Perspectives, Southwestern Journal of Theology, and World Mission Journal. Dr. Tarwater is a member of the Evangelical Theological Society, Society of Biblical Literature, and the Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity.

David W. Jones is a professor and author working in the field of Christian ethics. Dr. Jones is currently serving as Professor of Christian Ethics, Associate Dean for Graduate Program Administration, and Director of the Th.M. program at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary (Wake Forest, NC) where he has been teaching since 2001. Dr. Jones holds a B.S. in pastoral ministries, an M.Div. in pastoral ministry, and a Ph.D. in theological studies with an emphasis in Christian ethics. Dr. Jones’ scholarly interests include biblical ethics, material stewardship (including financial ethics, environmental ethics, and related issues), and topics related to marriage and family life. Dr. Jones serves as a Fellow at the L. Russ Bush Center for Faith & Culture, and is a Research Fellow at the SBC Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission.

Rev. J. David Pawson  is a British theologian and apologist.  B.Sc. in  Agriculture, Durham University, M.A. Theology, Wesley House, Cambridge University.  Served in the Royal Air Force as a chaplain.   Author several books on various Christian living topics.

 

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

 

Rebuttal to ERLC: “IS DIVORCE EQUIVALENT TO HOMOSEXUALITY?”

by “standerinfamilycourt”

“standerinfamilycourt” responds to a blog dated September 24, 2014 by Dr. Russell D. Moore, President of the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention (ERLC) safe_image (2)

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.”     1 Corinthians 6:9-10

‘If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.”  Luke 14:26

 

In the fall of 2014, Dr. Moore and the Southern Baptists, and separately, the Roman Catholic Church held conferences on the future of the traditional family and “inclusiveness” issues in the Church.    Following this, we started hearing a lot from the Catholics about how remarried divorced people should be made to  feel “better- included” in their church life.    It seems neither church was talking much about holiness, true repentance,  or pleasing the Lord.   The Catholics may need to watch who they seek to emulate, and retain their own saltiness, rather than seeking to stem the loss of divorced members, at all costs, to permissive Protestant churches.    Dr. Moore’s blog is from this conference time frame.

 

We shall start with the title to Dr. Moore’s blog, because the obfuscation of the biblical truth actually begins right there.   “Is Divorce Equivalent to Homosexuality?    The answer is “yes” and “no”.    In the first place, the manmade concept of legalized civil divorce has absolutely no meaning in God’s eyes.   Divorce’s impact in the Kingdom of God depends on its motivation.   If civilly divorcing the partner of one’s youth,  it is willful rebellion against God’s law.   If civilly divorcing someone in order to separate from an immoral subsequent union,  it is  a step in repentance, restitution and surrender to God’s law.   Either way, God is standing firmly in covenant with the original one-flesh union, which He exclusively and permanently  joined at the time of those holy vows.

BiblicalGroundsNot

We need to point out that Dr. Moore’s view is based on an explicit presumption that Jesus supported adultery as grounds for His disciples to both divorce and remarry, based on a phrase in Matthew 19:9.    Moore presumes no debate on this point, and because this view is so broadly accepted by the vast majority of the evangelical Protestant Church, he offers no biblical defense of it  in this piece.    We will therefore not lengthen our response by addressing something Moore did not argue, except to point out the significant conflict with the preponderance of other marriage scripture and church history.   All of the early church fathers of the Rome-based church up through the 4th century (Tertullian, Origen, Jerome, Eusebius, Justin Martyr, Basil, Augustine) as well as Paul, instead centered the adultery discussion around the exceptionless pronouncement of Jesus in Luke 16:18 strictly forbidding both, consistent also with the tone of Christ’s Sermon on the Mount which raised the moral bar for a wide swath of Jewish life-conduct.   Marriage revisionists, beginning with clerics in the Emperor Constantine’s court, later persisted in shifting the debate to instead focus on Matthew 19:9 in order to accommodate Constantine’s ongoing adultery / polygamy, and this trend carried forward beyond the Reformation.    Dr. Moore assumes that some of the subsequent unions Jesus said were adultery, are not sinful and not adultery based on this revisionist view.

Nevertheless, God uses the Hebrew word   שָׂנֵ֣א [sa-ne] in Malachi 2:16 for detesting and intense hatred of the “putting away”- the wrongful repudiation or abandonment – שַׁלַּ֗ח [shalach] , literally “sending away”, which He states is an act of violence against one’s family.    Notice that there is no mention in Malachi of  any civil piece of paper nor an allowance granted by Moses to divorce,  many centuries after the journey through the wilderness.    Contrary to the false direction of Luther, God never intended for adjudication of covenant marriage to be a permanent matter of civil government ( 1 Cor. 6:1).

All that said, civil divorce is an easily reversible one-time event that (in isolation) is not at all comparable to the two ongoing states of sin entailed in homosexuality or unrepented, continuing adultery via remarriage while an estranged covenant spouse is living.   Marriage revisionists have grown quite accustomed to arguing (straight-faced) that the first abomination automatically confers God’s permission for the far worse abomination of trampling His holy matrimony covenant and misrepresenting His very character to the watching world.    We all know that the pagans know a bit of scripture, too, and of late they’ve grown quite vocal in letting us all know they are watching.

So, let’s suggest a more forthright title to Dr. Moore’s blog:   “Is  Legalized, Unrepented  Adultery Equivalent to Homosexuality?”   Based on the two scriptures quoted above, we can respond to the honestly-restated question, which now reflects the main issue of consequence before the eyes of God, with a well-supported and unequivocal “Yes”.     Continuing, unrepented practice of both adultery and homosexuality are God-substitutes of equal degree: idols.   Consequently, as long as either of these relationships continue, they continue in idolatrous competition with any relationship or fellowship with God.   Neither is worse than the other, both must be repented in exactly the same way.   Neither can be cleansed in any way other than cessation and permanent severance.  

1 Corinthians 6:11 goes on to say:

“Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”     (An exchange was made, idolatry was laid down for genuine  fellowship with the Most High.)

Dr. Moore opens his piece as follows:

This week my denomination, through its executive committee, voted to “disfellowship” a congregation in California that has acted to affirm same-sex sexual relationships. This sad but necessary move is hardly surprising, since this network of churches shares a Christian sexual ethic with all orthodox Christians of every denomination for 2,000 years. One of the arguments made by some, though, is that this is hypocritical since so many ministers in our tradition marry people who have been previously divorced.

In fact, “SIFC’s”  own large, conservative evangelical denomination did likewise up until 1973 with any pastor who performed a wedding ceremony where either the bride or the groom had an estranged living spouse.    The reason for that is, quite simply, a holy reverence for God’s unconditional participation in the indissoluble marriage covenant, which the bible teaches is a supernatural 3-party entity that scripture also tells us is broken only by the physical death of one of the spouses. (Ephesians 5:29-32, Romans 7:2, and 1 Cor. 7:39).    Ministers in the evangelical tradition who perform vain marriage ceremonies over people who have been previously divorced civilly, (but still bound spiritually to their 3-party original covenant), are jeopardizing their salvation and aiming two souls, if not their own, towards hell.   They are also destroying the power and witness of their church, for He is a jealous God.   He is a God who is most especially jealous of His symbols and the image they cast, of which biblical marriage is paramount.

Dr. Moore arrives at an entirely different conclusion, one that demands physical repentance only of homosexuality (even if legalized), but gives full accommodation to the continuance of adultery if it has been legalized.   “Grace” he says, is owed to the adulterer, but not to the homosexual, unless (only) their immoral and idolatrous relationship is terminated.    Let’s address the misuse of the concept of grace momentarily, but first let’s gain a proper understanding of the marriage covenant, what breaks it, and God’s revealed character toward it.   Once this is correctly understood according to the word of God, all of the rest of the fallacies laid out by Dr. Moore have proper context.

Covenant is a very deliberate choice, and by God’s very nature, a permanent choice.  Throughout His three-year public ministry Jesus very deliberately walked around announcing to us that He is our Bridegroom, and that He will never leave or forsake us, that He was going to lay down His life for us, that He was going to be spiritually responsible for us, even allowing God to punish Him for our transgressions by allowing God to break fellowship with Him, His only Son, for those agonizing moments on the cross.    His first miracle was by no accident performed at that wedding in Cana when He turned water into wine – not just a beverage, but symbolic of His blood and of covenant, of the indwelling Holy Spirit Who cannot abide in a sinful vessel .   He told us that nobody can contain new wine in old Pharisaical (Deuteronomy 24) wineskins.   At His last meal on earth before going to the cross, He very deliberately recited nearly all the traditional vows of the Jewish betrothal ceremony in order to comfort His disciples and to institute Holy Communion.   When He spoke His Revelation to the Apostle John, He again spoke of His wedding supper, the consummation event.

Ephesians chapter 5 gives us a definite glimpse that the marriage of our youth goes far beyond the civil certificate, and would permanently exist even without it.   True marriage represents the oneness of the Godhead, also the relationship between Christ and the Church, whom He will never permanently send away and never replace.    To blasphemously suggest that God would break covenant, and betray a living covenant spouse to join into an adulterous union suggests that He would allow His Own holiness to be defiled, and His faithfulness to be miscast as unfaithfulness.    In Malachi 2, when God is fiercely defending the covenant wife of the offender’s youth by withholding His fellowship from the adulterer, He could have referred to Himself as “YHWH” or “Jehovah”, but He did not.   He called Himself Elohim Tsebaoth, the God of Angel Armies, the Lord of Hosts.    God is also  El Kannah, the Jealous God, and whenever He sets up a symbol, lacing it in and out of holy scripture from Genesis to Revelation, it is a very big deal!

