by: standerinfamilycourt.com
“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.” – Matthew 5:13
“The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted. “ – Proverbs 29:25
“But I have this against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads My bond-servants astray so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality.” – Message to the Church at Thyratira, Revelation 2:20
She was a 30-something never-married daughter in a large and important family in the small congregation. He was a civilly-divorced father of a young son. Let’s call them Jack and Jill, not their real names. They met online, dated briefly and then moved in together. Soon Jill was expecting a child whom they learned would be born a special-needs child. Jack and Jill were enveloped in the loving, accepting arms of the body of Christ in that fellowship, and somewhere along the way, one of the men led seeker Jack to the Lord.
Even though the word of God clearly states that Jack already has a covenant wife we’ll call Jane (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:39), the senior pastor agreed to wed Jack to Jill, probably out of very understandable empathy for the special-needs child about to be born, but also because the official position paper of the denomination set up that expectation of its pastors back in the early 1970’s when it was redrafted to accommodate church members who would be impacted by the legalization of unilateral divorce.
This conscientious pastor required every couple getting married in this fellowship to undertake Christ-based premarital counseling. While there was no indication that this pastor knew about their cohabitation, by this time there was obvious “probable cause” to ask a few questions in the course of the required sessions, but never did this pastor require Jill and Jack to separate and live apart for a time before the wedding. There simply wasn’t time if the child was to be born into wedlock. The official position paper on divorce and remarriage of this denomination advises extensively on such matters, claiming God “permits” the divorce of covenant spouses on either of two purportedly “biblical” grounds commonly asserted by Protestant denominations, seminaries and national ministries (they all do so while brushing aside the compelling words of Jesus in Luke 16:18, Matthew 5:19,32 and Matthew 19:6), This denominational position paper then goes so far as to egregiously claim that God “exits” the original covenant in order to form a “new covenant” with remarriage partners whom Jesus unmistakably said were committing adultery. My bible says God exits the marriage covenant only when one of the spouses dies.
[The Protestant church has traditionally misapplied three scripture passages in an effort to find “biblical grounds” to allow remarriage after a civil divorce: Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7:15. An honest analysis of context, culture / audience, and inconsistency with the vast body of clearer scriptures which contradict such interpretation, makes “biblical grounds” justification pretty tenuous and the inferred leap to remarriage completely unjustifiable. Discussion deferred to a future post.]
Little is known about the circumstances of Jack’s covenant marriage with Jane, the mother of his young son, or of his manmade divorce from her, a matter Jesus Christ would almost certainly find a pithy way to say is biblically irrelevant in God’s eyes. (This church and its denomination would say that if Jack and Jane didn’t happen to be believers when they married, and Jack came to the Lord after getting divorced from Jane, he has “biblical grounds” to remarry.) Nevertheless, a very pregnant Jill walked down the aisle of that church one Sunday, right after services, and legalized her fornication with Jane’s covenant husband Jack, as solemnized by Jill’s pastor.
For a while, all seemed to be well in the ongoing household of Jack and Jill. Jack’s young son was in church regularly with Jack and Jill. The little girl born to them was as precious as the day is long, a blessing to the entire fellowship. Jack seemed to be growing spiritually for a couple of years, and he joined the Sunday morning worship team. Soon another baby was on the way. However, as Jack grew ever closer to the Lord, it wasn’t long before the wheels all fell off the marriage wagon very suddenly and without warning. Tragically, the new baby was born into an estranged home.
I have to confess to having no firsthand knowledge of exactly what went wrong, other than the external restlessness that came over Jack. I only know that when God is beginning to lead a man by His spirit from within, things start to be laid bare and it would be unusual after being born again, being sealed on the inside with the living and active Holy Spirit, if Jack’s heart wasn’t drawn back to his covenant wife Jane, with whom he was still under the power of the indissolvable one-flesh relationship and of the covenant presence of God. Jack may not yet be aware today of what exactly is making him restless. That may take some time and working through more confusion, but the day of full recognition will eventually dawn for Jack. Contrary to what this denomination teaches, God’s character is incapable of breaking holy covenant under any circumstances, and when He says He “hates” divorce, He uses a very strong Hebrew word for “hate” meaning violent revulsion, provoking retribution. God actively fights for covenant marriages, and man’s divorce decree is meaningless to Him unless it is rectifying the civil legalities of an immoral subsequent union.