Next, Dr. Moore continues…

We don’t necessarily affirm this [welcoming of divorced and remarried people into their congregations] as good, but we receive these people with mercy and grace……

Anyone who has attended an evangelical church for any length of time can define these terms, mercy and grace, by rote.   Mercy is not receiving the bad consequences that we’ve earned or that we deserve from God.   Grace is receiving unmerited favor from God due to Jesus going to the cross for forgiveness of our past sins committed by us before we surrendered control of our lives to Him, while accepting His completed work on the cross and renouncing our own efforts to keep the law.    Another way to describe grace is the empowerment that regeneration gives us to keep moving toward holiness, due to the infilling of the holy spirit, in response to His mercy.   It is the empowerment to make it to the finish line without sin hardening our hearts again and causing us to fall away, as warned of repeatedly in the book of Hebrews.    Grace is a divine attribute that cannot be bestowed man to man, but only extended by men where God extends it.   Forbearance, on the other hand, tends to become confused with “grace”.   It is the patience and forgiveness Christ commanded us to have toward one another when we’ve been offended in some way.    Grace is never cowardly and silent (nor affirming) acceptance of a sinful way of life in a person, which the word of God makes clear will cost that person their place in the kingdom of God.   That kind of “grace” is actually man’s license, and it is decidedly unloving, because it leads to hell without warning.   Naturally, these words are offensive to a denomination which has embraced “once saved, always saved”, but not surprisingly, this false doctrine seems to accompany heretical teachings about divorce and remarriage.   In these last days, we can only call these brothers and sisters in the Lord back to the words of Jesus Himself,  much of whose unpalatable truth Calvin, Luther and Knox summarily rejected.   Jesus warned:

Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many.  Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold.  But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved. “   Matthew 24:11-13

It is absolutely right for SBC congregations to welcome both adulterers and homosexuals into their congregations, but if they do, that local body is fully responsible for discipling them into the likeness of Christ, Who laid down His life and took up His cross.  Calvinist bodies, including the Southern Baptists, embrace the “once saved, always saved” mantra which is erroneous, in light of Peter’s instruction to “walk out your faith with fear and trembling”, and in light of Paul’s repeated warnings not to fall away, not to wander from the faith, and to finish the race.    The teaching that Christ died for present and future sins has no scriptural basis without active, ongoing mortification of those sins.   We are quite literally urged by Paul not to let sin reign in our mortal bodies.   By contrast, we are urged to confess and turn from our sins on an ongoing basis after salvation, and believers are repeatedly warned “do not be deceived” with regard to the controlling addiction of sexual sin, before being warned at least twice by Paul that this will cost them their inheritance in the kingdom of God.

 

The charge of hypocrisy is valid in some respects.   I’ve argued for years and repeatedly that Southern Baptists and other evangelicals are slow-motion sexual revolutionaries, embracing elements of the sexual revolution twenty or thirty years behind the rest of the culture. This is to our shame, and the divorce culture is the number-one indicator of this capitulation.

We would admonish that his is a much more perilous and urgent admission than Dr. Moore seems to grasp, in light of the rapidly escalating lawlessness of our times and the fully-evident meltdown of our society that resulted from outright licentiousness of the evangelical church in its unwillingness to call sin sin, and deal with it as Christ and Paul commanded.   The notion that it will take this cowering bride 20 or 30 years to embrace homosexuality in light of the persecution that is building at and within our borders is absurd.  We would further remind historically that the immoral compromise with God’s definition of marriage (Matt. 19:4-6) did not originate doctrinally for the Southern Baptists in the 1960’s but with Erasmus, Luther, Calvin and Knox in the 16th century.

It seems furthermore ridiculous to think that a church or denomination who wouldn’t risk offending congregants even for the sake of their souls over enforced societal normalization of adultery would suddenly develop an appetite and the discipline to weather persecution over enforced normalization of homosexuality as long as they cling to a belief of “once saved, always saved.”    After all, “grace” will cover it, and Jesus’ death paid for all present and future sins  – so insisting on physical repentance from remarriage adultery is “legalism”.

Legalism..huh

The preaching on divorce has been muted and hesitating all too often in our midst.

As we’ve just demonstrated, it’s a very good thing that it has been “muted” in many churches, for it has also been heretically distorted and false, when it does occur.   Better to have muted teaching than loud teaching that defies Luke 16:18 by claiming that an ongoing state of sin doesn’t persist in adulterous civil remarriages, or put forth blasphemous slander against the very character of God by denying His character revelation that He never breaks or abandons an original marriage covenant.   Better for such a  compromised pastor to remain silent in his deception than falsely claim from the pulpit that exiting immoral civil unions is “repeat sin” rather than the repentance and restitution it actually is.   Or to blaspheme that a Holy God would enter into “covenant” with adultery.   His position is very clear.   In Malachi 2, He says “I stand as a witness between you and the wife of your youth…she IS (not was) your partner, the companion of your marriage covenant.”   In Numbers 23:19, He says of Himself, “I am not a man that I should lie, nor a son of man that I should change My mind.  Do I speak, and not act?   Do I promise, and not fulfill?”

We love what Sam Crabtree, Executive Pastor of the Salem Baptist Church said  in the blog DesiringGod, April 9, 2014:
We are free to divorce when Jesus divorces the Church, which is never. (Even the divorce in Isaiah 50 is not a divorce from those he predestined, called, justified, and glorified, but rather a temporary action taken against ethnic Israel, who was never en masse the true bride in the first place.).    We are free to remarry when Jesus remarries a bride other than the elect bride, which is not as long as the spouse lives.”    AMEN!

Continuing with Dr. Moore….

Sometimes this is due to what the Bible calls “fear of man,” ministers and leaders afraid of angering divorced people (or their relatives) in power in congregations. Sometimes it’s due to the fact that divorce simply seems all too normal in this culture; it doesn’t shock us anymore.     Exactly, Dr. Moore!

The fear of man brings a snare,
But he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted.    Proverbs 29:25

Continuing…

…there are arguably some circumstances where divorce and remarriage are biblically permitted. Most evangelical Christians acknowledge that sexual immorality can dissolve a marital union, and that innocent party is then free to remarry (Matt. 5:32). The same is true, for most, for abandonment (1 Cor. 7:11-15). If the church did what we ought, our divorce rate would be astoundingly lowered, since vast numbers of divorces do not fit into these categories. Still, we acknowledge that the category of a remarried person after divorce does not, on its face, indicate sin.

Dr. Moore is here arguing with Jesus Himself when he makes his last fallacious assertion.   It matters not one whit what “most evangelical Christians” opine.   All that matters is what Jesus actually commanded.    One day, He’s going to ask, “Why do you call me Lord, Lord but do not do what I say?”

Luke 16:18:  18 Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31-32:  31 “It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus made this statement in the midst of His lengthy Sermon on the Mount, where He talked extensively about suffering for the kingdom of God, where He completely abrogated numerous points in the Pharisaical Mosaic law that embellished the Ten Commandments to the point of conflicting with them, and where He was unquestionably raising the moral bar, requiring forgiveness and reconciliation, and demanding that we keep our hearts clean and soft.   Against this backdrop, the street-speak version of what He said in this passage Matthew 5:32 is:

“You married a ‘Ho’ you say?   Too bad!   You [are] one-flesh with her and I’m also a party to that, until one of you ain’t no more .  So, if you kick her out and run, even if you get a piece of paper from the rabbi, you makin’ her a ‘Ho’ if she ain’t one already!”

Permission to divorce for adultery?   Don’t think so, dawg!    Permission to marry someone else?   Not unless you want a wife and a concubine, and not if you want Me to bless it!   I just got done telling you that if you say one unworthy word about her,  you are in danger of hell, and if you so much as reach for another woman, you’re at strong risk of wishing for all eternity you had cut off that hand first!

The Greek tense used here for  “commits adultery” is vitally important as well, but some scripture revisionists like to falsely assert, like Moore, that even if the marriage was sinful, it’s “still a marriage” or “the adultery is only a one-time act, covered by grace”.    If that were so, let me suggest that the One Who never spoke an idle word would have saved His breath for something important rather than repeat it twice!    Jesus used the present-indicative tense to refer to an ongoing state of adultery.   This is not a marriage in anything but the 2-party civil sense, and it doesn’t become one just because the parties are “sorry” but do not terminate the relationship.   The original marriage(s) still stand(s) undissolved!  There is a difference between being sorry for the evil consequences of transgression, and being sorry because fellowship with God is broken, leading in the latter situation to removal of the competing idol.   Adultery, and any form of idolatry always leads to a hard heart, which leads to enmity with God and, if not corrected, eternal separation from Him.    This is the reason John the Baptist told King Herod, an unbeliever civilly married to another unbeliever who remained the covenant wife of his brother, “it is not lawful for you to have her.”  (Matt. 14:4), and showing, as well, there is also no exception for spiritual condition.

Dealing now with the inexcusable misuse of 1 Cor. 7:15, this too comes courtesy of Paul in the midst of a passage that was teaching exactly the opposite of a “right” to divorce and remarry after abandonment.   For that very reason, remarriage is not even mentioned in this chapter.   In verses 10 and 11, Paul has stated that the Lord commands  the husband not to divorce his wife (no exceptions mentioned), and the wife not to separate from her husband, but if she does separate, to remain unmarried or be reconciled with her husband.   The chapter ends with verse 39 reiterating the reason:  the marriage bond δέδεται (dedetai) “deo” cannot be broken by anything but physical death.    It is no coincidence that Paul’s teaching taken in correct context correlates more so to Luke 16:18 than to any other gospel rendering.   Several church fathers’ writings, such as Tertullian, give extensive account of the two of them travelling and ministering together,  along with Paul’s mentorship of Luke as eyewitness to Christ’s teaching.

220px-Tertullian

Aside from the obvious context issue, 1 Cor. 7:15 has for centuries suffered significant Greek language translation abuse, with several of the words in that isolated verse, including the words “departs” and “bound”, that are best resolved by looking up Romans 7:2-3, 1 Cor. 7:15 and 1 Cor. 7:39 in a Greek interlinear text tool.    Upon doing this, it becomes clear that the word δεδούλωται (dedoulōtai) or “douloo” is not the word for marriage bond at all, but means “compelled to meet the absent spouse’s needs”, rather than follow Christ with single-minded focus.   Consistent with the rest of scripture, abandonment indeed does not break the indissoluble covenant marriage bond, either.

If the church “did what we ought”,  pastors would immediately cease performing weddings over anyone with an estranged living covenant spouse – no excuses.   That’s what the Assemblies of God did up to 1973, until unilateral divorce became the domineering blight on the land.   The immorality of the world system and culture should never drive doctrine or practice in the church!
With actual souls on the line, if the church “did what we ought”,  pastors would start telling their flock that the only biblical grounds for divorce is to undo falsely-sanctified, legalized adultery so that they can go reconcile with the spouse of their youth, as Hosea did with Gomer.  If the church “did what we ought”, false doctrine would be rewritten and seminary courses on marriage returned to a biblical basis based on full and faithful application of the laws of hermeneutics.   Yes, those actions would indeed cause the divorce rate (and, most likely,  lukewarm membership in the body of Christ) to precipitously drop , but more importantly, it would restore power and witness to the church which has been missing for centuries.   In the two scriptures Dr. Moore cites to claim a “biblical justification” for remarriage, Matthew 5:32 and 1 Cor. 7:15, the mere application of just one of the “5-C’s” of hermeneutics (Context) would immediately debunk his perennially popular, ear-tickling assertion.   See above.

From this point on, we’ve probably made our case where addressing the remaining presumptions in Dr. Moore’s blog becomes redundant, but now that we’ve laid the essential groundwork, we soldier on to a few more points.   We’ll ignore a few, too, because they are too irrelevant to bother addressing.

Continuing…

The second issue, though, is what repentance looks like in these cases. Take the worst-case scenario of an unbiblically divorced and remarried couple. Suppose this couple repents of their sin and ask to be received, or welcomed back, into the church. What does repentance look like for them? They have, in this scenario, committed an adulterous act (Matt. 5:32-33). Do they repent of this adultery by doing the same sinful action again, abandoning and divorcing one another?

How embarrassing it must be to these churches, who have “married” people into soul-endangering adultery, when with increasing frequency, the Lord mercifully brings full reconciliation between the original covenant spouses!   In my own church, a covenant couple who has been divorced for decades is in their 80’s and dating again, taking care of each other, and coming to church together for the first time over the past two years.    We published an amazing story a few weeks ago that made national news when a man, divorced for 43 years took an engagement ring into Wal-Mart and wooed back the wife of his youth!   It has been well-documented that there is a 60-80% failure rate for serial legalized adultery that builds in direct proportion to the number of adulterous civil-only marriages one undertakes, and indications seem to be that civil “marriage” entered into from adulterous cohabitation fails at a 97% rate.   Yet that doesn’t seem to stop the harlot church from demonizing the covenant spouse (who actually has God’s intense favor), nor from treating him or her like an interloper in many churches because they continue to wear their wedding rings, to  obey 1 Cor. 7:11 and to take a biblical stand for the restoration of their covenant relationship,  most importantly,  the errant spouse’s very soul  following adulterous remarriage.   God is jealous for His symbols, and for the soundness of the generations of their covenant family, and for their souls.   In many cases, God glorifies Himself in restoring two marriages as a result of such repentance, and He snatches 3 or 4 people from the fire in such cases!   Any bloodguilt from “breaking up [non-covenant] families”  falls right back on the false shepherds who ignored God’s word and abused their ordination by immorally joining one person to another’s spouse in direct conflict with Luke 16:18.

Given the scriptural fact that nothing breaks the marriage covenant short of physical death, there is no need to carve out a “worst case scenario” for hypothetical purposes, as Dr. Moore suggests.   God has laid down and clearly defined the seventh commandment.   Violation thereof is violation thereof, regardless of the circumstances.    Repentance looks exactly the same as for any other sin:  cessation and restitution.    Failure to repent leads to an ever-hardening heart, continued idolatry and continued broken fellowship with God.    The act of repentance is hard, so hard that the apostate church’s utter lack of remorse for their part in fostering serial adultery is shocking, to say the least!    But the understanding of how to repent is not hard at all.    As long as these pastors keep performing weddings over biblical adultery, this entire line of argument is incredibly shallow and disingenuous!   We would set up an entirely different “worst case scenario” and pose this hypothetical to Dr. Moore:   a civilly-married homosexual couple has been born again, and they realize they are living in sin, so they come to you asking how to repent.   They have “been together” for 15 years and have children,  two through depriving the covenant parent custody after a civil, unilateral divorce that God does not recognize, and the other child through renting somebody’s womb.   Are you going to tell them that breaking up that “family” is a “repeat sin”,  (so do they repent of this sodomy by doing the same sinful action again, abandoning and divorcing one another? )  The obvious answer for both scenarios is “only if they, and we as their church body, care about their eternal destinies. ”

 

In most cases, the church recognizes that they should acknowledge their past sin and resolve to be faithful from now on to one another. Why is this the case? It’s because their marriages may have been sinfully entered into, but they are, in fact, marriages.

In most cases?   In what case would the church not recognize their (and the organizational) past sin?     Furthermore, adultery, covetousness and discontent are hard habits to break, because if the baggage they brought with them was actually shed, the irreplaceable, supernatural one-flesh condition naturally draws a repented heart back to their covenant spouse, because that is always God’s will and way.    For all of the reasons already laid out above, we will agree that these are indeed 2-party civil marriages, for so says the piece of paper, but it is only in this sense they are “marriages” and adultery.   The very same could be said of legalized homosexual unions, however.    Neither will ever constitute holy matrimony in God’s eyes, but rather unrepented  adultery, exactly as Jesus said.    1 Corinthians 6:9 applies equally to these civil unions where God is not a covenant party, as it does to the practice of homosexuality.

Jesus redemptively exposed the sin of the Samaritan woman at the well by noting that the man she was living with was not her husband. “You have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband” (Jn. 4:18). It could be that her husbands all died successively, but not necessarily.

Just like today, this woman most likely had quite a complicated mix of covenant husband, deceased partners, cohabitation and / or legalized adultery partners.    The fact remains that if the husband of her youth continued to live, all subsequent relationships were adulterous, and her present relationship was definitely adulterous.    If the husband of her youth was deceased, it’s possible a subsequent husband still living is now her estranged covenant husband.   We can’t speculate and there’s really no need to.   Again, looking at John 4:18 in the Greek interlinear tool, we find that one of the two words used here for “husband” is quite familiar –ἄνδρας (andros),  and ἀνήρ (aner) , either of which could also simply mean “man” or “companion”.   There is are numerous other Greek words for “husband” used in other New Testament passages, but not used here.  It is impossible to speculate from this passage which of her relationships beyond the first one constituted covenant marriage, and which were mere civil unions blessed by the rabbi under an outdated Mosaic “bill of divorcement” law that Jesus was about to abrogate. (See above).   Therefore, there is no more basis here for using this passage to support divorce and remarriage than there is in using Jacob, Elkanah,  Solomon or David’s experiences to support polygamy.    Jesus declared new rules as a result of the Sermon on the Mount.

Even if these marriages were entered into sinfully in the first place, they are in fact marriages because they signify the Christ/church bond of the one-flesh union (Eph. 5:22-31), embedded in God’s creation design of male and female together (Mk. 10:6-9).

As discussed above, God remains exclusively in the first covenant, rendering none of the above true of any attempt at remarriage,  except of remarriage solely following widowhood.   If civil marriages are entered into adulterously while the original covenant is unbroken by death, they can’t be marriage and adultery in God’s eyes at the same time, for that violates His holiness and misrepresents His faithfulness.   Jesus made it clear in Luke 16:18 that this is ongoing adultery not marriage.  The more-relevant scriptures, on which the Eph. 5 and Mark 10 scriptures cited by Moore actually depend, are:

Matthew 19: 4 -6 and 8:  And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” ….He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.

Mark 10: 6-9:  But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Ephesians 5:31 echoes this, right after saying that any man who hates his covenant wife (obviously out of a hard heart, and due to the irreversible one-flesh connection exclusively  indwelt by God) hates himself,  hates his own body.   This is because a civil piece of paper cannot separate one-flesh or make it two again.   Physically and spiritually impossible, this is.   It is clear that what was established in God’s creation design per Genesis 2:24, to which Jesus was resetting the moral compass, is the husband and wife of youth being joined for life, and never again to be two separate people in God’s eyes.    God doesn’t issue “ideals” or “intents” with a Plan B- we are talking about the 7th commandment here.   This is the basis on which Jesus took the no-excuses hard line he did in Luke 16:18.

 

Same-sex relationships do not reflect that cosmic mystery, and thus by their very nature signify something other than the gospel. The question of what repentance looks like in this case is to flee immorality (1 Cor. 6:18), which means to cease such sexual activity in obedience to Christ (1 Cor. 6:11). A state, or church decree of these relationships as marital do not make them so.

All of what Moore has flatly stated about homosexual relationships applies in exactly the same fashion to the very relationships Jesus unambiguously described in Luke 16:18.   In fact,  those verses about fleeing immorality and honoring Him with our bodies were originally written to primarily address heterosexual sin including concubinage, false divorce, prostitution and polygamy.   Moore’s last statement is particularly salient with regard to remarriage adultery, in light of what Jesus said in Matthew 19:6 and 8.    Jesus made it crystal clear that man was never given authority to dissolve covenant marriage, nor to solemnize adulterous unions.

 

Instead, our response ought to be a vision of marriage defined by the gospel, embodied in local congregations. This means preaching with both truth and grace, with accountability for entering marriages and, by the discipline of the church, for keeping those vows. We don’t remedy our past sins by adding new ones.

So long as the definition of marriage is corrected to the  Matthew 19:6 scriptural basis, we couldn’t agree more.   However, once again, Moore’s last statement is particularly salient.   The SBC may legitimately lay claim to that declaration the moment they stop creating new cases of sanctified adultery through performing immoral weddings and counseling civil divorce on fabricated “biblical grounds”.

We conclude by returning to the (adjusted) question:  “Is  Legalized, Unrepented  Adultery Equivalent to Homosexuality?”

For purposes of restoring the church’s witness, restoring her power,  overcoming her enemies, for being pure and ready to meet her Bridegroom in the clouds, for withstanding the persecution of the last days, and for coming through the evaluation Jesus applies in Revelation 2 and 3, we say, yes indeed, they absolutely are equivalent.   Civil divorce, however,  is only equivalent to the extent that the root is equivalent to the fruit.

The attitude of evangelical churches in refusing to admit that remarriage after divorce is always biblically immoral has created an enormous obstacle over the past 40 years to driving any sort of godly family law reform that could rebalance constitutional protections between offending petitioners and non-offending, religiously objecting respondents.   The latter suffers oppressive religious discrimination in a myriad of circumstances as they are invariably punished, and made an example of,  by the courts for taking a biblical moral stand.   Pro-family, religious liberty legal ministries turn a deaf ear when embattled Christian spouses seek help in challenging the constitutionality of unilateral divorce, because these ministries don’t accept that it is morally unacceptable before God to remarry,  hence they don’t readily recognize the extent to which unilateral divorce laws burden a faithful believer’s free religious exercise and right-of-conscience.    Ideally, the government would not have any jurisdiction whatsoever over marriage, but the church would govern it righteously as Christ intended (1 Cor. 6 :1-2).    The government is an exceedingly unworthy steward of holy matrimony, and the harlot church no longer accepts her Christ-assigned accountability!

Additional resource:   Milton T. Wells, Does Divorce Dissolve Marriage  Eastern Bible Institute (1957), available through Flower Pentecostal Heritage Center, Springfield, MO   (archives@ag.org)

 

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

 

 

 

ONE-FLESH AND SPIRITUAL WARFARE

ValentinesBlog2015 Have a blessed Valentine’s Day, covenant marriage standers!

 

When the hour had come, He reclined at the table, and the apostles with Him.  And He said to them, “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer;  for I say to you, I shall never again eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” 17 And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He said, “Take this and share it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine from now on until the kingdom of God comes.”   And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”    And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My blood.   (Luke 22:14-20)

 

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.   If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.  (John 14:1-4)

 

He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.   This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:28-32)   “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.   For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother,  and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10: 8)

 

When Jesus shared His last intimate moments over a Passover seder meal in the upper room with His beloved disciples, He did something very symbolic–apart from washing their feet.   He spoke to them in some very intimate and familiar terms which they all would have instantly recognized, for He re-enacted the traditional Jewish betrothal [“kiddushin”] ceremony, reinforcing His role as the Bridegroom to His Church by invoking the timeless word script (bolded above) spoken by Hebrew bridegrooms for centuries, so that it would forever be “married” to the sacrament of communion He was establishing.