Meanwhile, it seems doubtful that a brand new believer, hungrily digging deep into the word of God, and being discipled by the men in the church who are (wrongly) counseling him that his current non-covenant marriage is the righteous union, wouldn’t become very spiritually confused if it was actually the powerful Holy Spirit pushing him from within, toward reconciliation with his covenant wife as a wholesome and necessary milestone on his discipleship journey. Yet the church members here would paint this move of God as “fresh sin”, instead of redemptive repentance, because they fundamentally misunderstand covenant and how profoundly the marriages of our youth symbolize the Godhead in God’s design. Nowhere would the pastor’s enabling role in cementing this broken family situation ever be called into question unless the Holy Spirit convicts this pastor’s heart supernaturally.
Though the wheels fell off Jack’s non-covenant marriage wagon, I pray that the spirit of God miraculously holds the wheels on Jack’s discipleship wagon, and that the Lord will send him a godly mentor who harbors no mistaken theology or conflict of interest.
After a brief stand, Jill chose not to stand in the way of a civil divorce. It was wise and profitable for her to let go of the husband who was never rightfully hers, despite the children born from him. I pray separately for her, that God will provide abundantly for her and the little girls, and in right timing, send her a godly, never-married or widowed husband after first preparing her heart to win that husband God’s way (instead of the world’s way which too often includes sexual entrapment). I pray that Jack will still be the dad his little girls deserve, and if he reconciles with his covenant wife, God will give Jane a big heart for them.
I pray a misled and mis-taught pastor will learn from his part in this very brief marriage. Even so, it hasn’t been long since he again married an older widow in the fellowship to somebody else’s covenant husband on denominationally-contrived “biblical grounds” (i.e., that an estranged wife obtained a man-made civil divorce in order to legalize her adultery, and the discarded Christian husband was unwilling to take a biblical stand as a modern-day “Hosea”). But what did Jesus say? Luke 16:18 “ …and the one who marries a [spouse] who has been divorced from a [spouse] commits adultery.” Jack and Jill’s divorce is an actual picture of the only true biblical grounds for divorce, and divorce that requires either celibacy while Jane is alive, or remarriage only to Jane. Jill is scripturally free following her civil divorce to marry a never-married or widowed man, but not another divorced man.
There is a very small remnant of pastors out there who take God at the fullness of His word and in the fullness of His unchanging character. Some of them minister under the same unscriptural denominational doctrine as this particular pastor, but they shepherd with biblically-correct conviction, elevating the truth, as it comes from the Holy Spirit, over any denominational mandates that conflict with the direct and plain word of God. They ask all the right discerning questions when approached to do a wedding. They flatly decline to solemnize any wedding that Jesus would call adultery according to Luke 16:18. When otherwise biblically-eligible couples are cohabiting, they require them to separate for an agreed time, to denounce, repent and refrain from fornication, preferably moving in with people who will hold them accountable during this period until the wedding. If the relationship is adulterous, that is, if either partner has the husband or wife of their youth still living, the couple is counseled to permanently sever and seek to be reconciled to their covenant partners, honoring their marriage vows in celibacy until the Lord intervenes and makes that possible. Unrepentant fornication and adultery is still dealt with by biblical church discipline in these select few local congregations for the sake of the souls of those involved and all those watching. These pastors understand deeply that violation of covenant marriage vows is spiritually lethal to the witness of the entire congregation (loss of “saltiness”) and to the next several generations of the impacted famil(ies) , due to the evil soul-ties created.
None of this is easy or popular, but Standerinfamilycourt believes dealing biblically with sanitized adultery is what is going to be required to restore God’s blessing, favor and protection to His church and our nation, turning back the twin threats of virulent Islam and hostile atheism that are steadly leaching away the democracy and liberty God once gifted to our nation. A liberal pagan Federal judge went so far as to call out this permissive hypocrisy in his ruling which overturned Idaho’s homosexual marriage law (Latta v. Otter, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, October 7, 2014): “If defendants [Governors of Idaho and Nevada] really wished to ensure that as many children as possible had married parents, they would do well to rescind the right to no-fault divorce, or to divorce altogether. Neither has done so.” Jesus would concur.
When God allowed the Assyrians and Babylonians to invade / exile Israel and Judah, it wasn’t because of the widespread sin of the people that caused Him to finally lose His divine patience. It was the failure of the priestly class to lead righteously, or to confront and lay hold of their absolute authority under God to eradicate that widespread sin, instead of becoming complicit in it. Church leadership failed to function as the purifying authority He expects. The devastating loss of the kingdom and self-rule was God keeping the adverse half of His conditional promises in Deuteronomy 28.