 

Lord, may these words this stander shares this day be only the words sent by the Holy Spirit, and may they powerfully encourage all other covenant standers on this Valentines Day.  In Jesus’ name, I pray.  Amen.

 

I was in the early months of a project assignment in London when I found out that instead of arranging his work so that he could join me there, my husband had become involved with someone who coveted my God-given helpmate assignment.  She coveted my assignment  instead of the one assigned to her,  which I later found out she had forsaken and abandoned some 20 years earlier.    The bad news of my beloved’s betrayal arrived in a credit card statement and was later confirmed by the further investigation of our adult children.

I was blessed to be in fellowship while in the UK in a small nondenominational  country village church,  a collection really, of a few very warm, large families who loved the Lord.    One day in my pew in that quaint little rock church, I was preparing to receive communion.    As the Scottish pastor richly spoke the words of Jesus from Luke 22 over the bread and the wine,  the Holy Spirit strongly impressed on me on that day nine years ago, that the communion elements corresponded perfectly to the permanent one-flesh relationship with my husband (bread) and to our indissoluable marriage covenant (wine) of which Jesus was a party.   Not only that, but because of our one-flesh relationship,  I would be taking communion for the benefit of my life partner who was now running from his once-close walk with God.   I  would be doing so until my beloved was back in fellowship with his King and could resume doing so for himself.    This was now my second stand for what was at that time a 31-year marriage.   During my first stand, 25 years earlier, the Lord did not speak this to me, because my beloved had not yet come to faith in Jesus.    We are told not to eat the bread or drink of the cup unworthily, but to do so only in self-examination and remembrance of the Bridegroom (1 Cor. 12:27).

 

Most covenant standers, we who know that the Living God permanently and uniquely inhabits our pure union with the husband or wife of our youth,  we know that the Jewish custom around betrothal [“kiddushin”] is far different from our western tradition.   We know that Mary, mother of Jesus, was legally Joseph’s wife as a result of becoming engaged to him, though they had not yet come together.    Few of us know the rich details that go into the Jewish ritual of covenant engagement, so we cannot fully appreciate the deeply significant and comforting ceremonial words that Jesus spoke in the upper room before He said, “this do in remembrance of Me”.

At the Jewish betrothal ceremony, which usually took place over a meal in the bride’s home, a marriage contract [“Ketubah”}, was presented to the father of the bride.  The Ketubah consists of all the bridegroom’s promises to his bride. The bride cherishes her Ketubah.    ( A loving sister-in-law once decoupaged our wedding invitation onto a plaque that was given to us at our wedding, which has hung on the wall of every new home of ours for forty years.)   We in the Church, too, have a Ketubah from our Bridegroom.   Our Ketubah (God’s Word) shows us all we  are entitled to as the Bride of Christ.    All, not some, but all the promises in God’s Word, are for us.   As the Bride of Christ, we are entitled to them — they are part of our Ketubah.

At this ceremony the bride was given an opportunity to accept or reject the proposal.    If she accepted, she usually remained silent    Rebekah, however, chose in faith to verbalize her desire leave her home to go with Abraham’s servant be wed to Isaac, whom she had not yet seen or spoken with (Genesis 24:58).   After the terms of the Ketubah were accepted, a cup of wine was shared to seal the marriage covenant.    In Matthew 26:29, Jesus said, “I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.”  

The bridegroom would speak the ceremonial words sealing  the covenant before the family witnesses, “I go to my father’s house to prepare a place for you.  I will not drink of this cup again until I drink it new  with  you in my father’s house”.      The cup that Jesus took at His last Passover on earth was the cup of the new marriage covenant with His Bride.   In Luke 22:20, Jesus said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is shed for you.”    The second cup of wine would be partaken many  months, perhaps a  year or more later at the wedding supper.

Once the marriage covenant was sealed, the bridegroom left his bride to return to his father’s house where he would spend a year or so preparing the living quarters for his bride before returning for her.   It was actually up to the father to decree when the quarters were acceptably complete and the bridegroom could go after his bride to bring her back for the wedding supper and consummation of the marriage.    When Jesus said that only His Father knew the day and the hour He was to return for us, He was also likening that day to the wedding day to come.   The bride, therefore, knew with certainty that her groom would be returning for her, but did not know when, so she waited in faith and in preparedness.  

 

We all know what a powerful spiritual weapon we have in the shed blood of Jesus!

Nothing is more important than family restoration, because in it is tied up our  loved ones’ very souls.   In the same way that regular ministry can’t take precedence over our families and its generations, standers ministry is no exception.   But, in Hebrews we are sternly warned that a hardened heart that won’t repent will cause us to walk away from our salvation, and in some cases, run out of time and grace.   We must never give up praying for that not to happen.   It’s on my heart every time I’m taking communion – the Lord showed me years ago that as my beloved’s ONLY covenant one-flesh, I’m taking communion with and for him while he is spiritually unable to (the unbelieving/backslidden husband is sanctified by his believing wife)! 

 

The one-flesh relationship is just as powerful as a spiritual weapon.

I also invoke this uniquely-appointed spiritual weapon against the spiritual ravager of my beloved’s soul whenever singing a praise chorus with “I” or “me” in the lyrics, but I sing “we [one flesh]” turning that chorus into a golden bowl of prayerful incense that rises to the throne of El Elyon (God Most High), and reminding all the spiritual host of God’s indissoluable covenant with my beloved and me,  as I’ve done since way back in my first stand for marriage restoration:

“Draw [us] close to You [as one flesh],  never let [us] go.   [We] lay it all down again, to hear You say that [we’re] Your friend.   This is [our] desire.  No one else will do.   ‘Cause nothing else can take Your place, to feel the warmth of Your embrace.   Help [us] find a way to bring [us] back to You [as one flesh].    You’re all [we] want.   You’re all [we’ve] ever needed.   You’re all [we] want.   Help [us] know You are near. “

 

“Take [us] by the outer court, and through the holy place   Past the brazen altar, Lord [we] long to see Your face          Pass [us] by the crowds of people and priest who sing Your praise.  Lord, [we] hunger and thirst for Your righteousness, and it’s only found in one place…. Take [us] into the Holy of Holies, take [us] in by the Blood of the Lamb [as one-flesh].   Take [us] into the Holy of Holies, take a coal, cleanse [our] lips, here [we are]. “

 

In that one act of worship, a stander is wielding at least three spiritual weapons:  praise of God, the sword of the spirit, the blood of the lamb,  and invoking the unique one-flesh relationship that sanctifies the prodigal spouse, according to God’s word.   This provision for sanctification by the indissoluable one-flesh relationship is not just for estranged spouses, but also for those intact homes where a beloved spouse is estranged from Christ because he or she has not ever come to saving faith.

 

Could this be why Satan’s deception is so strong over the apostate church which teaches in direct contradiction of God’s word, that divorce and remarriage (legalized and church-blessed adultery)  is justified due to being “unequally yoked” ? “But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.   For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.”      (1 Corinthians 7:12-14)    

 

Just as covenant marriage perfectly represents the Godhead (Father, Son, Holy Spirit / Christ, Husband, Wife), holy communion perfectly represents covenant marriage.   When Jesus took the cup and began to speak,  He deliberately chose to use the Hebrew ceremonial words for the betrothal ceremony in Luke 22:15-20.  The covenant and the one-flesh relationship.   The marriage supper of the Lamb.   I’m urging that covenant standers should never skip communion, and should never take it without a strong consciousness of the spouse of your youth, otherwise you are missing a potent and uniquely-appointed spiritual counter-attack, one that you are the only person on the face of the earth who can perform.   Grasping this truth alone would separate counterfeit , adulterous stands from authentic ones, and save a lot of “quitter’s anguish”.  

 

This revelation by the Holy Spirit instilled in me a righteous indignation at all forms of desecration of God’s definition of marriage, both the front and back ends  of Matt. 19:4-6,   and it called me to a purpose to invest my gifts in restoring His kingdom to this holy realm.  I have captured only a few elements of the rich custom that our Lord walked out as a metaphor establishing Himself as the one who prepares a place for us, and is coming for us.     This link will be helpful to standers who would like to  go  deeper in their understanding.

 

This stander is going to mark Valentine’s Day 2015 with a private communion ceremony.    Satan possibly has plans for my one-flesh to attempt to legalize his adultery that day with a hollow counterfeit, someone else’s covenant wife,  in a civil contract that will forever lack this powerful covenant blessing with the presence of El Kanna (our Jealous God).

 

Father God, in the Garden You said to our spiritual enemy: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers.   He will crush your head, and you will strike his feet.”    We thank and praise You, Lord, that it’s not the other way around!   When You formed the covenant helpmate out of the rib of her husband, You were already putting in place the divine provision for this,  and when You declared over them “no longer two but one flesh, let no man put asunder”,  You were sealing them in a spiritual weapon far greater than any carnal weapon the evil one could form against the holy covenant that stands sealed in Your shed blood.    Thank You that You are not a man that You should lie, nor a son of man that You should change your mind, but that which You promise, You, by character, are flawlessly faithful to fulfill.   May this word comfort the hearts of those who are permanently faithful to their covenant with the One who is faithful and true!   In Jesus’ name, amen.

(Scriptures in prayer:  Genesis 3:15,  Genesis 2:21-23,  Matthew 19:5-6, Isaiah 54:17, Luke 22:20, Numbers 23:19,  Revelation 19:11)

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

Deut. 24:1-4 written in STORY FORM

by Sharon Henry, guest blogger

Sharon is a Christ-follower who while not previously married, wed a divorced man whose covenant wife had divorced him and had remarried adulterously.   After 17 years, she became convicted that her civil marriage was biblically adulterous because she realized that despite the errant teaching of the contemporary evangelical church, that her husband’s original sacred matrimony covenant with God remained unbroken by anything but death.    She made the painful decision to come out of that otherwise happy marriage in 2012, releasing her civil husband back to the opportunity for reconciliation with the covenant wife of his youth as God commands.    It was a deep act of laying down her own life so that her beloved noncovenant husband might not die in the sin of remarriage adultery.  Sharon maintains, based on a corrected interpretation of scripture, that such an act of obedience is not compounding the sin as many pastors today like to counsel, but is the very essence of repentance.   (What pastor would counsel a homosexual, in light of 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, to stay in a sodomous “marriage” so as not to commit a second “sin”?) 

 Sharon has since devoted herself to a deep understanding of Hebrew and Greek scriptural translation with overlooked cultural context, and she faithfully stands with those who obey 1 Cor. 7:10-11,  encouraging them in restoration of their covenant marriages and redemption of their prodigal spouses.    She addresses one of the most commonly misapplied scriptures  that today is used by the apostate evangelical church to rationalize the continuation of noncovenant civil marriages.   She does so out of deep concern for souls.  – SIFC  FB profile 7xtjw

 

DEUTERONOMY 24:1-4 does not address a particular case, but general scenarios of Jewish husbands wanting to dispose of a fully married wife. The Hebrews learned to divorce during their 400 years in Egypt and fine-tuned it to divorce for any cause, even for falling out of love with a wife (Deut. 24:3).  God does not condone a divorce for hate or incompatibility.

 

THREE TYPES OF DIVORCES FROM UNLAWFUL MARRIAGES:

There are three types of (unlawful) marriages that are forbidden by Moses. (DABAR means commandment.)

1. DABAR, Z’NUT (playing the harlot) Deut. 22:13-22 If a betrothed wife deceives her husband and is found not to be a virgin on her wedding night, she is stoned or divorced.

2. DABAR ERVAH (incest) Deut. 24:1 Torah ervah, or doubtful ervah (if the relationship is not clear, then he may divorce her). Ervah occurs 54 times of which 31 times it refers to incest.

3. DABAR (Deut./DABARIM 7:3-4) against marrying idolatrous foreign wives (Deut. 7:3-4, 11, Ezra 10 – divorced).

 

Otherwise, if a man divorces his wife not according to these Mosaic Law, the courts would penalize him with a hefty divorce settlement to the forsaken wife.

 

Read the scenario put into story form of a man (fictitious name, but true to the text) who has second thoughts about the wife he married based on Deut. 24:1-4, Jewish marriage customs, and courts.

 

His bride, Tamar, is from a good Hebrew family, and was a virgin when Joe took her and married her. She is not that beautiful, but neither was he that handsome. She soon fell into disfavor with him and Joe decided to divorce her, but he is a young man with little money. The Court demands a costly settlement if a wife is put away for frivolous reasons and not according to the law. Joe thinks, “Which law should I use? Tamar is not a foreigner, so I can’t use that law.” He thought about bringing an evil name upon Tamar for not being a virgin, (DABAR, Z’NUT) but her parents would bring forth the token of virginity (the wedding nightgown) and he would be whipped 40 strokes save one, and fined 100 shekels of silver. This made Joe think again.

 

Maybe he could use the DABAR ERVAH law to divorce her. According to the Rabbis, “These are the forbidden unions that stem from ervah (incest), those from the Torah (Old Testament) and those from the rabbis. Those that are from the Torah, kiddushin (betrothal/marriage contract) does not take effect. Those that are from the rabbis, kiddushin does take effect and you must deliver a get (divorce). And likewise a betrothal with a doubtful ervah also needs a get (divorce).”  He researches Tamar’s genealogy and lo and behold!  His grandmother married her great uncle. Tamar’s husband now goes to the court and asks for a get (a divorce), based on a doubtful ervah, that their marriage is a possible incestuous union.  It is granted and Tamar is sent out of the house with a writ of divorcement.

 

An older man marries Tamar, now a young divorcee with no children. Perfect! Soon his heart turns away from her. She is unlucky in love. Since he is well-to-do, he can afford to pay the high divorce settlement required by the court. He pleads no law, but just pays the divorce settlement to get rid of her. Tamar’s former husband hears that she is divorced again, and in the money. He thinks, ”I need her money to start a business. I will push her buttons and win her back!”  So you may ask, “What about the incest issue and their doubtful ervah?” That doesn’t stop Joe. His greed has taken over again. He determines to remarry her, regardless whether she is a close relative or a “doubtful ervah [kin].”  Then he hears the bad news!  Deut. 24:4!  He can’t take her back! He divorced her for Incest, so she is defiled to him. He is prevented from twisting the law to fulfill his greed and ever changing heart. He is told that it is an abomination to misuse God’s laws for personal gain or for frivolous divorce!

 

Deut 24 cultural depiction

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall  |  Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

www.standerinfamilycourt.com

31 Days of Prayer for My Husband

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Revive Our Hearts / Nancy Leigh DeMoss

 

Day 1 – Lord, I pray that my husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before You. I pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines – Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2 – Lord, I pray that my husband’s relationship with You and Your Word will bear fruit in his life. I pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3 – I pray that my husband will be humble and quick to agree with You about his sin. I pray that his heart will be tender toward Your voice, oh Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4 – Dear Lord, I pray that my husband will grow in leadership skills in our relationship – protecting and providing for us. I pray that he will lead us wisely and love us sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in our marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5 – Lord, I pray that my husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. I pray that he will have a desire to cultivate a stronger relationship with me as a sign of his loyalty and commitment, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6 – Heavenly Father, I pray that my husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. I pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15, 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7 – I pray that my husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Lord, let his heart be pure and undivided in his commitment to me. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom 13:14)

Day 8 – Lord, I pray that my husband will work hard to provide for our family, to the best of his ability. I pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character – persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9 – Lord, I pray that my husband will handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. I pray that money will not become a source of discord in our family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10 – Lord, I pray my husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. I pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim.1:5,3:7; Eph.6:10-12)

Day 11 – Lord, I pray that my husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord. I pray that he will listen to You and desire to do Your will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph.1:9; 4:30)

Day 12 – Lord, I pray that my husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self-control. I pray that our sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15,18; 1 Cor. 7:3, Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13 – I pray that my husband will use practical skills to build our family and make wise decisions for our welfare. I pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14 – Lord, I pray that my husband will speak words that build up our family and reflect a heart of love. I pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15 – I pray that my husband will choose his friends wisely. Lord, I pray that You will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16 – I pray that my husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Lord, I pray that he will not give in to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17 – Lord, I pray that my husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after You and strong men in the faith. I pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18 – Lord, I pray that my husband will have an eternal perspective – living in light of eternity. I pray, Father, that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19 – Heavenly Father, I pray that my husband will be patient and a man of peace. I pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20 – God, I pray that my husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. I pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography.(Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21 – Lord, I pray that my husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with You. I pray that he will submit his schedule and finances to You! (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22 – Lord, I pray that my husband will practice forgiveness in our relationship and with others. I pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23 – I pray that my husband will be a good father – disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally. (If he is not a father, pray this. . . that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the You, Lord.) (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24 – I pray that my husband will have a balanced life – that he will balance work and play. I pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25 – Lord, I pray that my husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice and that he will stand for the truth. I pray that he will protect me and our family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26 – Lord, I pray that my husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. I pray that he will offer all his dreams to You, and pursue only those goals that will bring You glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27 – I pray that my husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body – the temple of the Holy Spirit – for the glory of God. I pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28 – I pray that my husband will be a man of prayer. Lord, I pray that he will seek and pursue You in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thes. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29 – Lord, I pray that my husband will surrender his time and talents to You. Dear Jesus, I pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in our home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4,7)

Day 30 – Lord, I pray that my husband will serve You and others with pure motives. I pray that he will obey You from his heart and glorify You in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31 – Lord, I pray that my husband will recognize the lies of the enemy in his life. I pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

When Affair Partners Marry: 9 Reasons Why They Might Fail

By on September 8, 2011 in Divorce, Sex and Marriage

when affair partners marry

What are the typical defects in the relationships when affair partners marry and why are they more likely to divorce?

In the past we have written about the some of our neighbors who have experienced infidelity in their lives, as well as my brother’s situation, and as a result of a neighborhood block party and some time talking with my mother, we were inundated with news of cheaters beginning their new lives with their affair partners.

We heard about divorces being finalized and new homes being bought and how excited they all were to begin their new lives.  I really couldn’t feel hopeful or happy for any of these people (even though one of them was my brother).

I really feel guilty about that because I want my brother to be happy but I just have a gut feeling that this wasn’t the right way to accomplish it.

I was feeling really frustrated and of course wondered why Doug didn’t take that same path to a new life.  I also began to wonder how happy these couples will really be once the shine of their relationship wears off.  So I searched the internet looking for answers about the success rate of second marriages, particularly marriages when affair partners marry each other.

I know somewhere on our site we mentioned the percentage of these marriages that are successful and I know the percentage was very low.  However, I wanted to know why.  I was lucky enough to find an article that summarized a chapter from Frank Pittman’s book, “Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy” that described the typical defects in the relationships when affair partners marry and why they are likely to divorce.

The intervention of reality.  During the affair the affair partners are in an intense state of stimulating unreality.  The second marriage itself seems to be the switch that illuminates the mess that has accumulated.  To them it was as if the romance appeared real while the divorce didn’t.  Only after their marriage did the divorce become real enough to see that it was a horrible mistake.  They were so caught up in the infatuation that they never got around to figuring out if what they were doing was sane.

Guilt.  People who have wrecked a family have inflicted much pain.  As reality sets in they see many things they were overlooking. They may have no or little guilt during the affair and divorce, so the guilt they feel after the remarriage may come as a complete surprise to both of them and they may not know how to handle that revelation.

Disparity of Sacrifice.  Divorces are expensive both financially and emotionally.  Anyone losing a great deal will be drained, exhausted and depressed.  It is particularly difficult when the exhausted partner marries one who feels triumphant that they have won the battle and took them away from their family.  When affair partners marry, the new couple may feel a disparity in what had to be sacrificed to bring them together.  They may not understand the emotion that was involved and what they had to give up in order to be together.

Expectations.  Then there is the feeling that anything that cost that much emotionally had better be worth it.  The greater the sacrifices, the greater the expectations for the new marriage.  They believe that everything will be perfect just as their affair was.  Unfortunately, what they will find is the ordinariness of real life.  The more people enjoy the battles involved in wrecking and escaping marriages, the less they are likely to enjoy the business as usual of the new marriage.

General distrust of marriage and of the affair partners.  It is obvious that when affair partners marry at some point in their marriage they will begin to question if their new spouse will also cheat on them.  How can a marriage that began as a lie have any trusting foundation?

Divided loyalties.  During the affair and the divorce the affair couples isolate themselves.  They not only erase the betrayed spouse from their awareness, but also the children, relatives, friends, etc.  They live in their own little world protected from the devastation that they have created, safe from anyone who tries to pull them apart.  After the remarriage, they long to reconnect with these people only to find that is not so easy.  Everyone involved is hurt by the betrayal and not as forgiving as they have expected. They often find that they only have each other and that can be very lonely.

Romance.  People who are in love with romance, or in love with being in love as Dr. Huizenga would say, do not understand the physics of relationships.  When the romance fades, romantics know little about how to solve those problems.  Rather, they believe that they have just fallen out of love.  They do not understand how to have a deeper more meaningful relationship.  They move on from romance to romance never finding true lasting love.

Blaming the betrayed spouses.  During the affair and the divorce the affair couples convince each other that the defective marriage was the fault of the betrayed spouse.  To acknowledge otherwise, now that the remarriage has taken place, seems a betrayal of the rescue fantasies that fed the affair in the first place.

Unshared history.  Even if a new marriage survives all of these obstacles, there is one further characteristic of second marriages: the absence of a shared history that brings familiarity to relationships that begin earlier in life.