Standerinfamilycourt believes what we are seeing today in our utter defeat as the body of Christ goes up against the violent, demonic cultural and international forces, is a repeat of this very dark chapter in Israel’s history as a nation. I’m being blunt because I believe there is still time for the church in the U.S. to do something about it, after repenting from her heart and on her face before the God of Angel Armies.
In a recent broadcast, women’s discipler Nancy Leigh DeMoss of the ministry Revive our Hearts.com captured very powerfully the issues around a church remaining faithful under circumstantial pressure and potential legal barriers; full-on obeying God’s word, not neglecting church discipline to purge biblical disobedience in the body of Christ if we want to win battles that are too big for us against physical and spiritual foes. The fear of man paints such things as “private matters” but God, whom we ought to be fearing more than we fear the opinions or retribution of man, has a very different opinion!
https://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/door-hope/
In dire times like these, the biblical heroes of old always confessed their nation’s sin as if it was their own, and vicariously bore the shame of that corporate sin as if they personally deserved the shame. They were rewarded with a mighty move of God on their nation. Examples are found in Daniel, Moses, Nehemiah and Ezra, among others. Ezra, the quiet, studious prophet who led the successful rebuilding of the demolished temple of God, found out while on his face before the Lord that he needed first to purge all of the immoral and prohibited marriages within the fellowship before the Lord would be with them in their appointed, anointed task of rebuilding the temple. His fasting prayer seems an appropriate wrap-up to this post….while being careful to point out that in God’s eyes, the only legitimate function for civil divorce is to correct biblically-unlawful marriages:
EZRA Chapter 9
[…and I fell on my knees and stretched out my [c]hands to the Lord my God; 6 and I said, “O my God, I am ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to You, my God, for our iniquities have [d]risen above our heads and our guilt has grown even to the heavens. 7 Since the days of our fathers to this day we have been in great guilt, and on account of our iniquities we, our kings and our priests have been given into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity and to plunder and to [e]open shame, as it is this day. 8 But now for a brief moment grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us an escaped remnant and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our bondage. 9 For we are slaves; yet in our bondage our God has not forsaken us, but has extended lovingkindness to us in the sight of the kings of Persia, to give us reviving to raise up the house of our God, to restore its ruins and to give us a wall in Judah and Jerusalem.
10 “Now, our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken Your commandments, 11 which You have commanded by Your servants the prophets, saying, ‘The land which you are entering to possess is an unclean land with the uncleanness of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations which have filled it from end to end and with their impurity. 12 So now do not give your daughters to their sons nor take their daughters to your sons, and never seek their peace or their prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good things of the land and leave it as an inheritance to your sons forever.’ 13 After all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and our great guilt, since You our God have requited us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us an escaped remnant as this, 14 shall we again break Your commandments and intermarry with the peoples [f]who commit these abominations? Would You not be angry with us [g]to the point of destruction, until there is no remnant nor any who escape? 15 O Lord God of Israel, You are righteous, for we have been left an escaped remnant, as it is this day; behold, we are before You in our guilt, for no one can stand before You because of this.”
As was the case with Ezra’s fellowship, compromise and outright disobedience by church leadership to God’s clear instructions can be messy and ugly to clean up before watching worldly eyes, but this still does not let our church leadership off the hook for carrying through with the cleanup, nor does it justify that the immorality remain hidden, because it is a fallacy that it will remain hidden. Cleanup is the unavoidable cost of restoring both the integrity and Spirit-led potency (salt and light) among the culture that God expects of His church, and especially of its leadership. Ezra’s fellowship readily obeyed because they saw exactly what was at stake in the survival of Judah as a nation. There was an ugly, public sending away (restitutional divorcing) of over one hundred pagan wives and their children that probably caught immense cultural “flak” among the nations from whence those wives originated–flak that would far exceed anything the church would likely experience from an equivalent move today. The bible tells us in Ezra chapter 10 that this sending away included 17 pastors’ wives, 6 church board wives, a worship leader’s wife and 87 wives from the rest of the congregation and all their children. It would have been far better to obey God upfront; to not have the massive cleanup to face at the cost of public scandal / church shrinkage. Nevertheless, the nation of Judah fully and promptly embraced the publicly painful program of restitution and repentance — and their Divine reward was the dramatic healing of their land for ceasing and purging all life ways which misrepresented God in His holy, sacred covenant with all of them (and with all of us) . Neither is God likely to give the American church a “pass” on this one.
7 Times Around the Jericho Wall | Let’s Repeal No-Fault Divorce
www.standerinfamilycourt.com