If an affair wrecked the first marriage, the history is painful and embarrassing for both parties.  They also have a difficult time discussing the past because it may promote jealousy and insecurity.  When affair partners marry, they do not want to hear the good qualities of the previous marriage and spouses.  They also don’t want to hear about all the good times they had shared.  They are literally starting over and trying not to bring the past with them.  Often times this can be lonely and disheartening, and eventually causes them to forget who they really are.

I believe that most of us (betrayed spouses) realize that many of these defects would play out similarly if our spouses chose to leave and marry their affair partner.  I am pretty confident that none of these obstacles were discussed or even thought about while our spouses were involved in their affairs.  I imagine that it would probably take awhile before the fog lifted and the consequences of their actions were realized.

For a powerful post written by an “other woman” who married her affair partner, click here.

LINESPACE

Our Story (7 Times Around the Jericho Wall) – Part 2

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by Standerinfamilycourt.com

“So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding,  excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.   

But you did not learn Christ in this way,  if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus,  that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,  and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,  and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”    Ephesians 4:17-24

“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”                    1 Corinthians 11:3

Part 2:  FROM DECREE TO PREPARATION FOR APPEAL

Blogger’s Note:   the discussion that follows reflects only my own research and independent thought, and does not necessarily reflect the advice of my attorneys.  

 In my earlier post I described what it’s like to be an unwilling “Respondent”,  a conscientious objector,  as some 80% of us are, in state government’s 45-year war on the traditional family.

My husband was seeking to be awarded over $200,000 of my retirement assets after spending some $500,000 or more on a 9-year adulterous overseas relationship, using his corporate position, foreign bank accounts, expense accounts and credit cards that I did not gain visibility of until property division discovery began, in the aftermath of our bifurcated grounds trial.   (Bifurcation is where the judge rules that there will be a separate trial for grounds and for issues with the division of property.   The trials can occur many months apart in a financially complex case such as ours. )

A very dirty secret of the government divorce regime is that the combination of case law and enacted law applies a double-standard to the marriage contract in a very unique way compared with any other legal contract.   For purposes of dividing property, the body of binding case law, and the legislative history behind the statute, holds that marital misconduct cannot be applied because the marriage must be treated as an equal “economic partnership”.    However, this is a spurious false analogy because most non-marital financial partnerships have far greater protections from partner malfeasance.    Unlike the marriage contact, they are legally binding without due cause, and cannot be interfered with by subsequent legislation that would impair them (per Article 1 Section 10 of the U.S. Constitution)  – and they cannot be broken without mutual consent and just compensation.   By contrast, case law going all the way back to the late 1800’s and the U.S. Supreme Court holds that Article 1 Section 10 (and corresponding state constitution counterparts) uniquely cannot be applied to protect the marriage contract from ex post facto laws that would impair it.    At the time that the husband of my youth and I repeated our marriage vows, “irreconcilable differences” was not a ground for divorce,  either in our original state or the state to which we would move 26 years later.   The Illinois law that would impair our marriage contract wasn’t enacted until 3 years after our wedding day,  and wasn’t enacted in the state in which we actually said those vows until after our 35th wedding anniversary had passed.

How utterly shameful that as a result of applying this double standard, the essential covenant building block of our society that shapes the citizen character necessary to sustain our constitutional democracy into the next generation is afforded far less legal protection than the contractual “economic partnership” it is illegitimately compared to by the “no-fault” machinery!

Two hallmarks of corrosive, morally-repugnant legislation that undermines the wellbeing of society as a whole by creating special entitlements for a politically favored group:  (1) pernicious use  of a popular false analogy, and (2)  contortions in the implementation details that result in having it both ways when it comes to a given set of facts and circumstances.     Case law around dissipation claims presents a classic example when joined with the political effort to prevent marital misconduct from having a material case outcome.

 

Not every state has found it necessary to bar marital misconduct from consideration in the division of marital property,  which by law includes retirement assets.    About a dozen states expressly allow marital misconduct to be considered for this purpose.  This alone  calls into serious question the necessity of this heinous exclusion which heavily favors the offending spouse who brings the petition, and whether it is the least restrictive means of accomplishing a desirable, or even necessary,  government aim.   This is an enormously important question because, while recent statistics show that cohabitation has caused the marriage rate to decline-hence the divorce rate appears to have levelled off for couples under the age of 50, the widely-reported claim that the overall divorce rate is declining is false.   By contrast, the divorce rate has been very rapidly increasing for couples past the age of 50  This government policy seems to do very serious harm to non-offending spouses who are nearing retirement age,  particularly if they contest the divorce action on a moral, family-based objection and they have been the more responsible party financially (reflecting the high correlation between financial stewardship and staying out of adultery).

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The legal community in our state wrings its hands over the prevalence of dissipation claims and has passed several recent measures to curb them, even though the inherent flaw in the philosophy of the law itself makes them the only available avenue to economic justice for many innocent Respondents on whom divorce was unwillingly imposed.    Our judge displayed a particular contempt toward our well-founded and carefully documented dissipation claim, which consumed some 8 trial days to fully present, due to the extent of the financial abuse.    As we shall see with the further details of our case, certain aspects of the “no-fault” law are only enforceable against a contesting, non-offending spouse by the liberal application of double-standards and by having a certain set of facts interpreted “both ways”, depending on the phase of the bifurcated trial (grounds versus property).

In order to avoid a grounds trial once a petition for dissolution of marriage is filed, a non-offending “Respondent” must affirm or at least not dispute any of the (effective) civil charges that have been levelled against them and against the marriage.   They must, in effect, “plead guilty” in their filed response to the petition,  affirming each of the following allegations which constitute the legal basis for a finding of “irreconcilable differences” (in many other states, Respondents are not actually afforded this opportunity) :

– that husband and wife have lived separately and apart continuously for at least 2 years (unless a cohabiting  “reconciliation attempt” has occupied a portion of that time)

– that dissolving the marriage is in the family’s best interest

– that all attempts to reconcile have failed

– that further attempts to reconcile would be impracticable

– that the marriage has undergone an “irretrievable breakdown”

No bible-believing follower of Christ could ever conscionably sign off on the majority of these allegations without dishonoring God who is an active Party in the marriage covenant, unless theirs was a non-covenant remarriage of the kind that Jesus would call adultery per Luke 16:18 and Matthew 5:32.    Moreover, once forced to civil trial, my Christian attorney and I attempted to bring significant evidence to individually refute each of these points because they simply were not true.

My husband, on the other hand, defended against what limited evidence of ours the judge would allow with outright perjury, both in his deposition and on the witness stand.   Due to court rules of evidence, it was far from a level playing field to begin with,  Plaintiff vs. Defendant,  “Petitioner” vs. “Respondent”.   My husband was openly permitted by the judge to reach far back into our decades-long marriage and drag out his version of isolated incidents some 20 years prior to buttress his allegations, but I and my attorney were restricted to bringing evidence of events that occurred only in the two years prior to the petition filing.    Procedural Due Process and Equal Protection violation  #1.   

The judge deemed my husband “the more credible witness” for purposes of ruling on the truthfulness of the grounds, although there was never a shred of evidence brought in the case to support the judge’s bias against my personal credibility.    After all, we couldn’t both be telling the truth.   On the other hand, the judge had every opportunity to observe that my husband’s testimony conflicted not only with mine but with the testimony of both of our adult children in sworn depositions which the judge specifically asked to read before he ruled.   At times my husband’s testimony on the witness stand conflicted with testimony in his sworn deposition.   Perjury is very hard to keep track of,  but someone who is telling the truth has no such conflicts – all of this escaped the judge’s notice (or regard).   Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and where there’s adultery, there’s inevitably perjury,  yet it was I, the “Respondent”  who was presumed not a credible witness.   In his official ruling of “irreconcilable differences”, the judge is on record as stating he believed I was “punishing” my husband’s good behavior in coming home (from his overseas job) for virtually every holiday, and for sleeping with me every time during the two years of “separation”;  I was punishing my husband with my decision to contest the grounds for divorce,  and because I sought to bring evidence to refute the civil allegations against me and against our decades-long marriage.   Love for my husband and reverence  for the clear instructions of God could not,  in the judge’s biased eyes, have plausibly motivated my behavior.   Substantive Due Process violation #1, based on my exercise of moral conscience and religious expression.

In two of the recent marriage redefinition cases, Robichaux v Caldwell (Louisiana), and Bishop v Smith (Oklahoma),   Federal judges discuss the role of animus against a “suspect” class of people in denying them their 14th Amendment rights to equal protection under the law.    According to these Federal precedents, animus can be shown to exist if  some structural aberration in the law is at issue, like the imposition of wide-ranging and novel deprivations upon the disfavored group or deviation from the historical  territory of the sovereign simply to eliminate privileges that the disfavored group might otherwise enjoy.”    Is it possible that the ruling cohort of the legal community,  in enforcing a blanket legislative preference for Petitioners, has developed just such an animus against contesting Respondents as a class such that boorish courtroom treatment of Respondents is a clear and consistent symptom?    What would it take to prove this?   Certainly the trend in recent legislation in our state has become progressively harsher to the rights of Respondents, who lack sufficient numbers, organization  or economic clout to defend themselves as a class from unjust legislation, and from oppressive court rules designed to systematically suppress evidence that might be unfavorable to the Petitioner.

 

Since my attorney and I made the Christ-honoring choice not to start financial discovery during the grounds phase of the trial, we were not aware of the massive financial abuse at the time the judge made his finding of “irreconcilable differences”.    Learning through family members that the circumstances which triggered my husband to suddenly file his petition after 7 years of status quo were of a superficial nature (his girlfriend was barred from his work country earlier that year for violating immigration laws under my husband’s management accountability),  we wanted to emphasize counseling and reconciliation, which in reality is what remains to be in the true best interest of our children and grandchildren.     However, the system is grossly biased against any genuine reconciliation attempts,  and actually throws up perverse incentives against reconciliation.

Under our state’s statute and relevant case law, dissipation is defined as the misuse of marital funds and assets for a purpose not supportive of the marriage after the marriage has begun an “irretrievable breakdown” (crossing a specific threshold).   My husband had used his senior position in the consulting firm where he worked to install his girlfriend as an employee and she also became the approver of his travel expense reports.   There was significant global travel involved with his work.   It was therefore necessary to include my husband’s company expense reports in the discovery requests, and to hire forensic accountants to adequately document our complex case, given the time constraints in my own fulltime employment.    My husband’s attorney brought several expensive but successful motions aimed at barring both the work and the expert testimony of the accountants, also at limiting the time frame allowed for the dissipation claim, and barring the claim itself.

Even after many adverse rulings, our evidence still represented air-tight documentation that my husband and his girlfriend had established a pattern of taking lavish pleasure trips at least monthly that were not reimbursed as business travel.   Despite substantial precedent in case law that should have precluded the judge from limiting the time frame of our claim, or rejecting the graphic category summaries of our evidence, or dismissing our expert witness accountants in the face of a very complex and employment-entangled international case, the judge ruled against us on all of these, changing his mind twice in ruling on the length of the dissipation period over which he would allow discovery and entertain evidence.   He also disregarded our evidence that my husband continued to spend abusively in contempt of court after a protective stay was issued in October, 2013.    He additionally allowed my husband’s substantial, willful noncompliance with discovery deadlines on multiple occasions and refused motions for continuance in relief of this.    Procedural Due Process and Equal Protection violations #2, 3, 4 and 5.

Then outrageously, and despite the admitted continuous presence of my rival, my husband’s attorney filed a motion in the closing days of the property trial asserting that marriage reconciliation “could have occurred at any point up to the date the petition was filed“, asking that the judge deem the petition filing date as the date of “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage” and further asking that the many years of dissipation occurring prior to late 2012 be dismissed.   Despite the aforementioned case law that should have precluded this, the judge was only too happy to comply, saying it was justified because I contested the grounds and because, the judge said,  I still do not believe as a matter of conscience or on a biblical basis that our marriage is irretrievable (true enough, not that the law cares what my opinion or the opinion of our adult children is).

The judge had thereby found a way to punish me financially for my convictions, believing those convictions had unduly “punished” my husband.  Clearly, he was making a political example of me.   What should have been a provable $500,000 to $600,000 claim was thereby reduced to only $35,000.   The result was that he ordered a 50/50 split of our assets instead of the 60/40 split that would have preserved my retirement assets intact, and he arbitrarily ordered both our main residence and nearby vacation home sold, disregarding our reasonable recommendations to award the higher value property to my husband for (his) sale, and award the lower-value property to me for an ongoing residence that I could afford to maintain into my approaching retirement.   Substantive Due Process violation #2, based on my exercise of moral conscience and religious expression.

That judicial move, however, transformed our technical appeal into a constitutional appeal, one that caught the empathy of an experienced religious freedom law firm who agreed to take our appeals case.

 

At least one of the recent marriage redefinition case rulings, Bostic v Shaefer (Virginia) goes into an interesting discussion of the precedents defining a fundamental right.    Citing a 1943 Supreme Court case, West Virginia State Board of Education v Barnette,  fundamental rights are those which are  “deeply rooted in the nation’s history and tradition and implicit in the concept of ordered liberty such that neither liberty nor justice would exist if [they were] sacrificed.”   I believe there are numerous fundamental rights stripped from Respondents by the enforcement of the unilateral divorce system, all of which rights had been deeply rooted in the nation’s tradition and history until the enactment of state-by-state unilateral divorce laws commenced 45 years ago.    One does not have to read very far into a piece by Fathers’ Rights advocate Stephen Baskerville to see how basic liberty is routinely stripped without cause from some Respondents.    My own liberty to live in a home I currently own and could well afford with my future finances has been punitively stripped from me by this judge.    My fundamental right to reasonably defend my retirement was arbitrarily stripped from me simply for the crime of showing up in court to defend the sanctity of my marriage, as is my basic constitutional right.   If homosexuals as a class sharing a chosen, non-immutable shared emotional characteristic may claim a fundamental right to get married to the person of their choice (as has been recently ruled in numerous states across the land and allowed by the U.S.  Supreme Court to stand due to lack of review),  then contesting Respondents as a morally-defined and politically disfavored class have a fundamental right to stay married to the person of their choice, absent some just cause proven against them.   This is before even touching my 1st Amendment right to freedom of conscience and religious exercise toward my God-given marriage.

Once handed down,  appellate rulings in divorce cases are readily retrievable online these days from a simple Google or Bing search without a legal subscription service.   Because by 2013, several innocent family members now worked for my husband’s firm, which was likely to be explicitly named in the eventual published case, we filed a motion to proceed with our appeal under a fictitious name, “Jane and John Doe”  and “XYZ Company.”   I love my husband and want to do everything I can to leave the door open for his return to fellowship with the Lord and to reconciliation with our family.   I feel a moral responsibility to pursue this important appeal for the good of society if that’s the Lord’s assignment for me, but I also don’t want to deliberately make myself the direct instrument of retribution.
I believe my role is to stay out of the way of correcting natural consequences God brings to my husband as a result of his own actions, but not to step into that role myself if it can be avoided.
The court made its bias plain that I should have spared my husband of any consequences altogether by readily consenting to what God’s word forbids.   To accomplish this, I should have modeled the principle of disposable covenants for the edification of my watching children and their spouses,  grandchildren and their future spouses.

Whether we win or lose on appeal, public details of my husband’s breach of fiduciary responsibility to his firm is likely to harm his firm’s existing and potential client relationships, given the nature of that business.   Incredibly, my husband’s attorney filed a response actively opposing our motion, even though it was in my husband’s very obvious best interest for the judge to grant the anonymity.

Proverbs 12: 4 –  A capable wife is her husband’s crown, but a wife who causes shame is rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 31: 12 –  The heart of her husband trusts in her.  She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life.

I should say here that my attorney did not feel it was prudent to base our filed anonymity motion on these true family concerns, so he instead filed the motion based on potential damage to my own safety and well-being should there be additional political opponents to our constitutional appeal.    As a consequence, the trial judge erroneously treated our motion as though we had requested that the case be wholly impounded, and therefore denied our motion based on “the public’s right to know”,  which we now have to appeal.

We have also filed several stay motions that the trial court judge denied, which are now going to the appeals court.   My husband and I have each spent about $100,000 so far in legal fees, about 80% of which were incurred in the property / dissipation phase of our two trials where the main issue was my pension and his failure to provide for his own retirement due to dissipation of marital assets.   Tens of thousands of dollars alone were spent on respectively combatting and defending my right as a Respondent to the sort of due process that everyone else takes for granted under the system of justice outside of Family Law Court.

In the meantime, I have taken up a bit of legal research myself in order to be a better-informed consumer of constitutional law services than I was of family law services.  I have sought to record my learnings over this long journey in the hopes of being helpful to others in the future.   I drew inspiration here from reading Judith Brumbaugh’s excellent book, “Judge, Please Don’t Strike that Gavel on My Marriage.”    Judith is an amazing saint who has gone before, back in the 1980’s when she brought what was probably one of the nation’s first religious freedom constitutional challenges to Florida’s unilateral divorce law, which is actually harsher than Illinois’ (unless HB1452 passes in the Illinois Senate this fall).     Judith was cut off early from funds to pay attorney fees, and incredibly she taught herself at the local library to represent herself after she became the victim of a judge who also was determined to make a political example of anyone who would dare contest a “no-fault” divorce based on a biblical stand for her covenant marriage.

FB profile 7xtjw  (SIFC Updateto the praise and glory of God,  the prayers of the saints in Illinois were heard and the 2013-2014 Illinois legislative session ended without passing HB1452 despite its earlier lopsided margin of victory in the state house of representatives.)  This mercy defeats accelerated family destruction and increased poverty that would have otherwise devastated thousands of additional families across the state.

There are some legal environment factors today that I believe are changing by the month concerning marriage rights, equal protection and due process, and are very different now than in those earlier days of unsuccessful constitutional challenge of “no-fault” divorce, which I will cover (attorney advice permitting) in my next post.

Malachi 3:5  –

 “I will come to put you on trial [state family law courts ,who trample My Covenant].   I will be quick to testify against … adulterers, lying witnesses, and those who cheat workers out of their wages and oppress widows and orphans.  I will also testify against those who deprive foreigners of their rights.  None of them fear me,” says Yahweh Tsebaoth  [ the God of Angel Armies].”

I close this post by wryly pointing out that the above promise from God started to be fulfilled in 2014  when Judge Steven Reinhardt of the 9th Federal Circuit called out state unilateral divorce laws in his ruling in Latta v Otter striking down the constitutional vote of the people of the states of Idaho and Nevada to define marriage as one man and one woman.     Standerinfamilycourt is in the process of reviewing all of the 2014 marriage redefinition cases, a time-consuming undertaking!

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Jesus warned that “a little leaven leavens the whole lump”.   God will not be mocked!

Our Story:  7 Times Around the Jericho Wall – Part 1

Our Story:  7 Times Around the Jericho Wall- Part3

No Day in Court for (Stander) “Jane Doe”, Our Story – Part 4

 

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce!

standerinfamilycourt.com

 

 

 

How One Local Church Let A Young Family Down Due to Tainted Denominational Doctrine

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by:  standerinfamilycourt.com

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.” – Matthew 5:13

“The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted. “ –  Proverbs 29:25

“But I have this against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads My bond-servants astray so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.   I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality.”   – Message to the Church at Thyratira, Revelation 2:20 

 

She was a 30-something never-married daughter in a large and important family in the small congregation.   He was a civilly-divorced father of a young son.   Let’s call them Jack and Jill,  not their real names.   They met online, dated briefly and then moved in together.   Soon Jill was expecting a child whom they learned would be born a special-needs child.    Jack and Jill  were enveloped in the loving, accepting arms of the body of Christ in that fellowship, and somewhere along the way, one of the men led seeker Jack to the Lord.

 

Even though the word of God clearly states that Jack already has a covenant wife we’ll call Jane (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:39),  the senior pastor agreed to wed Jack to Jill, probably out of very understandable empathy for the special-needs child about to be born, but also because the official position paper of the denomination set up that expectation of its pastors back in the early 1970’s when it was redrafted to accommodate church members who would be impacted by the legalization of unilateral divorce.

 

This conscientious pastor required every couple getting married in this fellowship to undertake Christ-based premarital counseling.   While there was no indication that this pastor knew about their cohabitation,  by this time there was obvious “probable cause” to ask a few questions in the course of the required sessions, but never did this pastor require Jill and Jack to separate and live apart for a time before the wedding.   There simply wasn’t time if the child was to be born into wedlock.   The official position paper on divorce and remarriage of this denomination  advises extensively on such matters, claiming God “permits” the divorce of covenant spouses on either of two purportedly “biblical” grounds commonly asserted by Protestant denominations, seminaries and national ministries (they all do so while brushing aside the compelling words of Jesus in Luke 16:18,  Matthew 5:19,32 and Matthew 19:6),  This denominational position paper then goes so far as to egregiously claim that God “exits” the original covenant in order to form a “new covenant” with remarriage partners whom Jesus unmistakably said were committing adultery.   My bible says God exits the marriage covenant only when one of the spouses dies.

 

[The Protestant church has traditionally misapplied three scripture passages in an effort to find “biblical grounds” to allow remarriage after a civil divorce:   Deuteronomy 24:1-4,  Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7:15.    An honest analysis of context, culture / audience,  and inconsistency with the vast body of clearer scriptures which contradict such interpretation,  makes “biblical grounds” justification pretty tenuous and the inferred leap to remarriage completely unjustifiable.   Discussion deferred to a future post.] 

 

Little is known about the circumstances of Jack’s covenant marriage with Jane, the mother of his young son, or of his manmade divorce from her, a matter Jesus Christ would almost certainly find a pithy way to say is biblically irrelevant in God’s eyes.   (This church and its denomination would say that if Jack and Jane didn’t happen to be believers when they married, and Jack came to the Lord after getting divorced from Jane, he has “biblical grounds” to remarry.)   Nevertheless, a very pregnant Jill walked down the aisle of that church one Sunday, right after services, and legalized her fornication with Jane’s covenant husband Jack, as solemnized by Jill’s pastor.

 

For a while, all seemed to be well in the ongoing household of Jack and Jill.   Jack’s young son was in church regularly with Jack and Jill.  The little girl born to them was as precious as the day is long, a blessing to the entire fellowship.   Jack seemed to be growing spiritually for a couple of years, and he joined the Sunday morning worship team.   Soon another baby was on the way.   However, as Jack grew ever closer to the Lord, it wasn’t long before the wheels all fell off the marriage wagon very suddenly and without warning.   Tragically, the new baby was born into an estranged home.

 

I have to confess to having no firsthand knowledge of exactly what went wrong, other than the external restlessness that came over Jack.   I only know that when God is beginning to lead a man by His spirit from within, things start to be laid bare and it would be unusual after being born again, being sealed on the inside with the living and active Holy Spirit, if Jack’s heart wasn’t drawn back to his covenant wife Jane, with whom he was still under the power of the indissolvable one-flesh relationship and of the covenant presence of God.   Jack may not yet be aware today of what exactly is making him restless.    That may take some time and working through more confusion, but the day of full recognition will eventually dawn for Jack.   Contrary to what this denomination teaches, God’s character is incapable of breaking holy covenant under any circumstances, and when He says He “hates” divorce, He uses a very strong Hebrew word for “hate” meaning violent revulsion, provoking retribution.    God actively fights for covenant marriages, and man’s divorce decree is meaningless to Him unless it is rectifying the civil legalities of an immoral subsequent union.

 

Meanwhile, it seems doubtful that a brand new believer,  hungrily digging deep into the word of God, and being discipled by the men in the church who are (wrongly) counseling him that his current non-covenant marriage is the righteous union, wouldn’t become very spiritually confused if it was actually the powerful Holy Spirit pushing him from within, toward reconciliation with his covenant wife as a wholesome and necessary milestone on his discipleship journey.    Yet the church members here would paint this move of God as “fresh sin”,  instead of redemptive repentance, because they fundamentally misunderstand covenant and how profoundly the marriages of our youth symbolize the Godhead in God’s design.   Nowhere would the pastor’s enabling role in cementing this broken family situation ever be called into question unless the Holy Spirit convicts this pastor’s heart supernaturally.

 

Though the wheels fell off Jack’s non-covenant marriage wagon, I pray that the spirit of God miraculously holds the wheels on Jack’s discipleship wagon, and that the Lord will send him a godly mentor who harbors no mistaken theology or conflict of interest.

 

After a brief stand, Jill chose not to stand in the way of a civil divorce.   It was wise and profitable for her to let go of the husband who was never rightfully hers, despite the children born from him.     I pray separately for her, that God will provide abundantly for her and the little girls, and in right timing, send her a godly, never-married or widowed husband after first preparing her heart to win that husband God’s way (instead of the world’s way which too often includes sexual entrapment).    I pray that Jack will still be the dad his little girls deserve, and if he reconciles with his covenant wife, God will give Jane a big heart for them.

 

I pray a misled and mis-taught pastor will learn from his part in this very brief marriage.   Even so,  it hasn’t been long since he again married an older widow in the fellowship to somebody else’s covenant husband on denominationally-contrived “biblical grounds” (i.e., that an estranged wife obtained a man-made civil divorce in order to legalize her adultery, and the discarded Christian husband was unwilling to take a biblical stand as a modern-day “Hosea”).   But what did Jesus say?    Luke 16:18 “ …and the one who marries a [spouse] who has been divorced from a [spouse] commits adultery.”    Jack and Jill’s divorce is an actual picture of the only true biblical grounds for divorce, and divorce that requires either celibacy while Jane is alive, or remarriage only to Jane.   Jill is scripturally free following her civil divorce to marry a never-married or widowed man, but not another divorced man.

 

There is a very small remnant of pastors out there who take God at the fullness of His word and in the fullness of His unchanging character.    Some of them minister under the same unscriptural denominational doctrine as this particular pastor, but they shepherd with biblically-correct conviction, elevating the truth, as it comes from the Holy Spirit, over any denominational mandates that conflict with the direct and plain word of God.   They ask all the right discerning questions when approached to do a wedding.   They flatly decline to solemnize any wedding that Jesus would call adultery according to Luke 16:18.    When otherwise biblically-eligible couples are cohabiting, they require them to separate for an agreed time, to denounce, repent and refrain from fornication, preferably moving in with people who will hold them accountable during this period until the wedding.    If the relationship is adulterous, that is, if either partner has the husband or wife of their youth still living, the couple is counseled to permanently sever and seek to be reconciled to their covenant partners, honoring their marriage vows in celibacy until the Lord intervenes and makes that possible.   Unrepentant fornication and adultery is still dealt with by biblical church discipline in these select few local congregations for the sake of the souls of those involved and all those watching.   These pastors understand deeply that violation of covenant marriage vows is spiritually lethal to the witness of the entire congregation (loss of “saltiness”) and to the next several generations of the impacted        famil(ies) , due to the evil soul-ties created.

 

None of this is easy or popular, but Standerinfamilycourt believes dealing biblically with sanitized adultery is what is going to be required to restore God’s blessing, favor and protection to His church and our nation, turning back the twin threats of virulent Islam and hostile atheism that are steadly leaching away the democracy and liberty God once gifted to our nation.     A liberal pagan Federal judge went so far as to call out this permissive hypocrisy  in his ruling which overturned Idaho’s homosexual marriage law  (Latta v. Otter, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, October 7, 2014):  “If defendants [Governors of Idaho and Nevada] really wished to ensure that as many children as possible had married parents, they would do well to rescind the right to no-fault divorce, or to divorce altogether.  Neither has done so.”    Jesus would concur.

 

When God allowed the Assyrians and Babylonians to invade / exile Israel and Judah,  it wasn’t because of the widespread sin of the people that caused Him to finally lose His divine patience.   It was the failure of the priestly class to lead righteously, or to confront and lay hold of their absolute authority under God to eradicate that widespread sin, instead of becoming complicit in it.   Church leadership failed to function as the purifying authority He expects.   The devastating loss of the kingdom and self-rule was God keeping the adverse half of His conditional promises in Deuteronomy 28.

 

Standerinfamilycourt believes what we are seeing today in our utter defeat as the body of Christ goes up against the violent, demonic cultural and international forces, is a repeat of this very dark chapter in Israel’s history as a nation.    I’m being blunt because I believe there is still time for the church in the U.S. to do something about it, after repenting from her heart and on her face before the God of Angel Armies.

In a recent broadcast, women’s discipler Nancy Leigh DeMoss  of the ministry Revive our Hearts.com captured very powerfully the issues around a church remaining faithful under circumstantial pressure and potential legal barriers; full-on obeying God’s word,  not neglecting church discipline to purge biblical disobedience in the body of Christ if we want to win battles that are too big for us against physical and spiritual foes.   The fear of man paints such things as “private matters” but God, whom we ought to be fearing more than we fear the opinions or retribution of man,  has a very different opinion!

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/door-hope/

In dire times like these, the biblical heroes of old always confessed their nation’s sin as if it was their own, and vicariously bore the shame of that corporate sin as if they personally deserved the shame.    They were rewarded with a mighty move of God on their nation.  Examples are found in Daniel, Moses, Nehemiah and Ezra, among others.    Ezra, the quiet, studious prophet who led the successful rebuilding of the demolished temple of God, found out while on his face before the Lord that he needed first to purge all of the immoral and prohibited marriages within the fellowship before the Lord would be with them in their appointed, anointed task of rebuilding the temple.   His fasting prayer seems an appropriate wrap-up to this post….while being careful to point out that in God’s eyes, the only legitimate function for civil divorce is to correct biblically-unlawful marriages:

EZRA Chapter 9

[…and I fell on my knees and stretched out my [c]hands to the Lord my God; 6 and I said, “O my God, I am ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to You, my God, for our iniquities have [d]risen above our heads and our guilt has grown even to the heavens. 7 Since the days of our fathers to this day we have been in great guilt, and on account of our iniquities we, our kings and our priests have been given into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity and to plunder and to [e]open shame, as it is this day. 8 But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. 9 For we are slaves; yet in our bondage our God has not forsaken us, but has extended lovingkindness to us in the sight of the kings of Persia, to give us reviving to raise up the house of our God, to restore its ruins and to give us a wall in Judah and Jerusalem.

10 “Now, our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken Your commandments, 11 which You have commanded by Your servants the prophets, saying, ‘The land which you are entering to possess is an unclean land with the uncleanness of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations which have filled it from end to end and with their impurity. 12 So now do not give your daughters to their sons nor take their daughters to your sons, and never seek their peace or their prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good things of the land and leave it as an inheritance to your sons forever.’ 13 After all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and our great guilt, since You our God have requited us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us an escaped remnant as this, 14 shall we again break Your commandments and intermarry with the peoples [f]who commit these abominations? Would You not be angry with us [g]to the point of destruction, until there is no remnant nor any who escape? 15 O Lord God of Israel, You are righteous, for we have been left an escaped remnant, as it is this day; behold, we are before You in our guilt, for no one can stand before You because of this.”

 

As was the case with Ezra’s fellowship, compromise and outright disobedience by church leadership to God’s clear instructions can be messy and ugly to clean up before watching worldly eyes,  but  this still does not let our church leadership off the hook for carrying through with the cleanup, nor does it justify that the immorality remain hidden, because it is a fallacy that it will remain hidden.    Cleanup is the unavoidable cost of restoring both the integrity and Spirit-led potency (salt and light) among the culture that God expects of His church, and especially of its leadership.    Ezra’s fellowship readily obeyed because they saw exactly what was at stake in the survival of Judah as a nation.    There was an ugly, public sending away (restitutional divorcing)  of over one  hundred pagan wives and their children that probably caught immense cultural “flak” among the nations from whence those wives originated–flak that would far exceed anything the church would likely experience from an equivalent move today.    The bible tells us in Ezra chapter 10 that this sending away included 17 pastors’ wives,  6 church board wives, a worship leader’s wife and 87 wives from the rest of the congregation and all their children.    It would have been far better to obey God upfront;  to not have the massive cleanup to face at the cost of public scandal / church shrinkage.    Nevertheless, the nation of Judah fully and promptly embraced the publicly painful program of restitution and repentance — and their Divine reward was the dramatic healing of their land for ceasing and purging all life ways which misrepresented God in His holy, sacred covenant with all of them (and with all of us) .  Neither is God likely to give the American church a “pass” on this one.

 

Related post: Rev. Al Mohler

7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce

www.standerinfamilycourt.com